#carol

Well, I don't know how my tattoo is gonna look when I'm 60, Carol, but I know you'll be dead by then so

If you didn't wanna hear "Baby smell is biology preventing the mom from eating it," you shouldn't have invited me to the baby shower, Carol!

WIFE: Carol's hubby gives her flowers EVERY day. I'd LOVE u to do that ME: Ok [next day] ME [giving Carol flowers] No I don't get it either

Oh really, Carol? It takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown? How many muscles does it take you to mind your own business

I brought my Beats headphones to work, and instead of being left alone, I've had 7 rap battles and am in the finals against A$AP Carol.

Carol learned a hard lesson the day she forgot the word berry when googling blueberry waffle recipes.

Boss: you're late Me: traffic Carol: he was in his car taking selfies again Me: goddammit Carol, I will cut you

Barber: What would you like today? Me: Make me look attractive. Barber: CAROL! CANCEL ALL MY APPOINTMENTS!

On the 5th day of Christmas? Christmas is ONE day, Carol. Convert to Judaism if you need a longer holiday.

I live in constant fear that someone will abduct my mother in law at 35 Ash Street, London, Flat 2, door is sticky buzz Carol to let you in.

Carol from Facebook said she's "taking it one day at a time," so I responded "me too. That's how days work."

I opened the door last night to carol singers & said ""Do you know Silent Night?"" ""Yes"" they replied ""Well piss off then because I want one!""

What do you call a woman who thinks she can do everything a man can do. Carol.

Two women are waiting to get into Heaven Both are in their mid-30's with a lot in common. They introduce themselves as Carol and Jill and quickly become good friends. After some time, Jill finally asks the big question. ""So how did you end up here?"" Carol takes some time before she answers. ""Well, I had been married for five years and my husband started to act strange over the past month. I find out that he was cheating on me and since he worked at home, I decided to catch him in the act by c…

My buddy You ever have one of those friends that are just OBSESSED with Star Wars? Yeah, me too. Tim Lehey is his name. Number of years he went to a -con where he met this girl Carol Hu. Now, Carol was a friggin Star Wars nut herself. They'd go on and on about how Lucas was so great and...blah blah blah... Well, they had one hell of a whirlwind romance, and decided to get married. Well, Carol was really proud of her ancestry, and told Tim that she wasn't going to take his name, so they decided t…

Two women meet in heaven... There's these two women meeting for the first time in heaven who's names are Carol and Lydia. Carol leans over and asks Lydia what the cause of her death was. Lydia says, "Well I froze to death. How did you die?" To which Carol replies "I died of a massive heart attack." Very concerned, Lydia asks "What caused the heart attack?" Carol starts then explaining on how she thought her husband was cheating on her. And how she had come home early to catch him in the act but…

Carol, a blonde city girl, marries a Cornish dairy farmer. One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, farmer John says to Carol, 'The insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today. I drove a nail into the rail above the cow's stall in the barn. You show him where the cow is when he gets here, OK?' So then the farmer leaves for the fields. After a while, the insemination man arrives and knocks on the front door. Carol takes him down to the barn. They walk along the r…

Little Carol... Little Carol came into the kitchen where her mother was making dinner. Her birthday was coming up and she thought this was a good time to tell her mother what she wanted. "Mom, I want a bike for my birthday." Now, Little Carol was a bit of a troublemaker. She had gotten into trouble at school and at home. Carol's mother asked her if she thought she deserved to get a bike for her birthday. Little Carol, of course, thought she did. Carol's mother, been a Christian woman, wanted he…

A brave and fearsome pirate sailed toward a small island, in search for buried treasure. He and his crew raced ahead in their rowboat, eagerly awaiting a massive payday. When they shortly came upon a large forest, they searched desperately for the last clue on the map. As the first mate guided them carefully up to a clearing, he stopped suddenly and pointed at a crouched figure straight ahead. The captain gasped. "...Carol??" "Hey, loser," she droned, relieving herself between two pines. "I …

Little Carol... Little Carol came into the kitchen where her mother was making dinner. Her birthday was coming up and she thought this was a good time to tell her mother what she wanted. ""Mom

I opened the door last night to carol singers & said ""Do you know Silent Night?"" ""Yes"" they replied

Carol a blonde city girl

Wife comes home and finds her husband sipping coffee with another woman She starts swearing at her husband immediatelly. He stops her: ‘Don't shout at me, this woman has come to see you.’ ‘Me? You cheating liar, I don't know her at all!’ ‘OK, let me introduce you then. This is Carol, wife of your lover…’

What do you call a female driver? Carol.