#farmer-john

Down on the farm..... One day Farmer John decides to visit Farmer Bill's farm. He gets there early in the morning and is greeted by Farmer Bill. Farmer John tells Farmer Bill: ""Bill, you've got yourself a nice, little farm here. Really small but over all it's kind of nice."" Farmer Bill replies: ""Thank you John."" Farmer John says: ""Bill, you know, MY farm is so BIG I can get up in the morning, hop in my truck and drive around until sunset and STILL not reach the end of MY farm."" Farmer Bill…

Farmer John had the prettiest wife in town--we're talking a real dish --and every many in town wanted her. Sam Spoon wanted her the most, and he had a plan to get her. Every day Farmer John would drive his truck to the base of his pasture to feed his prize cow, Bessie. Farmer John'd throw hay over the fence and ring a big cowbell, and when she heard it, Bessie'd come rumbling down the steep hill to eat. So, one day, Sam used a piece of rope to tie Bessie to a tree at the hill's top. When Farmer …

Farmers and their Pig Old, long winded, and immature. But, I always laugh at it Three farmers had been competing at the state fair for several years now for the biggest pig contest. Each year though all three farmers would lose to a pig from another county. So, Farmer John calls farmer Brown and Farmer Dan over to his house one day. Farmer John had the idea that the reason each one of them lost separately was because neither of them had a farm with enough food to feed their respective pigs, so t…

Redneck definitions: asparagus There were two farmers, farmer Bill and farmer John. Farmer John had two sons and he named them both ""Gus"", because he really couldn't think of a better name for the second boy. Farmer bill called up farmer John and said, ""could you gimme a hand with bailing all this hay down here at my farm?"" Farmer John replied, ""well shoot, Bill I wish I could, but I got to tend to my chickens before sun down... But I'll tell you what, 'ah-spare-a-gus!!'

Farming for a Nobel Prize Farmer John is driving along the road one day when he spots his neighbour, Bill, standing on top of his tractor in the middle of his field. Overcome with curiosity, he ambles over and asks Bill what he is up to? Bill replies, "Trying to win a Nobel prize". "How do you figure?" "Well, I hear they give them to people who are outstanding in their fields!"

Farmer John's wife kept nagging him to fix the outhouse But every time he went to check it out, he couldn't find anything wrong with it. One day he'd had enough. He calls his wife out to take a look with him. He shines a flashlight around the tiny poopshack and shows her that it is fine and functioning. Not a thing of beauty, but it serves its purpose. "Check the hole", she says. He points the light at the seat and down through the hole, but he can't see what she could be talking about. She …

Carol, a blonde city girl, marries a Cornish dairy farmer. One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, farmer John says to Carol, 'The insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today. I drove a nail into the rail above the cow's stall in the barn. You show him where the cow is when he gets here, OK?' So then the farmer leaves for the fields. After a while, the insemination man arrives and knocks on the front door. Carol takes him down to the barn. They walk along the r…

Farming for a Nobel Prize Farmer John is driving along the road one day when he spots his neighbour