#bessie

A farmer named Paddy had a . . . A farmer named Paddy had a car accident. He was hit by a truck owned by the Eversweet Company. In court, the Eversweet Company's hot-shot solicitor was questioning Paddy. 'Didn't you say to the police at the scene of the accident that you were fine?' asked the solicitor. Paddy responded: 'Well, I'll tell you what happened. I'd just loaded my fav'rit cow, Bessie, into da... ' 'I didn't ask for any details', the solicitor interrupted. 'Just answer the question. Did…

Cow joke What's wrong with Bessie? She looks like she's in constant pain! She has mooootiple sclerosis

Farmer John had the prettiest wife in town--we're talking a real dish --and every many in town wanted her. Sam Spoon wanted her the most, and he had a plan to get her. Every day Farmer John would drive his truck to the base of his pasture to feed his prize cow, Bessie. Farmer John'd throw hay over the fence and ring a big cowbell, and when she heard it, Bessie'd come rumbling down the steep hill to eat. So, one day, Sam used a piece of rope to tie Bessie to a tree at the hill's top. When Farmer …

A dog howling and a woman moaning... ... wake a drunk man passed out in an Irish pub. ""What the devil is that wailing?"" The drunk asks the bartender. ""Oh, that's just my dog Bessie in the cellar and my grandmum upstairs. The poor bitch broke her tooth chewing on a bone... I'll have to take her to the veterinarian... and the old crone is just moaning in her sleep."" The bartender laughs. ""She probably just needs a good shag."" The drunk staggers to his feet. ""Bad tooth pulled... shag... I'm …

Barnyard Tales A salesman gets lost in the country one night and sees he's low on gas. He sees a light on in a farmhouse and decides to stop and ask for directions. The farmer who answers the door listens to his request for directions but instead says to the salesman, ""Why don't you just stop for the night and stay over? These back roads can be mighty treacherous and I'd hate to see you get stranded out here. I can put you up in my barn for the night, then in the morning you can get a nice big …

What was Farmer Joe supposed to say? Farmer Joe decided his injuries from his recent accident were serious enough to take the trucking company, responsible for the accident, to court. In court, the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning Farmer Joe. ""Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, that you were fine?"" ''Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule Bessie into the--"" ''I didn't ask for any details,'' the lawyer interrupted. ''Just answer the ques…

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from his recent accident were serious enough to take the trucking company responsible for the accident to court. In court, the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe. ""Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, that you were fine?"" ''Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule Bessie into the--"" ''I didn't ask for any details,'' the lawyer interrupted. ''Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of …

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company, responsible for the accident, to court. In court, the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning Farmer Joe. ""Didn't you say, 'I'm fine', at the scene of the accident?"" asked the lawyer. Farmer Joe responded, ""Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule Bessie into the..."" ""I didn't ask for a long, drawn-out story,"" the lawyer interrupted, ""just answer the que…

A farmer named Clyde had a car accident. In court, the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning Clyde. ""Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine,'?"" asked the lawyer. Clyde responded, ""Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule, Bessie..."" ""I didn't ask for any details"", the lawyer interrupted. ""Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'?"" Clyde said, ""Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer …

A man's car stalled on a country road one morning. When the man got out to fix it a cow came along and stopped beside him. ""Your trouble is probably in the carburetor"" said the cow. Startled the man jumped back and ran down the road until he met a farmer. The amazed man told the farmer his story. ""Was it a large red cow with a brown spot over the right eye?"" asked the farmer. ""Yes yes"" the man replied. ""Oh! I wouldn't listen to Bessie"" said the farmer. ""She doesn't know a thing about …

Farmer Brown decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company (responsible for the accident) to court. In court the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning Farmer Brown. ""Didn't you say at the scene of the accident 'I'm fine'?"" asked the lawyer. Farmer Brown responded ""Well I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule Bessie into the..."" ""I didn't ask for any details"" the lawyer interrupted ""just answer the question. Did …

Bertie, Bessie, the Company, its Lawyer, and the Judge A farmer named Bertie had a car accident. He was hit by a truck owned by the Eversweet Company. In court, the Eversweet Company's hot-shot solicitor was questioning Bertie. 'Didn't you say to the police at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine?' asked the solicitor. Bertie responded: 'Well, I'll tell you what happened. I'd just loaded my fav'rit cow, Bessie, into da... ' 'I didn't ask for any details', the solicitor interrupted. 'Just ans…

Close Call A Newfoundland farmer named Angus had a car accident. He was hit by a truck owned by the Eversweet Company. In court, the Eversweet Company's hot-shot solicitor was questioning Angus. "Didn't you say to the RCMP at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine?'" asked the solicitor. Angus responded: "Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favourite cow, Bessie, into the-" "I didn't ask for any details," the solicitor interrupted. "Just answer the question. Did you not…

Somethings You Can't Explain. So a farmer walks into a bar and orders 15 shots. The bartender asks "why are you getting wasted on such a beautiful day" The farmer replies "Somethings you can't explain to your wife.." The Bartender says" well you can try explain to me" The farmer sighs and says "You see I was milking my cow Bessie and once I got a full bucket she kicked it over with her front right leg. So I tied it to a post. I then started to milk her and once I got a full bucket she kicks it…

A farmer named Paddy had an accident... He was hit by a truck owned by the Eversweet Company. In court, the Eversweet Company's hot-shot solicitor was questioning Paddy. 'Didn't you say to the police at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine?' asked the solicitor. Paddy responded: 'Well, I'll tell you what happened. I'd just loaded my fav'rit cow, Bessie, into da... ' 'I didn't ask for any details', the solicitor interrupted. 'Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of…

Sven the Farmer A Minnesota farmer named Sven had a car accident. He was hit by a truck owned by the Ajax Company. In court, the Ajax Company's hot shot attorney questioned him thus "Didn't you say to the state trooper at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine?'" Sven responded: "Vell, I'lla tell you vat happened dere. I'd yust loaded my fav'rit cow, Bessie, into da..." "I didn't ask for any details," the lawyer interrupted. "Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accid…

Irish Car Accident A farmer named Paddy had a car accident. He was hit by a truck owned by the Eversweet Company. In court, the Eversweet Company's hot-shot solicitor was questioning Paddy. 'Didn't you say to the police at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine?' asked the solicitor. Paddy responded: 'Well, I'll tell you what happened. I'd just loaded my fav'rit cow, Bessie, into da... ' 'I didn't ask for any details', the solicitor interrupted. 'Just answer the question. Did you not say, at …

Classic Winston Churchill wit.... These are old and possibly apocryphal, but just in case of the younger redditors haven't heard them: Bessie Braddock: “Sir, you are drunk.” Churchill: “And you, Bessie, are ugly. But I shall be sober in the morning." Truman to Churchill on Churchill's replacement as PM, Clement Atlee: "he seems like a modest fellow." Churchill: "He has much to be modest about." Actor friend sent telegram to Churchill: "MY NEW SHOW OPENS IN WEST END TOMORROW NIGHT. HAVE R…

Sam and Bessie Sam and Bessie were friends with benefits in their retirement community. One day

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from his recent accident were serious enough to take the trucking company responsible for the accident to court. In court, the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe. "Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, that you were fine?" "Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule Bessie into the--" "I didn't ask for any details," the lawyer interrupted. "Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the acc…