#hitler

Long story short, hitler beat me up and has my time machine.

I bet the worst part about being single is knowing that even Hitler found someone who loved him.

Lots of people comparing Trump to ISIS and Hitler. Wow. Take it easy, guys! That's not very nice to ISIS or Hitler.

So what if I used a time machine to kill Hitler but arrived too late? And now he's alive and knows how to time travel? Would you guys be mad

Having survived numerous mysterious strangers attempting to kill him as a child, Hitler swore revenge on a cruel world.

I asked the grocery store man if they had eggnog and he's like "We only carry it at Christmastime" so I was all "Whatever, Hitler."

a 21st century Hitler would have Macklemore hair (the moustache was attempt to seem young & trendy) & he would call himself a "race wonk"

"Do it!" Nah, I don't wanna. "Come on, man!" No way. "It'll be fun!" I don't know... "Do it for the Vine!" Oh alright. *Hitler invades Poland*

I'm sick of people blaming the Internet when someone gets killed. Watch the History Channel. Hitler didn't find the Jews on craigslist.

I wonder if anyone ever told Hitler "just be yourself".

*agrees with someone online* Yeah, I agree. *disagrees with someone online* YOU'RE NOT JUST WRONG YOU'RE HITLER AND I HATE YOU FOREVER

I guess my least favorite author is probably Hitler

If u had Hitler & a guy who doesnt mute the keyboard on his iPhone in a room & could only kill one, would u give Hitler the dead guys phone?

I want to do for the unibrow what Hitler did for the little moustache.

If Hitler was alive today and had his own hotel, he would charge for wifi.

hah woops!! someone asked me what's up, i tried to say "not much" and "just chillin" at the same time, accidentally said "hitler was cool"!!

Oh, elderly neighbor: You defeated Hitler, yet you somehow can't figure out the car alarm?

Of all the millions of candidates in history, it figures that Hitler would be the one to keep his campaign promises.

[party in 1939] teen: truth or dare hitler: dare teen: dare you to invade poland hitler: omg no way u guys all the teens: DO IT DO IT

"Why didn't any of you go back and kill Hitler?" TIME TRAVELER: We prioritized stopping Zortho the Endless Scourge in 1935. "Who?" TT: Bingo

Maybe Hitler started WWII after being constantly attacked by time travelers.

Melania Trump says her husband is "not Hitler." That's true. Hitler had a mustache and adult-sized hands.

FUN FACT: Hitler used to say goodbye to people, then come back into the room for something and make everyone awkwardly say goodbye again.

Wife: He's always rewriting the past.. Therapist: is this true? Me: [doesn't hear because I'm typing 'Shrek killed Hitler' into Wikipedia]

If I had a time machine, sure I'd go back & kill Hitler, but first I'd pick up an ice cold Coca Cola Classic! (sponsored tweet)