#hitler

What's the difference between Hitler and Lance Armstrong? Lance armstrong can finish a race

How does Hitler like his Juice? From concentrate.

Jewish Pun What did Hitler say when the Jews got away? Aushwitz, they got away!

A young Hitler, and a young Mao are in a room with a cannibal The cannibal had dic-tator tots for dinner

Why was hitler bad with directions? Because three reichs don't make a left.

""Sir, we're mining too many useless minerals!"" Hitler: ""Mine fewer then"" Reddit: ""I did **not see** that coming"" EDIT: Shit, I didn't get that Reich at all

Hitler and Mussolini are planning an invasion of Switzerland... Mussolini asks: ""Where shall the border lie?"" Hitler proposes the border to be where the armies meet, to which Mussolini replies: ""No, I want to hold on to Rome!""

Why did France really surrender to Germany? *Hitler was being Vichy.* [Just thought of this earlier in the shower... Had gas ever since.]

What do the English and Hitler have in common? They both hate the Polish.

[Different] Why isn't Hitler in Mario Kart? Because he can Nazi the road.

What's the difference between Hitler and Killer Keemstar (DramaAlert)? Hitler knew when to kill himself. (Got this from the youtube comments of Hell)

A grammar nazi was working in the iron mines, when one of the miners went up to Hitler and gave him a report. Hitler told the man, ""You are mining too much iron. Mine less!"" The grammar nazi could not help himself and shouted, ""Mine fewer!"" Hitler said, ""Yes?""

A time-traveller and his student.. A college professor at a small college had just invented time-travel. He knew he couldn't trust just anyone with this secret, so he chose to tell only his best student; an african-american student named Mark. When the professor told him, Mark was shocked! ""So what do you plan to do with you time-machine?"" Mark asked. ""I'm going to kill Hitler when he was a child"" The professor responded. Mark was both appalled and intrigued, so he asked the professor if he …

Me and my Girlfriend just broke up We had different views on history, I wanted to Hitler and she was just Stalin.

Did you know that Hitler survived World War 2? He's currently a mod at r/news.

What would you say to Hitler if he was sick? Hey, ill Hitler!

What do you call a car crash caused by Hitler? An axisdent

Hitler was inspecting Auschwitz one day... When he saw a little Jewish boy and asked; ""Hello little one, how old are you""? ""I'll be six on Thursday"" the boy answered proudly. ""No you won't"" Hitler laughed.

Why does hitler not like jewish lemonade ? Its to hasidic

Does Hitler have a favorite number? Hitler: Nine.

Hitler was a charitable guy. He backed Japan when they needed help in WW2.

What did Hitler drink, as a child? Jews!

What does hitler say when he stubs his toe? Aushwitz

Why did Hitler struggle to eat his Chinese food? Because he ordered the chow mein Kampf.

Whats the difference between Trump and Hitler? About 70 years