#hitler

What did Hitler name his network switch to? Auswitch

Great feats are always about timing. You think Hitler would have killed that many Jews four thousand years ago?

What did Hitler do to lose weight? He went on a Jews cleanse.

Imagine dressing up as Hitler for Halloween in Israel.

Hitler's playing dice with Jews... He explains the rules: ""So, if you roll an odd number, you will be gassed. If you roll an even number, you'll get a special surprise."" The first jew rolls an odd number - gets gassed. The second jew rolls an odd number - gets gassed. The third jew rolls an even number. Hitler says: ""...ok, now to your surprise. You can roll the die again!""

Adolf Hitler has been judged very harshly by history however.. he did kill Hitler. NB: stolen from Jimmy Carr

Who said the first million was the hardest? Was it hitler?

Hitler was walking through a concentration camp And he came upon a little girl laying on the ground. He asks how old she is, to which she replies ""I turn 8 tomorrow "". Hitler chuckles a little and says ""no you don't""

What was the name of the strip club Hitler worked at? The ""Naughtsy""

What did Hitler tell his wife on Valentines Day? Be Mein

Putin, Angela Merkel and Obama stand ona a dock... Obama says ""The USA built a submarine that can dive for 1 week without needing to refuel."" Putin responds ""Our nuclear submarines can dive for a whole month!"" Suddenly a old submarine comes out of the water. The hatch opens, a Wehrmacht -soldier comes out and says ""Heil Hitler we need fuel""

Hitler and Stalin in a bar A man walks into a bar a sees who he thinks are Hitler and Stalin. He asks the bartender who confirms his suspicion. The man turns toward Hitler and Stalin and asks, ""What are you talking about?"" Hitler says, ""Oh I'm coming up with a plan to kill 14 million Jews and a bicycle repairman."" The man asks, ""Why the bike repairman?"" Hitler turns to Stalin and says, ""See I told you no one cares about the Jews!""

Where did Hitler keep his armies? In his sleevies. ^^^^Sorry

Q: Why did Hitler shoot himself? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . He lost WW2.

How did Hitler become a hero? He killed Hitler.

America needs to build a statue of the man who killed Hitler

How did Hitler tie his shoes? In little nazis. Oldie but still good.

Hitler was hunting in the forests of Germany, but he forbade the harming of male deer because... ...they were Reichstags.

What do call a Nazi that takes bribes? Paid-off Hitler!

What do you call an unemployed Nazi? Laid-off Hitler!

What did Hitler say when he didn't receive enough change from the cashier? ""This is neinsense!!""

Hitler did nothing wrong.... He wanted a glass of juice, not to gas the jews!

Why did Hitler have so much energy? He was on a cleanse.

[MILDLY RACIST BUT STILL FUNNY] So Kim jon un and Hitler are having dinner together at hitler's place. So hitler asks for a glass of juice for the two of them, and kim wants to microwave chinese food. Both of their soldiers misinterpret this. The next day 100 jews have died and china doesn't exist anymore.

My friend ""Jesus wasn't that special""... After he said that I say ""but he made thousands of people bread"" He turns back to me and says ""so what, hitler made 6 million Jews toast""