#kim

Lil' Kim implies the existence of a larger Kim

I hope Kim and Kanye surprise everyone and name this next kid something like Bill or Jen

Henry Miller said, "The best way to get over a woman is to turn her into literature." That explains "Kim is a kunt" on this restroom wall.

I once dated a woman named Kim who hated to be called Kimberly. Then I dated a woman named Chelsea who really hated to be called Kimberly

In honor of Kim and Kanye's baby "North West" I will be naming my first son "Taco"

Pharrell Williams put out a fire on Kim Kardashian's dress this week. Dude is really taking that Smokey the Bear hat of his to heart.

If Kim and Kanye name their next kid North West again, we can comfortably refer to the two as One Direction.

Just heard Kim Kardashian's new song. All I'm going to say is that, for as many black dudes as she bangs, I expected more.

Kim on FB needs help deciding if the snot in her kid's nose is from allergies or not. His Dr. says yes, but she really needs your opinion.

Kim Kardashian's birthday is today AND she got engaged to Kanye West! It's almost like it was made for TV! Wait....

This line for the bathroom at Starbucks is longer than kim kardashians whole marriage.

Kim - Where is North West? Kanye - *takes out compass* Kim - I mean my baby! Kanye - I'm right here. Kim - Jesus Kanye! Kanye - Yeezus*

[makes tsk tsk tsk sound with my tongue as wife walks by and sees me looking at the Kim butt pic for the 7th straight day]

sometimes I'm really not sure which KKK is the worst, the racist one, or kim, kourtney & khloe.

I think between the two of them, Kim & Kanye had enough money for a box of condoms.

Kim and Kanye are now planning to have their wedding in Egypt. See Egyptians, things could always be worse.

"If anyone has any reason Kim & Kanye should not be married, speak now or forever hold your peace." -Taylor Swift's moment of revenge

It's Kim Kardashian's birthday. Which begs the question, "What do you get the person who does nothing?"

Joe took his blind date, Kim, to the carnival... ""What would you like to do first, Kim?"" asked Joe. ""I want to get weighed,"" said Kim, and so they ambled over to the 'guess-the-weight' stand. The owner guessed 121 pounds. She got on the scale; it read 117 and she won a prize. Next the couple went on the Ferris wheel. When the ride was over, Joe again asked Kim what she would like to do. ""I want to get weighed,"" she said. And back to the 'guess-the-weight' stand they went. Since they had be…

Racist Kids One day in Ms. J's class, she asked her students to stand up and tell the class what their daddy does, spell it, then say what he would do if he were there in the class today... When the first little girl raises her hand, Ms. J says, ok Kim you first... Kim excitedly says... ""My daddy is a banker, B A N K E R, and if he were here today he would give us all a dollar to invest""... Ms. J says very good thank you Kim. Little Johnny raises his hand next and says ""My daddy is a doctor, …

Kim Jong-il became Kim jong-ded Now Kim Jong-Un with his wife who has vanished from public since 7 months, might be having a Kim Yung-Un

Kim Kardashian's ass is ridiculous He's egotistical too

I slapped Kim Kardashian's ass once I don't like his music.

How do the Kardashians tell a joke? They get Kim to talk slowly to him.

Kim Kardashian goes for cosmetic surgery... So Kim goes to a cosmetic surgeon to get an ol' nip and tuck of her private parts. Getting rid of useless skin that's attached to you is the 'in' thing to do these days, you know (no, I'm not talking about Kayne). Of course, she would like everyone involved in the operation to keep the affair highly confidential and asks the doctors and nurses to maintain complete secrecy. After the procedure, she wakes up in the recovery ward and to her utter shock fi…