Maybe Taylor Swfit dates Justin Bieber and John Mayer dates Selena Gomez and it's like matter/anti-matter and they all explode?#Taylor#Justin Bieber#John Mayer#Selena Gomez0🔗 SharePermalink →
A dashcam video of a cop lip-syncing and dancing to a Taylor Swift song went viral, which is just one more reason to hate the police.#Taylor#Police0🔗 SharePermalink →
Some music just moves you. For example this Taylor Swift song playing on the radio makes me wanna drive off a cliff#Taylor#One-Liner0🔗 SharePermalink →
My daughters weren't paying attention to me, so I told them Taylor Swift died.#Taylor#One-Liner0🔗 SharePermalink →
All across the United States of America, at this very moment, right now.... Kelsey, Madison and Taylor literally can't even.#Kelsey#Madison#Taylor#United States Of America0🔗 SharePermalink →
(At a funeral) Im so sorry for your loss. I know how it feels to lose something you love. Last year Taylor Swift took her music off Spotify.#Taylor#Dark Humor0🔗 SharePermalink →
TAYLOR SWIFT: I knew you were trouble when you walked in ME (wearing ski mask and holding up gun): what gave it away?#Taylor#One-Liner0🔗 SharePermalink →
I wish there was an emotional song about that moment you realize you're almost done with your burrito. Get on that, Taylor Swift.#Taylor0🔗 SharePermalink →
Twilight werewolf Taylor Lautner turns 18 today. That makes him 126 in dog years so, unfortunately, we're going to have to put him to sleep.#Taylor#Animals0🔗 SharePermalink →
Me: Happy Easter! Taylor Swift: I hate Easter! It's all a lie! Me: The Jesus thing? Taylor Swift: Ya... Men don't come back after 3 Days!#Taylor#Jesus Thing#Holiday0🔗 SharePermalink →
Chipotle has been hacked for an hour and hasn't noticed... Taylor Swift was hacked and wrote an album about it 30 seconds after.#Taylor0🔗 SharePermalink →
ME: I'VE BEEN SHOT TAYLOR SWIFT: Aw here are some band aids ME: THOSE DON'T FIX BULLETHOLES TS: *picks up guitar* ...brb ME: I'M STILL DYING#Taylor0🔗 SharePermalink →
Taylor Swift tweeted a picture of her cat watching the Olympics and just as I suspected, Taylor's bedroom looks like a giant doily.#Taylor#Taylors#Animals0🔗 SharePermalink →
30 seconds into Taylor Swifts new song I started hoping Kanye would interrupt her.#Taylor#One-Liner0🔗 SharePermalink →
My relationship status is a Taylor Swift song just waiting to happen.#Taylor#One-Liner0🔗 SharePermalink →
Did you recently date Taylor Swift, only to be dumped and have a song written about you? You may be entitled to compensation. Call now.#Taylor0🔗 SharePermalink →
I don't play fantasy football, but I do play fantasy friendship. This week I'm starting Taylor Swift and Conan O'Brien.#Taylor#Conan Obrien#Sports#One-Liner0🔗 SharePermalink →
I finished a burrito 5 minutes ago and I wish there was more. I now understand every Taylor Swift song.#Taylor#One-Liner0🔗 SharePermalink →
Taylor Swift seems like one of those chicks who thinks it's cute to put her bare feet on the dashboard of a car when riding shotgun.#Taylor#Driving0🔗 SharePermalink →
I can't wait until Taylor Swift breaks up with a black guy so she can put out a rap album.#Taylor#One-Liner0🔗 SharePermalink →
Taylor Swift seems like the kind of chick who'd stare at her boyfriend while he's sleeping.#Taylor#Dating#One-Liner0🔗 SharePermalink →
"I Knew You Were Trouble When You Walked In" is my favorite Taylor Swift song about a racist shop owner.#Taylor#One-Liner0🔗 SharePermalink →
Taylor Swift just waved at a boy and he didn't wave back so now she's got a new album coming out tomorrow.#Taylor#One-Liner0🔗 SharePermalink →
KANYE: I made Taylor Swift famous TRUMP: We should ban all Muslims KANYE: BILL COSBY INNOCENT TRUMP: THE POPE SUCKS KANYE: damn ur good#Taylor#Pope0🔗 SharePermalink →
I wonder if Taylor Swift ever gets one of her songs stuck in her head and also wants to kill herself#Taylor#One-Liner0🔗 SharePermalink →