#laura

It's not called "Laura the Explorer" because if a little white girl gets lost in the woods, CNN shows up with the FBI.

George Bush repeatedly tries to crack a coconut on the side of a hot skillet "Laura, I told you not to buy the god damn hairy eggs anymore"

what if family matters took place today.... urkel would make an app. laura would have a blog. eddie listens to podcasts. carl is on atkins

Send prayers. Laura on Facebook didn't realize she was out of syrup until AFTER the pancakes were made! It's causing quite a stir...

Hi, 911? I see someone from high school in this coffee shop and they're the type to corner & chat me up and I don't know what to do HI LAURA

Joe took his blind date, Kim, to the carnival... ""What would you like to do first, Kim?"" asked Joe. ""I want to get weighed,"" said Kim, and so they ambled over to the 'guess-the-weight' stand. The owner guessed 121 pounds. She got on the scale; it read 117 and she won a prize. Next the couple went on the Ferris wheel. When the ride was over, Joe again asked Kim what she would like to do. ""I want to get weighed,"" she said. And back to the 'guess-the-weight' stand they went. Since they had be…

A great joke for a date (Also, my first post) So a man, Bill takes a young lady, Kelly, on a date. He decides to take her to the carnival. Upon asking what she wants to do, Kelly says, ""I want to get weighed."" A bit confused, the man takes her to the weighing station, where the man gets her weight right on the third guess. Having lost, Bill asks Kelly, ""What do you want to do next?"" to which Kelly replies, ""I want to get weighed."" Bill is confused, and eventually fakes a headache and takes…

The Carnival Date Jesse took his blind date to the carnival. ""What would you like to do first, Amber?"" asked Jesse. ""I want to get weighed,"" replied Amber. They ambled over to the weight guesser. He guessed 120 pounds. She got on the scale; it read 117 and she won a prize. Next, the couple went on the Ferris Wheel. When the ride was over, Jesse again asked Amber what she would like to do. ""I want to get weighed,"" she said. Back to the weight guesser they went. Since they had been there bef…

Wives seem to love this one In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the Mystic delivered grave news: ""There's no easy way to tell you this, so I'll just be blunt. Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year."" Visibly shaken, Laura stared at the woman's lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself and to stop her mind racing. She simply had to know. She met …

So Bush is elected President... ...and he decides to give Clinton a visit at the White House. So they're having drinks after dinner, conversation flowing, when Bush needs to relieve himself. He asks Bill where the urinals were, and Bill points him down a corridor, third door to the right. He notices that the urinal was golden - but assumes he was sent to a special bathroom, possibly for visiting dignitaries. Anyway, on their way home, he happens to mention this to Laura. She doesn't think it's a…

Blind date Joe took his blind date to the carnival. "What would you like to do first, Kim?" asked Joe. "I want to get weighed," she said. They walked over to the weight guesser, and he guessed 120 pounds. She got on the scale. It read 117, so she won a prize. The couple then went on the Ferris wheel. When the ride was over, Joe again asked Kim what she would like to do. "I want to get weighed," she said. Since they had been there before, the weight guesser guessed her correct weight, and Joe lo…

How famous is Colin? Colin was bragging to his friend, Laura, one day, “You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them.” Tired of his boasting, Laura called his bluff, “OK, Colin how about Tom Cruise?” “Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it.” So Colin and Laura fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise’s door and sure enough, Tom Cruise shouts, “Colin! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!” Alt…

Joe took his date, Kerri, to the carnival... Joe, using one of those online matchmaker services, get's a date with Kerri. Joe decides to take Kerri to the carnival. As they walk down the midway, he asks "What would you like to do first, Kerri?" "I want to get weighed," she said. They ambled over to the weight guesser. He guessed 130 pounds. She got on the scale; it read 110 and she won a prize. Ambling along the midway again, Joe asked if she'd like to ride the Ferris Wheel or the Roller…

I have two tickets to the 2017 Superbowl, but I'm getting married that day so I can't go. If you're interested in going in my place, the wedding is at St. Peter's church and her name is Laura.

Blind Date Joe took his blind date to the carnival. "What would you like to do first, ?" asked Joe. "I want to get weighed," she said. They walked over to the weight guesser, and he guessed 120 pounds. She got on the scale. It read 117, so she won a prize. The couple then went on the Ferris wheel. When the ride was over, Joe asked again what Kim would like to do. "I want to get weighed," she said. Since they had been there before, the weight guesser guessed her weight correctly, and Joe lo…

Joe took his blind date to the carnival. "What would you like to do first, Kim?" asked Joe. "I want to get weighed," she said. They ambled over to the weight guesser. He guessed 120 pounds. She got on the scale; it read 117 and she won a prize. Next the couple went on the ferris wheel. When the ride was over, Joe again asked Kim what she would like to do. "I want to get weighed," she said. Back to the weight guesser they went. Since they had been there before, he guessed her correct weight, and…

Laura Bush said to Dubya: "We have the weekend free, darling. What would you like to do?" "Well now," he said. "Let's think . . ." "No," said Laura. "Let's do something you can do, too." Bush said he is leaving Washington with his head held high, because it is the best way to spot shoes that are coming at you. Jay Leno

A guy goes over to his friend's house, rings the bell, and the wife answers. "Hi, is Hank home?" he asks. "No, I'm sorry, he's out running some errands," she replies. "Would you mind if I wait?" he asks. "No, that would be fine. Come on in," she says. They go into the kitchen, sit down, and the guy says, "You know, Laura, you have the most beautiful breasts I've ever seen. I'll give you a hundred dollars if I could just see one." Laura thinks about it for a second and figures what the heck. She …

Laura fell for her handsome new dentist like a ton of bricks and pretty soon had lured him into a series of passionate encounters in the dental clinic after hours. But one day he said sadly, "Laura, honey, we have to stop seeing each other. Your husband's bound to get suspicious." "No way, sweetie, he's dumb as a post," she assured him. "Besides, we've been screwing for six months now and he doesn't suspect a thing." "True," agreed the dentist, "but you're down to one tooth!"