#eddie

what if family matters took place today.... urkel would make an app. laura would have a blog. eddie listens to podcasts. carl is on atkins

I bought one follower just to see what it was like and he showed up at my job and his name is Eddie and he's kind of freaking me out guys.

A woman sees an ad for labioplasty in the paper... ... So she she decides to get the operation, so her husband can enjoy the tightness of her youth. After the operation, she wakes up with three roses on her chest. Curious, she asks the nurse, ""who are the roses from?"" ""Well,"" says the nurse, ""The first rose is from your husband. He wanted to thank you for undergoing the operation, and he said he's looking forward to enjoying the results."" ""and the second rose?"" asks the woman. ""That's f…

The simple rules of dating A farmer, Bill, finds out that his three daughters all have dates on the same night. Being protective, as a father is of his girls, he does the respectable thing, and walks to the door each time with his shotgun. At 7pm, the doorbell rings. Bill answers the door and asks the boy there what he wants. The boy nervously says ""Hello sir, I'm Eddie. I've come to get Betty. We're going out for spaghetti. Is she ready?"" Bill decides this boy has good intentions and lets Bet…

So my friend Eddie Wong was trying to build a homemade aeroplane... ...and he told me he was going to ask his brother for help. I told him,""That'll never work. Ask Phil instead."" ""Why?"" ""You see Eddie, two Wongs can never make a Wright.""

Jimmy Little Jimmy was on the playground during recess one day. He had just started kindergarten a few months ago. Jimmy was a good kid and the kind of student any teacher would love to have since he was always trying to learn new things. He always took his parents' advice to learn one new thing every day and today was no different from any other. Little Jimmy was quietly playing in the sand by himself when one of the bigger kids, the size of a fifth grader, stomped up and pushed him to the grou…

So the farmer has three daughters who are about to go on their first dates. And so he invites their dates to his home, where he waited at the door with a shotgun. When the first guy knocked on the door, the farmer opens it and the guy says, ""Hi, my name is Joe, I'm here for Flo. We're going to a show. Is she ready to go?"" The farmer thinks for a bit, then he lets them go. When the second guy knocked on the door, the farmer opens it and the guy says, ""Hi, my name is Eddie, I'm here for Betty. …

What did Mike Meyers say to Eddie Murphy after Eddie bought him a brand new Mercedes? ""DANKE!""

There once was a farmer who was raising 3 daughters on his own. He was very concerned about their well being and always did his best to watch out for them. As they entered their late teens the girls dated, and on this particular evening all three of his girls were going out on a date. This was the first time this had occurred. As was his custom, he would greet the young suitor at the door holding his shotgun, not to menace or threaten but merely to ensure that the young man knew who was boss. Th…

The farmer and his 3 daughters There was this farmer that was really protective of his three daughters. In fact, he always met their boyfriends at the door with a shotgun. At 5:30 Friday night, there was a knock at the door. The farmer answered it with his gun. The guy at the door said, ""Hello, my name is Eddie, I'm here for Bettie, we're going for spaghetti. Is she ready?"". The farmer paused, then said ""Ok, she's ready"" . Another half hour passed and there was another knock. The farmer answ…

The Eddie Izzard Diabetic Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-CAKRDTH

Entered a relay race with two of my friends Me and two friends of mine, Ian Sloane and David Eddie entered a relay race. We set up so I would start, Ian would go next and David would finish. So we set up, and I took my position. ""On your marks, get set, GO!"" I wasn't a great runner and the rest of the athletes just left me in the dust. I passed the baton to Ian Sloane and he took off. He was as fast as lightning and overtook all the athletes with ease. He then passed it over to David Eddie who…

The farmer's daughters A farmer's three daughters are going on a date the same night. Being the protective father that he is, the father insisted that he meet all three of his daughter's dates before sending them off. The first guy shows up and the farmer answers the door, brandishing his shotgun. ""H-hi sir, my name's Joe, I'm taking your daughter to the show, and I'll get her when she's good to go"". Satisfied, the farmer lets his oldest daughter go. The next guy arrives, and again the farmer …

A favorite of mine - was reminded of this by the bull in the bull-fight jumping into the crowd... So Eddie goes to Spain as a tourist for his vacation, with grand plans of seeing the bull-fights, going to the Alhambra, and seeing some of the famous architecture. On one of his first days in Barcelona, he goes to El Plaza De Toros, to see a bullfight. He is swept up in the obscene madness of the crowd and has a fantastic time. He's buzzing so much from the fight he's seen that he decides to have d…

The farmers daughters THE FARMER'S DAUGHTERS PreviousNextThere once was a farmer who was raising 3 daughters on his own. He was very concerned about their well being and always did his best to watch out for them. As they entered their late teens the girls dated, and on this particular evening all three of his girls were going out on a date. This was the first time this had occurred. As was his custom, he would greet the young suitor at the door holding his shotgun, not to menace or threaten but …

Eddie Murphy's joke: the bear and the rabbit A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods. Bear turns to the rabbit and says, ""Excuse me, do you have problems with shit sticking to your fur?"" The rabbit says, ""No."" So the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit. (original) --> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jORyfjHx5iY

Eddie was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him ""Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 4 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE"". The next morning Eddie got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a small box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the h…

Last night, Eddie the Egg was arrested by police and taken to headquarters for questioning. He's considered to be the prime suspect in the brutal beating of another egg at the farmer's market. The other egg is expected to live, but he's in a coma as his brains have been irreversibly scrambled. At headquarters, the police could not get a confession out of Eddie. They tried putting him in a chair under a hot light. All they accomplished was getting Eddie really boiled-up and rolling all over the p…

Eddie's father called up to him 'Eddie if you don't stop playing that trumpet I think I'll go crazy!' Eddy replied 'I think you are already I stopped playing half an hour ago.'

This used to be my mother's favorite joke, maybe still is. A farmer has three daughters who all have a date on the same night. The first guy comes to pick up his date and says "Hi, I'm Joe. I came to get Flo. We're gonna go to the show, can she go?" The farmer calls Flo down and they leave. The second guy shows up: "Hi, I'm Eddie. I came to get Betty. We're gonna go get spaghetti, is she ready?" the farmer calls Betty down and they go. The third guy shows up: "I'm Chuck. I came in my truc…

The Farmer's Daughters Farmer Brown had 3 lovely daughters. The daughters announce to their father they are going out on dates that night. Farmer Brown agrees under the condition that he gets to talk to each of the young men first. The first young man knocks on the door and Farmer Brown answers the door with his shotgun and says, "What is your business young man?" to which the young man replies, "My name is Eddie, I'm her for Betty, we're going to have spaghetti, is she ready?" The farmer decid…

There was an old farmer with three beautiful daughters... They each had a date, so on the porch he would wait to ask the men some questions. With his shotgun nearby up came the first guy and introduced himself to the farmer. "Hello, my name is Joe, I'm here for Flo to see a show, is she ready to go?" The farmer gave a sigh and waved goodbye as the second date had arrived. "My name is Eddie, I'm here for Betty to go eat spaghetti, is she ready?" With another sigh he waved goodbye …

A farmer had 3 beautiful daughters who were getting ready to go out on dates.......... A farmer had 3 beautiful daughters who were getting ready to go out on dates. The first beau came to the door and said, "I'm Eddie, I'm here to pick up Betty. We're going for spaghetti, is she ready?" No. The second beau came to the door and said, "I'm Joe, I'm here to pick up Flo to take her to the show. Is she ready to go?" No. The third beau came to the door and said to the farmer. "Hello, my name is Chuck…

A farmer had 3 beautiful daughters who were getting ready to go out on dates. The first beau came to the door and said, "I'm Eddie, I'm here to pick up Betty. We're going for spaghetti, is she ready?" No. The second beau came to the door and said, "I'm Joe, I'm here to pick up Flo to take her to the show. Is she ready to go?" No. The third beau came to the door and said to the farmer. "Hello, my name is Chuck." The farmer shot Chuck.

There once was a farmer who was raising three daughters on his own. He was very concerned about their well being and always did his best to watch out for them. As they entered the late teens, the girls dated, and on this particular evening all three of his girls were going out on a date. This was the first time this had occurred. As was his custom, he would greet the young suitor at the door holding his shotgun, not to menace or threaten but merely to ensure that the young man knew who was boss.…