#amber

If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U & I and your hot friend Amber together.

[first date] "So... you didn't mention that you're trapped in 230 million year old amber." [my motionless eyes glint within my golden shell]

(I get an amber alert for a missing child) OK its my time to shine (I get in my car and back out without looking and instantly hit the kid)

Anyone realize Dora is always lost every episode? Why is their no Amber alert for her? Is it because she's Mexican?

If I ever need an amber lamps really quickly... I'm going to call a tow truck instead.

An old blonde joke I was told years ago. A blond driving down a rural road sees a wheat field and notices something strange, another blonde that appears to be swimming. She pulls over, stands at the field and yells, ""Excuse me what are you doing?"". The other one replies, ""I heard about the these amber waves of grain in a song and wanted to see if they were like ocean waves"". The one blond shakes her head angrily, ""I should whip your ass!"". The blonde in the field says, ""Excuse me?"". ""Yo…

Once Upon a Time, God Created Scotland... When God created Scotland, He looked down on it with great joy. Unable to contain his pride for his newest creation, he summoned all of his Archangels to show them. 'Look here,"" said God. ""This is the best and most beautiful country yet. Picturesque mountains, beautiful scenery, brave men, honest and stunning women and a biting and refreshing temperature."" ""And look,"" he said, producing a bottle of amber coloured liquid from behind his back, ""I've …

The Carnival Date Jesse took his blind date to the carnival. ""What would you like to do first, Amber?"" asked Jesse. ""I want to get weighed,"" replied Amber. They ambled over to the weight guesser. He guessed 120 pounds. She got on the scale; it read 117 and she won a prize. Next, the couple went on the Ferris Wheel. When the ride was over, Jesse again asked Amber what she would like to do. ""I want to get weighed,"" she said. Back to the weight guesser they went. Since they had been there bef…

Three learned gentlemen are discussing 'savoir faire'...(joke full of fuffery, told to me by a man who wore a fez all the time) The first one takes a healthy belt of his brandy, leans back in his leather chair and says, ""Mes amis! Savoir faire is something one does not learn easily. No sir! For example, a husband comes home earlier than he planned to. He opens the door and sees another man's coat hanging on the rack. Without a word, he heads out to the local bar and has a smoke and a drink and …

Amber Heard's net worth is $2.5 million and she now has to pay Johnny Depp $15 million... Yeah, she's forever going to be in Depp!

what is Amber Heard's favorite board game? **SCATAGORIE**

What pronouns do Amber Heard’s lawyers prefer? Hear/say

C'mon guys don't make fun of Amber Heard's lawyer He probably gets enough abuse from her as it is