#first-son

In honor of Kim and Kanye's baby "North West" I will be naming my first son "Taco"

i named my first son "christian" and i named his twin brother "born-again christian"

A man's wife gave birth to his first son. After the delivery, the nurse comes out to him. Nurse: Congratulations! Its a boy! New Dad: I'm so excited! Im going to be the best dad ever! Nurse: that's great to hear.. Unfortunately, i have some bad news. Your son was born with no limbs.. Just the body and a head. New Dad: WTF?!......... DOESNT MATTER! Im still going to take care of him. Nurse: you should've let me finish.. i have some more news about your son. New Dad: Nurse: actually the body is al…

So I caught up with my mexican friend ..He told me that his wife give birth to their first son, just the other day. I said ""Jesus really?!"" He replied with ""Nah, his name's Jose.""

A priest and his 3 sons. A priest comes home to his 3 sons. He asks the first son ""Son, have you sinned today?"" The son says ""Yes Father I hit someone"" The priest says ""Go drink from the Holy Water."" He asks the second son if he has sinned, the second son responds ""Yes father I swore"" The priest says "" Go drink from the Holy Water."" The priest asks the final son, ""Son, have you sinned today?"" The boy says "" Yes I pissed in the Holy Water."" *If this has been posted before, sorry*

Choose a special gift for Mother's day Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. They discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother. The first son said: "" I built a big house for our mother"" The second son said: "" I sent Mom a Mercedes with a driver."" The third son said: "" You remember how our mother enjoys reading the Bible. Now she can't see very well. So I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. The Elders at the church spent twelve …

A father puts a gold watch in one son's stocking and a pile of manure in the other son's... The first son brings the watch to his father and with a worried face says, "dad I'm not sure what to do with this watch, it's fragile, and small, and I don't really wear watches. I don't like it." The father wasn't surprised by his son's reaction because he typically has a poor perspective on things. Minutes later, the second son, who had a stocking full of manure, comes running to his father with e…

An old man is on his death bed and calls all his family and the priest. He says to his first son "I want you to have all the property in the north of the town, I have 16 houses there." He says to his second son "I want you to have all my commercial property, 8 businesses." He says to his third son "I want you to have the houses in the southern district, there are only 4, but they are expensive and lucrative." The old man passes away and the priest says "That is unbelievable, he must have…

Retirement Home A woman moves to a retirement home. Her sons each decide to give her a nice gift as a token of their gratitude. “I will buy a Ferrari for mom,” the oldest says, “at least half a million dollars worth, so she can enjoy a nice drive.” “I'll buy her a luxurious villa with a downstairs sleep and bath room,” says the second, “that way she can live independently again.” “I am buying her a million-dollar parrot,” the third one says, “unique in its kind, one that can talk like the be…

I named my first son Ready On his first birthday

""My first son has a PHD in arts my daughter has two degrees in communication and jornalism and my youngest son is a burglar.""

A father puts a gold watch in one son's stocking and a pile of manure in the other son's... The first son brings the watch to his father and with a worried face says

"My first son has a PHD in arts, my daughter has two degrees in communication and jornalism and my youngest son is a burglar." Friend: "Wow a burglar? You should kick him out!" Dad: "Nah... he is the only one who makes money."

A married couple were celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. Their three sons, all extremely successful and wealthy, agreed to a Sunday lunch to mark the occasion, but as usual they were all late and came up with a variety of excuses. The first son turned up fifteen minutes late. "Happy anniversary," he said. "Sorry I'm a bit late. I had a flat tyre this morning and as a result I'm afraid I haven't had time to get you a present." "Not to worry," said the father. "The important thing is th…