#ferrari

Lincoln was known for his signature look; stovepipe hat, chinstrap beard, fingerless driving gloves, Jordans, shirt with Ferrari logo on it

Someone told me they dont get tattoos cuz "you dont put bumper stickers on a Ferrari" which was weird bc he was a 92 Chevy caprice at best

Everyday I walk to work by a Ferrari dealership, put my nose against the etched glass window and say, "someday I'll own a window this nice."

Using a phone case is like buying a Ferrari and gluing Corolla body panels to it.

date: so wat do u wana do next me: why dont we slip into somthing more...convertible [climbs into ferrari] date: omg wow is this ur car me: no

Finding a date on the internet is so much easier than real life because how are they supposed to know that's not your Ferrari?

An expensive car A hip young man goes out and buys the best car available: a brand-new Ferrari 550. It is also the most expensive car in the world, and it costs him $500,000.He takes it out for a spin and stops for a red light. An old man (about 75 years old) on a moped pulls up next to him. The old man looks over at the sleek, shiny new car and asks, ""What kind of car ya got there, sonny?"" The young man replies, ""A Ferrari 550. It cost half a million dollars!"" ""That's a lot of money,"" say…

Inner city youths After seeing a documentary on how inner city youths can remove the wheels of a car in under 4 seconds with no specialist equipment, the Mc Laren team decided to fire their pit crew and hire four of the inner city youths as most races could be won or lost in the pits. the first race came along and the car came into the pits. The youths went to work but the Mc Laren team boss noticed a real problem. Not only had the youths replaced all four wheels within 4 seconds, but within 10 …

3 Men die and go to heaven... 3 men die and go to heaven and when they arrive at the gates St. Peter says to them, ""Welcome to the road to heaven. You must travel down this road behind me to reach Heaven, however, the medium of transportation is dependent on how faithful you were to your spouse during your lifetime."" First man steps up and St. Peter says, ""Ok Shawn it says here you have been completely faithful. As promised here is your vehicle a Ferrari f430."" Shawn grabs the keys and takes…

Troll Joke So there is a kid named James who's mom died when he was very young. However, his dad was extremely wealthy. So for his sixth birthday, his dad ask James what he wants. James replies, ""I just really want a pink ping pong ball."" This annoys James' dad, as he hardly sees it as a fitting birthday gift for his son. So his dad says ""NO, JAMES! That is hardly a good gift for my son."" So he goes out and buys James the coolestq new action figures. James loves them, and his action figures …

This one I heard when I was in 8th grade. it's pretty darn funny. Three men die in a car accident and go to heaven. They walk up to Satin Peter. Peter looks at them and says ""Now,Let me explain how things around here in heaven work; You all will have a car based on how many times you cheated on your wife."" He looks to the first man ""How many times did you cheat on your wife?"" The first man replies,""None sir,I was faithful til the end."" ""Okay,You get this car."" Saint Peter gives him a bra…

The ostrich A man and an ostrich pull up to a main-street pub in a brand-new ferrari. They park up and enter the bar. The man says to the bartender, ""Lemme get a cheeseburger, some chips, and a pint of lager."" The ostrich leans forward and says, ""I'll have the same."" They finish eating and receive the bill, $15.35. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a ten-dollar bill, a five-dollar bill, a quarter and a dime. He reaches into the other pocket and pulls out exactly one dollar and fi…

Italian Pregnancy An 18 year old Italian girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for 2 months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit The test result shows that the girl is pregnant. Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, 'Who wasa the pig that did this to you? I want to know!' The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later, a Ferrari stops in front of their house. A mature and distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dress…

Bill and Ted were at a bar... Bill asked, ""Hey where's Dave? Why isn't he here tonight?"" ""Dave is dead,"" said Ted. ""How?"" Ted said, ""Well, he was supposed to pick me up, but when he got to my house, he hit my Ferrari in the driveway, flew through his own windshield, and crashed through my kitchen window."" ""What a terrible way to die!"" ""Well, no, that didn't kill him. He tried to get up off of my kitchen floor, and he grabbed the handle of my refrigerator door for balance, but the frid…

The Old Man And The Ferrari An elderly man on a Moped, looking about 100 years old, pulls up next to a doctor at a street light. The old man looks over at the sleek shiny car and asks, What kind of car ya got there, sonny ?' The doctor replies, A Ferrari F-430. With Options, it cost half a million dollars!' That's a lot of money,' says the old man. Why does it cost so much?' Because this car can do up to 320 miles an hour !' states the doctor proudly. The Moped driver asks, Mind if I take a look…

A blonde is in need of money. The blonde decides to go to a rich neighborhood and do tasks for money. She arrives at a house and rings the doorbell. A man comes out and the blonde says, ""Are there any jobs I can do?"" The man replies with, ""Can you paint my porch for me? I'll pay you $50."" The blonde agrees and gets to work. The man thinks it should take an hour or two due to the fact he has a large porch. After about 20 minutes, the blonde finishes. Impressed, the man hands her $50. However …

A Saudi Arabian Oil Baron sends his son to study abroad... To help his son in his life and studies abroad, he gives his son a good deal of money and more importantly, a Ferrari sportscar, as he though it might be a good idea to flaunt some wealth. Despite this, a few weeks later his son calls him and laments ""Dad, every time I go to lectures, I drive there with my Ferrari, but everyone else there takes the train, its really awkward as I'm the only guy with a car!"" Incensed, the Oil Baron pract…

For $1,500,000, a hot young movie producer buys himself a brand-new 2011 Ferrari GTS. It's the most expensive car in the world, and he wants to show it off, so he takes it out for a spin. At the first light, an ancient Moped pulls up next to him. The elderly cyclist stares at the sleek, shiny surface of the automobile and asks, ""What kinda wheels ya got there, sonny?"" The young man replies, ""A Ferrari. They go for about a million and a half."" The old guy is shocked: ""That's a lot of moolah.…

A man goes to buy a Ferrari... but he was short of $1. He saw a homeless man and said ""Can you give me a dollar, I have to buy a Ferrari."" The homeless man gave him two dollars and said ""Get one for me too.""

3 Guys Die And Go To The Pearly Gates St. Peter was waiting for them at the gate and said, ""However faithful you were to your wife, that will determine the vehicle you will get in heaven"" as he pointed to another shining gate many miles in the distance. The first guy comes up to the gate and says, ""I never, ever cheated on my wife; she was the love of my life and I told her every day. "". St. Peter smiled and handed him the keys to a brand spanking new Ferrari. The next man stepped forward an…

A lawyer goes to the bar and finds that there's something funny about his bottle. He looks inside and cannot believe his eyes. Suddenly a genie pops out. ""aah"" says the genie ""that was a really good nap"" So the lawyer asks him if he's the magical sort of genie who gives out wishes. The genie explains that indeed he is but with a catch: whatever the lawyer asks for, every other lawyer in the world gets double of. The lawyer, being the selfish fellow he is, almost leaves without making any wis…

3 men are in line to get into heaven St. Peter is waiting at the gates of heaven and calls the first man up. Peter says, ""You never cheated on your wife! I'm going to let you drive around heaven in a Ferrari!"" So he gets in the car and drives off through the gates. Peter then called 2nd man up. Peter says, ""Oh no, looks like you cheated on your wife TWICE! You are going to drive around heaven in an Accord!"" He gets into his car and drives through the gates. Peter calls the third man up and s…

A man found a magical bottle on a beach... He rubbed it and, sure enough, out popped a Genie. ""I will grant you three wishes,"" said the Genie. ""But there's a catch."" The man was ecstatic. ""What catch?"" he asked. The Genie replied, ""Every time you make a wish, every lawyer in the world will receive DOUBLE what you asked for."" ""Well, I can live with that! No problem!"" replied the elated man. ""What is your first wish?"" asked the Genie. ""Well, I've always wanted a Ferrari! "" POOF! A Fe…

Do you smoke? Lady : Do you smoke ? Man : Yes Lady : How many packs a day ? Man : 3 packs Lady : How much per pack Man : $10.00 Lady : And how long have you been smoking ? Man : 15 years Lady : So 1 pack cost $10.00 and you have 3 packs a day which puts your spending each month at $900. In one year, it would be$10,800 correct ? Man : Correct Lady : If in 1 year you spend $10,800 not accounting for inflation, the past 15 years puts your spending at $162,000 correct ? Man : Correct Lady : Do you k…

Critical Thinking Critical Thinking At Its Best! Woman: Do you drink beer? Man: Yes Woman: How many beers a day? Man: Usually about 3 Woman: How much do you pay per beer? Man: $5.00 which includes a tip (This is where it gets scary !) Woman: And how long have you been drinking? Man: About 20 years, I suppose Woman: So a beer costs $5.00 and you have 3 beers a day which puts your spending each month at $450.00. In one year,it would be approximately $5400.00 correct? Man: Correct Woman: If in 1 ye…