This one I heard when I was in 8th grade. it's pretty darn funny. Three men die in a car accident and go to heaven. They walk up to Satin Peter. Peter looks at them and says ""Now,Let me explain how things around here in heaven work; You all will have a car based on how many times you cheated on your wife."" He looks to the first man ""How many times did you cheat on your wife?"" The first man replies,""None sir,I was faithful til the end."" ""Okay,You get this car."" Saint Peter gives him a brand new golden ferrari. Peter says to the second man ""How many times did you cheat on your wife?"" The man replies ""About five times."" Saint Peter says ""Okay here's your car."" He gives the second man a fairly new Lexus. Finally,Saint Peter asks the third man; ""How many times did you cheat on your wife?"" He replies ""About 10 times."" Saint peter says ""okay,Here is your car."" The man gets an old beat up car that barely runs. So after that,The men go driving around heaven. They stop at a gas station to fill up. The second and third man go to the urinals while the first man pumps gas. The second man comes out and sees the first man crying. he walks up to him and says ""What's wrong?"" The first man explains ""I just saw my wife hitch hiking.""