The ostrich A man and an ostrich pull up to a main-street pub in a brand-new ferrari. They park up and enter the bar. The man says to the bartender, ""Lemme get a cheeseburger, some chips, and a pint of lager."" The ostrich leans forward and says, ""I'll have the same."" They finish eating and receive the bill, $15.35. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a ten-dollar bill, a five-dollar bill, a quarter and a dime. He reaches into the other pocket and pulls out exactly one dollar and fifty-four cents, for the tip. The man and the ostrich do this all week, but then on friday, they order steaks and sweet-potato fries, and drink merlot instead. This time, the bill come out to $25.68. Once again, the man reaches into his pocket, pulling out exact change from one, and $2.57 from the other. Before leaving, the bartender stops the two and asks, ""Hey, what's the deal with the talking ostrich? And how do you always manage to pull exact change from your pockets without even counting coins?"" ""Well,"" the man explains, ""Years ago when I was stationed in northern Africa, I met the Genie of the Lamp. He granted me 3 wishes. First, I wished for the ferrari you see outside. Second, I wished that, no matter what I wanted to buy, upon receiving the bill, I'd pull that exact amount, plus taxes and gratuities, from my pockets. "" ""What about the bird?"" asks the bartender. The man lets out a grunt and explains, ""Well, my 3rd wish was for a tall bird with a big butt who'd always agree with me. Careful what you wish for.""