#ferrari

An old lady decides to check on his 3 son-in-laws She wanted to see who respects/cares for her the most. She goes to the lake near the eldest son-in-laws place and jumps. The son-in-law dives in and rescues her. Next day, he sees a toyota corolla parked in front of his house with a letter -- Thanks from your Mother-in-law. Then she goes to her second son-in-law places and jumps in a lake near his house. The second son-in-law also saves her. Next day he too gets a toyota corolla as a gift with…

A rich man needs a blood transfusion A rich man goes to the doctor and the doctor says he needs a blood transfusion. So the rich man goes to work the next day and tells his Jewish employee & close friend the news. Since they have been very close friends for a long time, the Jewish guy offers him some of his own blood. Right after the transfusion, the rich man goes out and buys his Jewish friend a brand new Ferrari. "My dear friend, you've kept me alive & well, please take this gift from me." T…

Karma hits you in the face Three women dies for some unknown reason, they dont know each other. We can call them Sara, Jenna and Robyn. Before they can enter heaven, they needed to answer a simple question asked by God. Sara was the first in line, God asked her: How many times have you cheated? Sara looked at God and answers: I've cheated 4 times. God Answers: Here in heaven you get to drive a Volvo from year 92. Sara jumps in the car and drove away. Next up was Jenna. God asked her: Ho…

Officer couldn't believe his eyes. A man was driving along in his beat up old dodge, when suddenly it broke down. He was parked on the side of the road trying fix it, when a Jaguar pulled up in front of him and offered to help. After a few minutes the two men obviously weren't going to get the old car going again, so the Jaguar driver offered to tow the Dodge to the nearest garage. A few minutes later the two had hitched up the old Dodge to the Jaguar, and they agreed that if the Jaguar driver…

Little Johnny...again. A teacher asks her class, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Little Johnny says "I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day". The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give imp…

Woman: Do you drink beer? Man: Yes... Woman: How many beers a day? Man: Usually about 3 Woman: How much do you pay per beer? Man: $5.00 which includes a tip Woman: And how long have you been drinking? Man: About 20 years, I suppose Woman: So a beer costs $5 and you have 3 beers a day which puts your spending each month at $450. In one year, it would be approximately $5400 …correct? Man: Correct Woman: If in 1 year you spend $5400, not accounting for inflation, the past 20 years puts you…

A genie gives a man three wishes... One day a man was waking along the beach when he tripped over a lamp. He turned around and kicked the lamp out of anger. A few seconds later, a genie popped out of the lamp. Reluctantly, the genie said, "Even though you kicked me, I still have to give you three wishes. However, because of what you did, I will also give twice what you wish for to the person you hate the most: your boss." So the man agreed and made his first wish. "I want lots of money", he s…

Three men die in a car crash They find themselves at the gates of Heaven. Saint Peter approaches them, saying "Okay, you'll get a vehicle for getting around Heaven depending on your faithfulness to your spouse". The first man says "I never cheated on my wife, and I love her". He gets a Ferrari. The second man says "I cheated on my wife once, but I still love her". He gets a horse. The third man says "I cheated on my wife a couple times, but I still love her". He gets a scooter. Soon after b…

Its a longy but a goody A young investment banker goes out and buys the car of his dreams - a brand new Ferrari GTO. After paying $500,000, he takes it out for a spin and stops at a red light. While waiting for the light to change, an frail looking old man on a yellow moped pulls up next to him. The old man looks over at the Ferrari and asks, "What kind of car ya' got there, Sonny?" The young man replies, "A Ferrari GTO. It cost half a million dollars!" "Wheeewee... that's a lot of money," says…

So a guy walks into a bank in Manhattan and asks for the loan officer The loan officer comes over immediately. “How can I help you, sir?” he asks. “I’m going out of town on business for two weeks and need to borrow $5,000,” the man answers. The loan officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan. So, the man holds out his hand and opens his palm, saying, “These are the keys to my car, which is sitting out front.” “Here are the documents, as well,” he says as h…

Male logic. Another joke from an 83 year old dad. This is a conversation between a man and his new girlfriend. Please note that she asks 5 or 6 questions, which he answered quite simply. She is speechless after answering only one question. Critical Thinking At Its Very Best!: Woman: Do you drink beer? Man: Yes. Woman: How many beers a day? Man: Usually about 3. Woman: How much do you pay per beer? Man: $5.00 which includes a tip (This is where it gets scary!). …

A lawyer goes to the bar and finds that there's something funny about his bottle. He looks inside and cannot believe his eyes. Suddenly a genie pops out. "aah" says the genie "that was a really good nap" So the lawyer asks him if he's the magical sort of genie who gives out wishes. The genie explains that indeed he is but with a catch: whatever the lawyer asks for, every other lawyer in the world gets double of. The lawyer, being the selfish fellow he is, almost leaves without making …

Scooter a man in a ferrari stops at a red light next to old guy on a scooter. he rolls down the window and says "this car can do 0.to.100 mph in less than the time your scooter starts to move..." The old man nods in agreement and asks to peek in. The man let's him look in ... the old man is visibly impressed. The light turns green and Mr Ferrari floors it to the next traffic light. As he slows down for the next stop he glances in the rear view mirror and sees the old man as a speck in the di…

Money makes every thing... A girl missed her period 2 months ago,her mom took her to the clinic for pregnancy test of which it was positive.Embarrased, her mom said; who is the pig that got you pregnant? The girl picked up her phone and made a call, an hour later,a young handsome man drove in Ferrari to the girl's house. Good evening, the man greeted. Your daughter told me the problem in the house. I can't marry for now because of my family issue, but I promise I will take care of her for the r…

One day, the wife comes home with a spectacular diamond ring "Where did you get that ring?" her husband asks. "Well," she replies, "my boss and I played the lotto and we won, so I bought it with my share of the winnings." A week later, his wife comes home with a long shiny fur coat. "Where did you get that coat?" her husband asks. She replies, "My boss and I played the lotto and we won again, so I bought it with my share of the winnings." Another week later, his wife comes home, driving in a re…

A Man and a Genie One day a man was waking along the beach when he tripped over a lamp. He turned around and kicked the lamp out of anger. A few seconds later, a genie popped out of the lamp. Reluctantly, the genie said, "Even though you kicked me, I still have to give you three wishes. However, because of what you did, I will also give twice what you wish for to the person you hate the most: your boss." So the man agreed and made his first wish. "I want lots of money", he said. Instantly…

A german, italian, and american chat in a bar.. A German, an Italian, and an American chat in a bar. The German says: "my wife goes 0 to 100 in 7 seconds!" "How so?" replies the Italian. "I bought her a Porsche" replies the German. "bah! my wife goes 0 to 100 in 5 seconds!!" the Italian states. "really?? how?" asks the German. "I bought her a Ferrari!!" smirks the Italian. "my wife goes 0-100 in 2 seconds" replies the American. "impossible!! how???" both say the German and Ital…

A son arrives at his new school in Berlin. He writes a letter to his dad, it reads: Dear Dad, Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here. But Dad, I am a bit ashamed to arrive at my own college with my pure-gold Ferrari 599GTB when all my teachers and many fellow students travel by train Your son, Ahmed The father responds: My dear loving son, 20 million US Dollars have hust been transferred to your account. Please stop embarrassing us. Go and get yourself a train too…

Do You Drink Beer? Lady: Do you drink beer? Man: Yes. Lady: How many beers a day? Man: Usually about 3. Lady: How much do you pay per beer? Man: $5 with a tip. Lady: And how long have you been drinking? Man: 20 years, I suppose. Lady: So a beer costs $5 and you have 3 beers a day which puts your spending each month at $450. In one year, it would be $5400 correct? Man: Correct. Lady: If in 1 year you spend $5400, not accounting for inflation, the past 20 years puts your spend…

Housemaid demands a raise from the lady of the house Lady: So, what do you have in mind? Maid: I would like to have a ferrari, no? Lady: Why in the 7 hells do you think you deserve that?!? Maid: See, I cook way better than you Lady: Says who? Maid: Your husband! Also I do laundry better than you Lady: And why do you think so? Maid: Your Husband said it, Also I´m much better in bed than you are. Lady: DOES MY HUSBAND ALSO SAID THAT??! Maid: No Miss, but the gardener Lady: ...Red or Yel…

A snail wants a Ferrari... A snail goes to the Ferrari dealership and says, "I want the fastest, flashiest car you have." The salesman shows him the top of the range giant throbbing red beast and says "This one will do 260kmh and 0-100 in three seconds. The snail says, "I'll take it, but I want a giant letter S painted on each side." "We can do that for you no problem, but do you mind me asking why?" "I want people to see me whizz past and say, 'Wow, look at that S car go.'"

A blonde walks in a bank to get a loan. “I need to borrow $100 for a month,” she says. The banker frowns, but takes her information anyway. He runs her credit but can’t find a report. “I’m sorry,” he says, “but in the absence of a credit record, we’ll have to charge 20% interest on the loan, and you’ll need to put up collateral. “What does that mean?” the blonde says. “It means,” the banker says, “you’ll have to repay us $120, and you’ll need to give us something more valuable to hold onto un…

Angry One day a man was waking along the beach when he tripped over a lamp. He turned around and kicked the lamp out of anger. A few seconds later, a genie popped out of the lamp, but the genie was angry that the man had kicked his lamp. Reluctantly, the genie said, "Even though you kicked me, I still have to give you three wishes. However because of what you did, I will also give twice what you wish for to the person you hate the most: your boss." So the man agreed and made his first wish. "…

A teacher asks her class, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Little Johnny says "I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day". The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he sai…

Saw the CEO arriving to work in a Ferrari this morning. He noticed i was looking and he told me "if you work hard for this company, if you stay overtime without asking compensation, if you truly believe you can make a difference and instill the same passion into your colleagues... ... then probably next year I'll be able to go for a Lambo"