#manhattan

My favorite episode of Friends is the one where blacks mysteriously vanish and unemployed white people find affordable housing in Manhattan.

My dad works on Nukes and told me this today What dessert was served during the Manhattan Project? Yellow Cake

A man walks into a bar and orders a Manhattan. The drink comes and he sees a piece of parsley floating in the glass. ""What in the world is this?"" The bartender says, ""Central Park.""

A wannabee client asked me to find her a one bedroom apartment in Manhattan for $900/month. ...then she added ""Oh, I have a 60 pound dog, too."" I politely replied: ""I don't have a time machine.""

ALL THE GAYS ON AN ISLAND My brother hates gay people -- hates us. 'We should take all you gays and stick you on an island.' 'Well they have, Frank. We call it Manhattan.'

My bartender offered me a new drink last night called a ""Sandy."" It's a watered-down Manhattan.

Poor Dr. Epstein Dr. Epstein was a renowned physician who earned his medical degree in his hometown and then left for Manhattan. Soon he was invited to give a speech in his hometown. As he placed his papers on the lectern they slid off onto the floor and when he bent over to retrieve them, at precisely the wrong instant, he farted, and the microphone amplified it throughout the room. He was embarrassed but regained his composure to deliver his paper. As he concluded, he raced out the stage door,…

The devil approaches a young lawyer... He asks, ""Are you sick of making less money than your cousin, the doctor, being taken advantage of and frustrated by the long hours?"" The young lawyer says, ""Yes!"" The devil said, ""Here's my offer: $1 million a year income, a penthouse in Manhattan, a private jet, an oceanside mansion and gorgeous companions of your choice. All I ask for in return is your eternal soul."" The young lawyer eyes the devil. He concentrates really hard. Then, after a big si…

How to be popular on Pokemon Go in New York. Go in a middle of Manhattan while playing Pokemon Go and yell with the top of your lungs; CHARIZARD ,CHARIZARD!!

What did two twins name a towing company started in lower Manhattan? The Twin Towers.

In history class we got to read on a WW2 topic of our choice. I chose the Manhattan Project. I heard it was the bomb.

Uber dressed up some of their vehicles as Star Wars Stormtroopers in Manhattan... I wouldn't mind riding one of those. They won't hit anything.

A driver in Manhattan is looking for a parking space He is driving for 30 minutes looking for a place to park his car. Desperately, he looks up and pray to god: ""God if you get me a parking space, i will go religious, never drink, lie or swear and will help people from now on"". As he finishes that - he sees a huge parking space. He lifts his head up and says: ""God - cancel that - no need, i got it""...

Have you heard about the new drink, the hurricane Sandy? It's a watered down Manhattan.

yo momma so fat her shadow engulfs all of manhattan

I'm getting tired of riding to work from New Jersey to Manhattan with my neighbors I guess I'm getting Carpool Tunnel syndrome

I really like the Manhattan Project It's the bomb.

There is a drink called sandy It's a watered down manhattan.

A woman walked into a bank, A woman walked into a bank in New York and asked for the loan officer. She said that she was going to Europe on business for two weeks and needed to borrow $5000. The bank officer told her that he will need some kind of security for such loan. So the woman handed over the keys of a new Rolls Royce car that was parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything was checked and the bank agreed to accept the car as security for the loan. An employee rode the car into …

There is a new drink at my bar. It's called a Sandy. It's basically a watered down Manhattan.

Hurricane Sandy I asked my bartender for a Hurricane Sandy. She looked confused and asked, ""What is that?"" I replied, ""A watered down Manhattan.""

There's a new drink called the Sandy It's a watered down Manhattan.

A new drink Some bars are serving this new drink called the ""Hurricane Sandy"". It's notjing special, really. It's just a watered down Manhattan.

A woman in New York is suing a Manhattan salon for $1.5 million over a bad haircut. The last time I saw a disaster like that with clippers was Donald Sterling.

The Manhattan Project was not intended to create nuclear weapons, it was meant to recreate the destructive power in a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick. They didn't even come close.