A snail in in a bar... A snail is in a bar grabbing a drink by himself. It's been a long week and he is tired and just wants a quiet moment before he goes home to his wife and kids. In walks the fox. The fox sits next to the snail and begins to loudly complain about his bitch of an ex-wife. How she took the house and the kids (she could have them), half his money but she couldn't touch his baby- a supped up Camaro. He said that Camaro was about the fastest thing in the world. The snail is gettin

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TIFU by crashing my car into a shop X-post from r/tifu Okay, so a little backstory. I'm a bit of an entrepreneur, and recently moved down to Mexico after purchasing a chain of 5 convenience stores (TAB, if you ever wanna look us up. I promise we're good) up near the Texas border, all pretty much aligned on this one stretch of almost entirely empty road near the suburbs, miles from any other shop, and the only place the factory workers will go. My drive from our home takes me round a blind corner

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A bear is chasing a rabbit in the woods... The happen upon a stream where a frog yells at them, ""I'm a magical frog. I'll grant each of you 3 wishes since your the first to grace me with your presence on over a hundred years"" ""ok but i go first,"" says the bear. ""I wish every bear in this forest, except for me, were female!"" And poof! All the bears are female. ""Ok ok my turn, I wish for a helmet!"" Says the rabbit. Poof! A helmet appears in his hands. ""you're an idiot rabbit. Such a waste

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Officer couldn't believe his eyes. A man was driving along in his beat up old dodge, when suddenly it broke down. He was parked on the side of the road trying fix it, when a Jaguar pulled up in front of him and offered to help. After a few minutes the two men obviously weren't going to get the old car going again, so the Jaguar driver offered to tow the Dodge to the nearest garage. A few minutes later the two had hitched up the old Dodge to the Jaguar, and they agreed that if the Jaguar driver

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