#third-son

An old man is on his deathbed... He tells the Priest that his firstborn son can have the part of the city near the castle, his second son can now have the east part of the city near the Stables, and his third son to have the northern part of the city closest to the Shops. The old man shortly passed away after and the priest tells the oldest son ""Your dad must of been a very wealthy man!"", He quickly says ""Hell no, that cheap bastard was talking about his Newspaper route!""

A pregnant woman was shot during a bank robbery... After being rushed to the hospital and treated in the ER, the doctor tells her some good and bad news. The good news is that she's having triplets, all boys and they're all healthy, the bad news is that they've each got a bullet inside of them and will pass this Bullet naturally in +- 18 years. 18 years later, the mother was sitting in her front room when her son bursts into the room, panicked, ""Mom, mom! You won't believe what just happened, I…

Caring for mom Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered.. Getting back together, they discussed the gifts that they were able to give to their elderly mother. The first said: ""I built a big house for our mother."" The second said: ""I sent her a Mercedes with a driver."" The third said: ""I've got you both beat. You know how Mom enjoys the Bible and you know she can't see very well. I sent her a brown parrot that can recite the entire Bible. It took twenty monks in a monastery …

""Birthday gift"" Three brothers wanted to give their blind mom a birthday gift. The first got her a big beautiful house. The second got her a brand new luxury vehicle with a driver. The third got her a talking parrot to keep her company. When they all got together, they wanted to know which gift she liked best. She said they were all great but she thanked her third son because she liked the chicken dinner best.

Tommy's Mom Tommy's mom has three sons. Rick and Nash. Who is the third son? Tommy you idiot. (I know this is more of a cheesy riddle. Pardon me, I'm from Canada. Also, to my friends this is funny in Canada.)

Martyr Two Middle East mothers are sitting in a cafe chatting over a plate of tabouli and a pint of goat's milk. The older of the two pulls a small folder out of her handbag and starts flipping through photos. They start reminiscing. ''This is my oldest son, Mujibar. He would have been 24 years old now.'' ''Yes, I remember him as a baby.'' says the other mother cheerfully. ""He's a martyr now though."" the mother confides. ""Oh, so sad, dear...'' says the other. ''And this is my second son, Khal…

I married a French girl and had three sons We named our first son Antoine. We named our second son Anteux. We named our third son Antthree.

Choose a special gift for Mother's day Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. They discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother. The first son said: "" I built a big house for our mother"" The second son said: "" I sent Mom a Mercedes with a driver."" The third son said: "" You remember how our mother enjoys reading the Bible. Now she can't see very well. So I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. The Elders at the church spent twelve …

Kids Today Two Arab mothers are sitting in a cafe chatting over a plate of tabouli and a pint of goat's milk. The older of the two pulls a bag out of her purse and starts flipping through photos. They start reminiscing. 'This is my oldest son, Mujibar. He would have been 24 years old now.' 'Yes, I remember him as a baby,' says the other mother cheerfully. 'He's a martyr now though,' the mother confides. 'Oh, so sad dear,' says the other. 'And this is my second son, Khalid. He would have been 21.…

An old lady decides to check on his 3 son-in-laws She wanted to see who respects/cares for her the most. She goes to the lake near the eldest son-in-laws place and jumps. The son-in-law dives in and rescues her. Next day, he sees a toyota corolla parked in front of his house with a letter -- Thanks from your Mother-in-law. Then she goes to her second son-in-law places and jumps in a lake near his house. The second son-in-law also saves her. Next day he too gets a toyota corolla as a gift with…

A woman pregnant with triplets is shot three times... by a mugger in the stomach while she's walking home one night. The doctors save her and the babies but tell her that eventually the kids will have to have the bullets removed. Well, they're born healthy, three strapping sons, and they grow normally and she forgets all about the bullets until one day one comes down, crying his eyes out. She asks him what's wrong and he says, "I was peeing and I peed out a bullet." She tells him the story a…

Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting back together, they discussed the gifts that they were able to give to their elderly mother. The first said: "I built a big house for our mother." The second said: "I sent her a Mercedes with a driver." The third said: "I've got you both beat. You know how Mom enjoys the Bible and you know she can't see very well. I sent her a brown parrot that can recite the entire Bible. It took twenty monks in a monastery 12 years to teach…

A mother-in-law doesn't trust her sons-in-law... ...so she decides to test them. First, she goes to the oldest's house. She jumps into a well, but her son-in-law rescues her promptly. The next morning, the oldest son-in-law finds a brand new Suzuki in front of his house with a little note: "Lots of love, your mother-in-law". The next day, she goes to her second son-in-law's house. She jumps into a well once again. Her son-in-law rescues her, but only after pondering about the decision for a w…

An old man is on his death bed and calls all his family and the priest. He says to his first son "I want you to have all the property in the north of the town, I have 16 houses there." He says to his second son "I want you to have all my commercial property, 8 businesses." He says to his third son "I want you to have the houses in the southern district, there are only 4, but they are expensive and lucrative." The old man passes away and the priest says "That is unbelievable, he must have…

The Best Son. Three brothers are waiting for their mother at the airport. One says I'm the best son because I got her a new car! The second one says I'm the best son because I got her a new TV!. The third one says I'm the best son because she's lonely so I got her a parrot to talk to. The mother gets off the plane and goes up to the first one and says I hate the car. Im practically blind and can't drive but now I gotta pay insurance to park it on the street. She goes to the second son and …

Retirement Home A woman moves to a retirement home. Her sons each decide to give her a nice gift as a token of their gratitude. “I will buy a Ferrari for mom,” the oldest says, “at least half a million dollars worth, so she can enjoy a nice drive.” “I'll buy her a luxurious villa with a downstairs sleep and bath room,” says the second, “that way she can live independently again.” “I am buying her a million-dollar parrot,” the third one says, “unique in its kind, one that can talk like the be…

A married couple were celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. Their three sons, all extremely successful and wealthy, agreed to a Sunday lunch to mark the occasion, but as usual they were all late and came up with a variety of excuses. The first son turned up fifteen minutes late. "Happy anniversary," he said. "Sorry I'm a bit late. I had a flat tyre this morning and as a result I'm afraid I haven't had time to get you a present." "Not to worry," said the father. "The important thing is th…

Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting back together, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly Mother. The first said, "I built a big house for our Mother." The second said, "I sent her a Mercedes with a driver." The third smiled and said, "I've got you both beat. You remember how Mom enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know she can't see very well any more. I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. It took Elders in the church …