#rick

I work with a guy named Rick. I'm pretty sure he spells his name with a silent "P."

Noah had a younger brother called Rick who just built a speedboat and saved 9 cheetahs

Rick Astley asked to borrow my Pixar collection. I said ""Rick, you can have Toy Story, Cars & Finding Nemo but I'm never gonna give you Up""

You can have any movie from Rick Astley's Pixar collection, except for one He's never gonna give you Up. ^^^^^^sorrynotsorry

An American biker decides to travel the world... Once upon a time there lived an American biker named Rick. Now, Rick loved to ride his motorcycle, but was tired of driving up and down the same roads, day after day. One morning, he woke up, and decided to travel the world. So he saved up some money, got on a plane, along with his trusty Harley, and set out to explore the globe. For the next few weeks, Rick spent his days riding to and through some of the most popular European cities like Paris, …

Rick and Jerry went hunting Rick and Jerry, after 2 days of tracking a buck, made their way into a clearing. both men are exhausted, getting little sleep during their expedition, and Rick decides that after the last 9 straight hours in the bush, he deserves to take a much needed bathroom break. after Jerry had finished gutting the buck, he realized that an hour had passed since Rick had left the clearing. worried, Jerry walked into the forest and found Rick, back against a tree and sitting as if…

Old but gold One day, John visited Rick to borrow some movie to watch. John: ""can i borrow some of your movies?"" Rick: ""Sure thing, just follow me"" John followed rick to a room full of movies from a to z Rick: ""so what are you looking for?"" John: ""oh just some family friendly movies like Disney or Pixar would be nice"" Rick: ""alright then, let me get those movies for you"" Rick picked a handful of movies and started handing them to john one by one Rick: ""so here is Aladdin, cars, findin…

April fool! While at work, right in a quite important meeting of some sort, Rick's mobile phone rings. Anxious because he knows what might be the reason behind this call, he answers the phone, only to jump up some seconds later, breathlessly take his coat and hat, squeaking some excuses to his smiling boss, hastily making for the exit of his office building. He finds a cab, jumps in and tells the driver to hit it, right to St. Helens Hospital, where his wife was delivering their first baby. Arri…

RICK AND MORTY SEASON 3 RELEASED! Just not in this dimension..

I'm shit at remembering names. But isn't every Tom, Rick, and Larry

An old, old joke I heard yesterday Three friends gathered round a campfire were swapping family stories. Rick said,""My granddad once pushed his truck for 3 miles searching for a gas station."" Martin chimed in at that point, ""That's nothing. My grandfather used to be very strong. He once lifted his old Ford while his friends changed two flats, as their jack was broken."" Johnny rolled his eyes at that and said, ""My grandfather once let an 18 wheeler freight-liner run over him. He would have b…

I have a friend called Rick that was recently turned into cotton... we have to call him Threadrick now. I thought of this joke on the way to buy my lunch today, I hope it's not already been made.

A kid with no ears and a speech impediment dresses up as a pirate for Halloween.. He knocks on the door and yells, "" 'Rick or 'Rea""! A home owner with a peg leg comes out and says, ""Oh, what are you?"" The kid says, ""I'm a 'irate!"" ""An 'irate?"" the home owner asks. ""Oh a pirate! Well where's your buccaneers?"" The kid points to the sides of his head and says, ""Righ' here! Where's your buckin' leg?""

Tommy's Mom Tommy's mom has three sons. Rick and Nash. Who is the third son? Tommy you idiot. (I know this is more of a cheesy riddle. Pardon me, I'm from Canada. Also, to my friends this is funny in Canada.)

Rick. Rick is a total lover of Pixar movies. He will lend you any title except for one. He is never gonna give you Up.

What does Rick and the Llama have in common? Caaaaarl!!

There once was a farmer who's name was Rick, And he just loved to play with his... Banjo, and the lady next door, You could tell by just looking that she was a... Fine, fine lady, she rolled in the grass, And when she rolled over, you could see her bare... Legs in the moonlight, she walked like a duck, And she taught Rick the right way to... Raise fine children, the girls learned to knit, And the boys learned to shovel big piles of... Hay and barley, this story goes well, And if you don't like i…

Computer Error I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Rick the computer guy, to come over. Rick clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. He gave me a bill for a minimum service call. As he was walking away, I called after him, ""So, what was wrong?"" He replied, ""It was an ID ten T error."" I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired: ""An ID ten T error? What's that ... in case I need to fix it again?"" The computer guy grinned.... ""Haven't you ever heard o…

What's the one movie Rick won't ever let you borrow? He won't ever give you *Up*. No? I'll show myself out . . .

What is Rick Grimes' favorite thing under the sea? CORALL!

Rick: hey Carl Carl: hey dad Rick: somebody stole my watch today. Carl: that's too bad. Rick: I was going to go after him, but I didn't have the time. Carl: dad stop it Rick: I didn't have the time coooral

Rick Astley's movie collection... You can ask to borrow any movie from Rick Astley except for one. He's never gonna give you Up.

What a one night stand said to me later... We met a few weeks later and were introduced. ""hey Rick this is XXXXXX. XXXXXX this is Rick."" She said ""Yeah, we shared a moment."" I thought that was really cool!

Late for work! Sal: Ha Rick. Can u check on Chris because he didn't show up to day. Rick: Sure ill call him now. Sal: Thanks. Rick: Ring, ring, ring... A kid: Hello. Rick: Hello little boy is your dad home? A kid: Yes. ..................... Rick: Well may I speak to him? A kid: No. Rick: Why not? A kid: He's talking to the policemen. Rick: Well then can I talk to your mom? A kid: No, she's talking to the policemen to. .....Sirens.....dogs barking.....helicopter blades spinning Rick: what's am I …

Two men are out ice fishing at their favourite fishing hole, just fishing quietly and drinking beer. Almost silently, so as not to scare the fish, Rick says, ""I think I'm going to divorce my wife - she hasn't spoken to me in over 2 months."" Dave continues slowly sipping his beer, then thoughtfully says, ""You better think it over - women like that are hard to find.""