#jerry

Expendables 4 (Rated R): Tom, Sylvester & Wiley Coyote coldly hunt down & eat Jerry, Tweety & Roadrunner. Directed by Quentin Tarantino.

You're the Thelma to my Louise. The Ben to my Jerry. The Kanye to my Kanye.

GENIE 1: he wanted money so i made him a bank robber, ha GENIE 2: i just...gave mine money GENIE 1: LMAO YOU GUYS, JERRY JUST GAVE IT TO HIM

"It's a competition, I didn't come here to make friends." -- Jerry, the 1st contestant eliminated on this season's "Friendmakers".

Tom & Jerry had the realest beef of all time..... nvr said a word.... it was jus on sight ..

I wonder if they ever considered calling it Jerry & Ben's.

[Dad jokes anonymous] "...and I'm clean 30 days" Guy from back: HI CLEAN 3O DAYS I'M DAD "DAMN IT, JERRY!"

I always date mathematicians. That way when they ask why I'm breaking up w/them I can say DO THE MATH JERRY. Oh yeah & I always date Jerries

Jerry Seinfeld is at Best Buy. "We've got a great deal on TVs today" the salesman says. "What's the deal?" Jerry says. The Best Buy explodes

GREETINGS MORTAL, YOU MAY ASK ME ONE QUE- "what's the deal with airline food?" GODDAMNIT JERRY HOW DO YOU KEEP FINDING THIS CRYSTAL

On a scale from 1 to 10... What is the age of Jerry Sandusky's boyfriend?

Bee Movie came out nine years ago today. Seinfeld had been off the air nine years when Bee Movie came out. Seinfeld was on the air for nine seasons... And this Halloween weekend, since he can get away with it, Jerry is dressing as Hitler just so he can scream ""NINE! NINE! NINE!""

Jerry sat proudly on his hazey steed ""Look at this!"" He said, ""I gave my horse a few puffs of the good herb, and he still managed to climb this towering mountain!"" ""Get off your high horse, Jerry."" I replied.

No one believes seniors . .. . Everyone thinks they are senile. An elderly couple was celebrating their sixtieth anniversary. The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired. Holding hands, they walked back to their old school. It was not locked, so they entered, and found the old desk they'd shared, where Jerry had carved I love you, Sally. On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armored car, practically landing at th…

Rick and Jerry went hunting Rick and Jerry, after 2 days of tracking a buck, made their way into a clearing. both men are exhausted, getting little sleep during their expedition, and Rick decides that after the last 9 straight hours in the bush, he deserves to take a much needed bathroom break. after Jerry had finished gutting the buck, he realized that an hour had passed since Rick had left the clearing. worried, Jerry walked into the forest and found Rick, back against a tree and sitting as if…

A man returns home from the golf course... His wife asks him why he no longer plays with Jerry, a long-time friend. He replies:""Would you enjoy playing with a swearing, rude cheat?"" His wife says ""No, of course not"". Her husband answers:""Well neither does Jerry""

Jerry was in hospital He was recovering from his surgery. A nurse asks him how he is. ""I'm OK, but I didn't like the four-letter-word the doctor used during the surgery,"" he answered. ""What did he say?"" asked the nurse. ""OOPS!""

Harry and Jerry Harry is at home and his door is locked. Jerry come in Harry says, ""Who are you and how did you get here"" Jerry says, ""I'm a locksmith and I'm a locksmith""

The police and a hole. There is a sinkhole in the street and the police are looking into it. Oh yeah, Jerry fell in from looking to closely.

Two clams There's two clams, one is named Jerry and the other is named Sam. They're swimming in the ocean and Sam looks at Jerry and says ""I wonder what it's like up there, I'm going to go find out"" Jerry tells Sam it's a terrible idea and not to do it but Sam does it anyway. Sure enough he gets swept up by a fisherman and eaten. A couple hours later Jerry wonders where Sam went so he goes up to look for him and sure enough he gets swept up by a fisherman and eaten. Jerry wakes up in clam heav…

An elderly couple... An elderly couple was celebrating their sixtieth anniversary. The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired. Holding hands, they walked back to their old school. It was not locked, so they entered, and found the old desk they'd shared, where Jerry had carved I love you, Sally. On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armored car, practically landing at their feet. Sally quickly picked it up and, n…

Good old Seniors No one believes seniors . . . everyone thinks they are senile. An elderly couple was celebrating their sixtieth anniversary. The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired. Holding hands, they walked back to their old school. It was not locked, so they entered, and found the old desk they'd shared, where Jerry had carved I love you, Sally. On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armored car, practical…

Mother: My goodness, Jerry, who gave you that black eye? Jerry: No one gave it to me. I had to fight for it!

Jerry's boss called him, ""You were supposed to be in the office an hour ago. What's the deal?"" Jerry replied, ""I think I've got rectal glaucoma."" ""Rectal glaucoma"" his boss shouted in disbelief, ""What the hell is that"" Jerry explained, ""Without going into too much detail, it basically means I can't see my ass comin in today.""

Ben, John, and Jerry got captured by cannibals. While exploring a jungle, Ben, John, and Jerry got captured by cannibals. The chief of the cannibals claimed that they shall eat them tomorrow, but will set them free if they past the test. The chief's daughter, however, fell in love with John at first sight, and decided to let him know what the test is. She told John that the chief will tell them to grab three fruits of the same kind, and when he says so, John must grab the smallest fruits he coul…