#dad-joke

Sometimes I open my mouth and a dad joke falls out and we both just need to walk away from that and remember better times ok

[Dad jokes anonymous] "...and I'm clean 30 days" Guy from back: HI CLEAN 3O DAYS I'M DAD "DAMN IT, JERRY!"

Warning: Dad Joke But it's a classic. Grasshopper walks into a bar and sits. Bartender says, ""Hey, we got a drink named after you."". Grasshopper says, ""Wow. You got a drink named Kevin?"".

What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator! Want to hear a joke about butter? [OK] Well I butter not tell you, you might spread it. does anyone have any more ""dad jokes"" similar to these?

My roommate asked to borrow my earbuds... Roommate: can I borrow your earbuds? Me: sorry, I don't share. Roommate: why not? Me: ear diseases... Roommate: what are talking about?! Me: haven't you ever heard of hearing AIDS?! Note: I apologize for nothing! Dad jokes for life!

What's the best part about living in a black family? You never have to hear a dad joke. Edit. Just thought of this at work one day hope it's not a repost

Why do they call ""roach-clips"", ""roach-clips""??? because potholder was already taken. I know it's like a venn diagram of drug jokes and dad jokes.

Where do cows stay when they go on vacation? In a moooo-tel. I just thought of this sitting in my hotel room. Sometimes I feel like i dad joke so hard I impregnate my girlfriend from 100 miles away.

I make so many dad jokes... I probably have a lot of bastard children I don't know about

A man walks into a liqueur store. A man walks into a liqueur store and gets some beer. After purchasing the teller remarks on the man's rubber gripped gloves. Good idea the teller comments. ""Yeah, they come in handy"" the man says. Thirty minutes later the man realizes he told a dad joke and posts it to reddit.

What do you call a bear without teeth? A gummy bear. I know it's bad, but everyone deserves a good arsenal of dad jokes.

Gotta love a dad joke Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, No, just leave it in the carton!'

My sister bought my dad a wok.... he responded by saying, ""but I already wok everywhere."" I'm 31 years old and my dad is 66. I just want everyone to know that dad jokes never die and will always mean something to someone.

Children with gay fathers as parents, I seriously sympathize you all It's not easy growing up with twice the dad jokes.

A man enters a pun competition [X-post r/feghoot] I posted this on r/feghoot a few days ago. It's a sub with ridiculously long jokes that have puns at the end, but I thought r/jokes might like it too This man really needed some money over Christmas to buy his family some presents. So of course he was over the moon when he found out his local newspaper was running a pun competition. Now this man, being a dad, loved dad jokes and especially puns, and as all dads do, thought his puns were the best.…

I am not a fan of dad jokes. ""Hi, Notafanofdadjokes, I'm Dad.""

What's the difference between Bad Jokes and Dad Jokes? One starts with B and the otber starts with D

Dodgy Dad joke Little Esmeralda has been sent to buy six eggs and some tomato sauce, so off she goes to the shop up the street. When she gets there she gets the six eggs and a bottle of tomato sauce and gives the man her money. It's a nice day so Esmeralda is skipping along, on her way home with the eggs and tomato sauce in a plastic bag, but just as she nearly gets home the bag breaks, spilling the eggs and tomato sauce and breaking everything on the concrete footpath. Poor little Esmeralda is …

Dad joke Dad: [Grabs chest] Quick! call me an ambulance! Son: You're... an ambulance. Dad: I'm-I'm so proud of you, son. [Dies]

A man and his son were at the grocery store today... They were using a cart that had a child-size car attached to the front with the kid inside. While I was shopping, I noticed the dad started hitting the cart into the wall, it was a pretty bizarre sight to see. Before I could intervene, the kid yells, Kid: DAAAAAD, stop!!! What are you doing?! Stooop! Kid: Daaaad?! We're not going anywhere! What are you doing? The dad finally stops after a minute, looks his son straight in the eye and says, as …

Two of my favorite dad jokes. 1) While passing a cemetery turn to whoever you are with and say "" Did you know everyone is just dying to get in there?"" 2) What does a 20 pound canary sounds like? (in a very deep loud voice say) CHIRP!

I'm good at telling dad jokes Hi good at telling dad jokes, I'm dad.

Dad joke Do any of you, when going poop, say ""Get out of me you piece of shit!"" And then chuckle cuz it's a literal piece of shit?

When does it become a dad joke? When it was a kid.

What do you call that little white stuff on the top of bird shit? More bird shit. (Dad joke from the 70's)