Two of my favorite dad jokes. 1) While passing a cemetery turn to whoever you are with and say "" Did you know everyone is just dying to get in there?"" 2) What does a 20 pound canary sounds like? (in a very deep loud voice say) CHIRP!
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As a father of girls, I think the best interview method for potential suitors will be: "Let me see your phone"
"No mom I DON'T HAVE a boyfriend!" -lie you tell at 18. "No mom I HAVE a boyfriend!" -lie you tell at 28.
I really hope I don't wake up tomorrow morning. I don't want to die, sometime in the afternoon would be nice, or even the next day
Lost my first follower today. Funeral is Tuesday. Will be live tweeting. It's what he would have wanted.
Joke ID:
01KKTNFTQ8QT1JR2BJP7S9FT4Z