#william

I, put commas, in, weird places, so that, you, read, my tweets, like William, Shatner.

bill nye is short for william new years eve

[william shakespeare as an 8yo] dad: bedtime william: dost thou not... dad: [interrupting] STOP TALKING LIKE THAT!

A Loving Grandpa A woman in a supermarket is following a grandfather and his badly behaved 3 year-old grandson. It's obvious to her that he has his hands full with the child screaming for sweets in the candy aisle, cookies in the cookie aisle; and for fruit, cereal and soda in the other aisles. Meanwhile, Grandad is working his way around, saying in a controlled voice, ""Easy, William, we won't be long, easy, boy."" Another outburst, and she hears the granddad calmly say, ""It's okay, William, j…

William joined the army... He rather disliked the phrase ""fire at will.""

Why wouldn't Dolores let William eat the corn? Because the maize isn't meant for him.

The Sports Mechanic Three middle-aged women are sitting on a park bench discussing their children. ""My son William studied Architecture at Cambridge. He's 25 years old now and he makes 70,000 a year at Bregmann and Hamann,"" the first woman says. ""My son Charlie read Law at Oxford. He'll be turning 23 in October and he makes 100,000 a year at Shoe Lane Chambers,"" says the second woman. ""My son Max didn't go to uni. He left school at the age of 16, as a matter of fact. He's 30 now, but he mak…

Why are there no guys named William serving in the army? Because they dislike the phrase ""Fire at Will""

Challenge: Change one letter in a move title to create a whole new blockbuster Examples: Pooper: BRUCE WILLIS finds out the hard way just how dangerous time travel can be. Tar Trek: WILLIAM SHATNER's quest to go where no man has gone before to make Canada a major oil producer. Gone with the Wine: Nicholas Cage drinks himself to death in the old south. 301: Dalmatians rescue ancient Sparta from cruel cats. Zardog: Sean Connery's dog wins Best of Show. Sin Citi: Kiki's bond ratings may have fallen…

My friend William joined the army He is uncomfortable with the phrase ""Fire at Will""

Good news and a bad news John the butler went to Sir Richard very worried and told him: -Sir Richard, someone wrote a dirty word about you in the snow with urine. Sir Richard ordered John to investigate and soon he returned with the results: -Sir Richard, I have good news and a bad news for you - which would like to hear first? -The good news of course- said Sir Richard. -The good news is that we found that the urine belongs to your neighbor William. The bad news is that it's in your wife's hand…

Why was William considered a enemy? Because, His last name was Dafoe

Sam, William, Richard and Ridge are sitting in an English class. Sam, William, Richard and Ridge are sitting in an English class and things are getting pretty boring. They're discussing the Victorian Period. Ridge is a math major, and he starts determining how much money it would cost to print the words on William's book on a giant plaque. William is making fun of him for being nerdy, and Sam is laughing at him because he is also a math guy. Ridge begins having a panic attack because it's gettin…

World's Greatest Grandfather A woman in a supermarket is following a grandfather and his badly behaved grandson. He has his hands full with the child screaming for sweets, cookies, and all sorts of things. The grandfather is saying in a controlled voice: ""Easy, William, we won't be long"". Another outburst and she hears the grandfather calmly say, ""It's okay William. Just a couple more minutes and we'll be out of here. Hang in there"". At the checkout the little horror is throwing items out of…

hey wat was lenard nimoys favorite pet william ratner his rat

At the exact same moment, a priest named William Clinton and the former president William Clinton, die. Through a obvious mix up, Bill is sent to Heaven, while William is sent to Hell. They spent a day there, until the mistake is noticed and Bill is sent down to Hell. As they meet at the elevator, they meet an exchange pleasantries. ""After a day here, I feel sorry for you my son, but I am so excited to meet all my favorite Biblical figures! Jesus, Peter and of course, the Virgin Mary!"" William…

Princess Diana beat her children Did you know that Princess Di beat her children? It was a sad secret that her kids carried with them until after her death. Then one day, Prince Charles noticed that Prince William was especially withdrawn and not at all acting like himself. Prince Charles asked William what was wrong and William replied: ""Diabetes.""

Choose a special gift for Mother's day Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. They discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother. The first son said: "" I built a big house for our mother"" The second son said: "" I sent Mom a Mercedes with a driver."" The third son said: "" You remember how our mother enjoys reading the Bible. Now she can't see very well. So I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. The Elders at the church spent twelve …

A grandfather and his grandson in the supermarket A woman in a supermarket is following a grandfather and his badly behaved three-year-old grandson. It's obvious to her that he has his hands full with the child screaming for candy in the candy aisle, cookies in the cookie aisle and for cereal and soda in the other aisles. Meanwhile, Granddad is working his way around, saying in a controlled voice: ""Easy, William, we won't be long, easy, boy."" Another outburst, and she hears the granddad calmly…

A woman in a supermarket is following a grandfather and his badly behaved 3 year old grandson. It's obvious to her that he has his hands full with the child screaming for sweets in the sweet aisle, biscuits in the biscuit aisle, and for fruit, cereal and pop in the other aisles. Meanwhile, granddad is working his way around, saying in a controlled voice,""Easy, William, we won't be long. Easy, boy."" Another outburst and she hears the grandfather calmly say, ""It's okay William, just a couple mo…

A man walks into a bookshop and says, ""can I have a book by Shakespeare?"" ""Of course, Sir, which one?"" The man replies, ""William.""

Who is William Shatner's mythical nemesis? The Lepre-khaaaaannnnn!!!!!

One Sunday morning William burst into the living room and said, ""Dad! Mom! I have some great news for you! I am getting married to the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away and her name is Susan. After dinner, William's dad took him aside. ""Son, I have to talk with you. Your mother and I have been married 30 years. She's a wonderful wife but she has never offered much excitement in the bedroom, so I used to fool around with women a lot. Susan is actually your half-sister, and I'm…

There's this guy named Jacob. His favorite color is green. He drives a green car, he has a green house, he lives in Greensboro. One day, he's out driving in the middle of nowhere when he realizes that he's about to run out of gas. He spots a green gas station up ahead and thinks to himself ""That gas station is my favorite color, so I'll go get gas there."" After he fills his car up he sees that it's getting late outside so he looks around for a hotel he can stay at. Sure enough, there's a green…

What famous chiropodist ruled England ? William the Corn-cutter!