#hitler

You know, I think Hitler was misunderstood. He didn't want to gas the Jews, he wanted a glass of juice.

You know I heard Hitler was a really good cook. . . Everything he made was kosher.

What's a Hitler Youth's favorite video game? Meincraft

Did you hear about the prank these guys pulled on Hitler? When Hitler found out, he was fuhrer-ious.

My Russian History Professor told us an old Soviet Union joke Brezhnev dies and goes to hell (responsible for era of Soviet economic stagnation) where he meets the Devil. The Devil says: ""You've been a bad man, Mr. Brezhnev. I'm going to show you three doors, a different eternal punishment behind each, and you must choose your fate."" Three large wooden doors materialize; The Devil opens the first to reveal Hitler being boiled alive in a huge cauldron. Brezhnev says: ""That looks too painful, l…

Why did Hitler shoot himself? Because he got his gas bill.

Why didn't Hitler ever order a french dip? Because he hates au jus.

Why did Churchill always beat Hitler with scissors in rock, paper, scissors? Because he knew Hitler always threw paper.

It was at the height of world war II... ... and Hitler decided to invade Britain. So he asked the head of the Kriegsmarine to study plans for a water assault on Britain and carrying ground troops. After a brief study, the admirals conveyed with the Fuhrer, and told him that it was absolutely impossible, there was no way the Reich could muster enough ships to carry all the troops and the logistics necessary. The only way would be to do like Moses, and part the water of the English channels like …

How Hitler eat a vegetable? He jew it.

Why didn't Hitler get an A on the math exam? He didn't complete the final solution. I wrote that in my sleep.

Why did Hitler fail math in high school? Because he could never get to the Final Solution.

What does Hitler say when he's impressed? That's Totalatarily Awesome

What video game does hitler play? Mein craft

Why didn't Hitler drink tequila? Because it made him mean.

Who is the best jewish cook in the world? Hitler

What did Hitler say from heaven when the Russians took over Auschwitz Stop it that's Mein Kampf!

How does Hitler tie his shoes? One Jew at a time!

Why was Hitler such a bad painter He could only paint reichtangles

Some historic anti-Nazi jokes from Germany Hey there. I thought, I'll take the time and translate you some of the so-called ""Flusterwitze""(whisper jokes) from nazi Germany. * The old code of law seems to complicated, so it has to be changed. From now on, there are only three laws: 1. If you do something, or fail to do something, you are punished. 2. The penalty is determined by the peoples emotion*. 3.What the peoples emotions is dictated by the Gauleiter(governor). (1934/35) (original: ""gesu…

Questions and answers from Radio Athens Question: Is it true that there are two kinds of people serving as deputies of the European Parliament, as members of the European Commission, as members of the Permanent Representations of the Member States to the European Union and as members of the national Parliaments? Answer: Yes, it is absolutely true. One kind is those not capable of anything at all, and the other, those capable of anything whatsoever. Question: Is it possible for Switzerland to joi…

Ironic A Jewish family has a reunion to celebrate Hanukkah. During the reunion, a boy has a conversation with his grandfather, a Holocaust survivor. Boy:""Grandpa, isn't it ironic how Hitler used the swastika, a symbol of peace, as the symbol for the Nazi party? Grandfather: No, that's not ironic. Boy: Oh, yeah? Then what is? Grandfather: Your father's Volkswagen.

What did Hitler say to the Chinese food delivery guy that stole his Chinese food? MEIN LOMEIN!

Why was Latin afraid of Hitler? They were both dead!

Jesus Sure jesus fed 2000 people with fish, but hitler made 6million jews toast.