#poland

Watching WWII documentaries, it's always so heart wrenching when Poland is invaded and London is bombed by the Alt-Right.

"Do it!" Nah, I don't wanna. "Come on, man!" No way. "It'll be fun!" I don't know... "Do it for the Vine!" Oh alright. *Hitler invades Poland*

[party in 1939] teen: truth or dare hitler: dare teen: dare you to invade poland hitler: omg no way u guys all the teens: DO IT DO IT

I got my first email address in 1999 to keep in touch with a girl I met in Poland. She's dead now but I still use email.

"It seems like many polls are turning against you. How do you respond?" TRUMP: They should be sent back to Poland. Very dangerous people.

Say Bubba, do you know.... *One of my favorite Bubba jokes* Bubba was bragging to his boss one day, ""You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."" Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, ""OK, Bubba how about Tom Cruise?"" ""Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it."" So Bubba and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise, shouts, ""Bubba! Great to see you! You and your friend c…

An artist is commissioned to create a painting to celebrate Soviet-Polish relations... to be entitled 'Lenin in Poland'. Around a month later the artist unveils his painting to a crowd of Soviet dignitaries, and it is greeted by gasps of disgust The painting depicts Lenin's wife in bed with Leonid Trotsky One of the assembled guests asks 'But where is Lenin?' To which the artist replied, 'Lenin's in Poland'

Theme 2: Polish --Q: How do you get a one-armed Pole out of a tree? --A: Wave to him. Q: What is long and hard that a Polish bride gets on her wedding night? A: A new last name. --Q: Did you hear about the Pole who studied for 5 days? --A: He was scheduled to take a urine test. A 747 recently crashed in a cemetery in Poland. Polish officials have so far retrieved 2000 bodies. --Two Poles emigrated to America. On their first day off the boat in New York City, they spied a hot dog vendor in the st…

Jewish scientist wanted to become rich and famous... After years of research he finally created his great invention - a potion that would make cats talk. He started travelling all around the country, showing off his invention, but to his astonishment people were not interested. He thought about it for a while and decided, that perhaps cats were not popular enough, or cat owners did not want to know what their pets are saying. So he worked for several more years and modified the potion so that it…

What do you call a tank rolling through the streets of poland? Ghetto Blaster

When German politics go right, they go far right. Right through Poland

A racist guy from Poland takes a walk near along the river... ... and notices somebody drinking dirty water from it. He shouted: -What the f*** are you doing?! Do you want to kill yourself? The other person replies: -Was? Ich verstehe nicht! -Nevermind. Keep drinking.

If someone from Poland is called a Pole, what's someone from Holland called? Dutch.

A polish peasant farmer... ...is digging in his field one day when he hits something with his shovel. Picking it up and dusting it off, he recognizes it as an old lamp. A genie pops out and offers him three wishes. The Pole thinks about his wishes for the entire day and finaly decides. ""Genie"", he says, ""I want the Mongol hordes to sweep through Poland."" The Genie snaps his fingers and a low rumbling sound of hoofbeats is heard. Over the horizon come the Mongol hordes which ride down and kil…

What happens when a soviet and a german have a child? I don't know but he can conquer poland really fast.

On a transatlantic flight to Poland... ...the pilot announced on the intercom, ""Ladies and gentlemen, we just lost one of our engines. But don't worry. We can still fly on the other three. It'll just take an extra hour to get to Poland."" Grumbles ensued but died down. A while later the pilot announced, ""Ladies and gentlemen, we just lost a second engine. But don't worry. We can still make it on two. It'll just take an extra three hours to get to Poland."" Grumbles turned into annoyed remarks.…

[Long] A Polish farmer... During WWII a Polish farmer is tilling his field when he finds a lamp. He picks up the lamp and rubs off the dirt when a genie pops out. The genie says ""Thank you for freeing me from my prison. In return I will give you three wishes."" ""Ok"" says the farmer, ""for my first wish I want the Mongols to come to Poland and then turn around and leave."" The genie seems puzzled but grants the wish. The Mongols come to Poland burning and pillaging their way there. Once they a…

During WWII, An Old Man Worked At a Concentration Camp in Poland... Due to the Nazi's bombing the factory he used to work in. His job was to move straw back and forth, he would take new straw bales shipped in every morning, put the hay in wheelbarrows where prisoners would then bring the wheelbarrows to where it was needed. Every night, he had to bring the old and soiled hay used by the prisoners to a dump outside of the camp. Every day, he was searched on his way into the camp, and then again w…

If you were born in Poland and are now taking a piss in England, what are you? European

Go on vacation in Poland... ...your car is already there!

Country Music Album My friends don't seem to be enjoying my attempt at a Country Music album. It bothers them that the song about Germany runs straight into the song about Poland.

My family is German. I've learned the hard way not to get drunk. The hangovers aren't the problem, but for some reason I keep waking up in Poland, and all my Jewish neighbors keep vanishing...

What is green and flying over Poland? Peter Panski

A Furniture Salesman A furniture salesman is surprised to see a man named Boris who speaks little English in his shop. ""I come from Poland to America. Here is 20 bucks, give me sweetheart."" Boris says. ""Wait a second"", says the furniture salesman, ""Let me see that flier you brought with you"". Sweetheart Deal 20 Dollar Discount on Home Furnishings 1134 New York Street, NY, NY ""I see the problem here"", says the furniture salesman.

Handball :) Germany is now the handball European champion. But it seems it was the easiest win in Poland since 1939 for a german team.