#coca-cola

Don't "psh" me, Coca Cola I just opened.

I always choose Pepsi over Coca-Cola because I prefer my soda dehyphenated.

I call bullshit on these retro bottles of Coca-Cola. They make you add your own cocaine.

You can now buy "throw back" Pepsi with real sugar. Where can I find throw back Coca-Cola with real cocaine?

Coca Cola: Because drinking black water seems like a solid life choice.

If I had a time machine, sure I'd go back & kill Hitler, but first I'd pick up an ice cold Coca Cola Classic! (sponsored tweet)

If Coca-Cola really cared about the obesity problem they'd put cocaine back in.

Never treat someone like Coca-Cola when they treat you like Pepsi.

I've been driving with a coca cola can stuck in snow on the roof of my car for a week cuz 7 thinks it makes us cops. Stare all you want.

I don't know why Coca-Cola and Pepsi are fighting over what Santa drinks, everybody knows that big fat belly can only come from beers.

I saw some footage of some polar bears drinking water today. It's obviously fake. Everybody knows they only drink Coca-Cola.

Coca-cola should make a Coca-cola flavored candy cane and call it a Coke Cane.

a coca-cola can and a dr pepper bottle are having an emotional talk... coca-cola asked why dr pepper had been bottling up his feelings for so long!

My class has a field trip to the Coca-Cola factory All the other kids are excited, but I am just praying that there's no pop quiz.

I'm more of a Coca-Cola person... soda speak.

""Houston we have a problem"" Ground Control: Yes? Command: The Soviets beat us to the moon. Ground Control: So? Command: The commies painted the whole moon red! Ground Control: Then just get some white and write ""Coca Cola"" on it!

Mastercard Chinese Resturant Commercial General Tso's Chicken........ $11.50 Coca-Cola........ $1.99 Take out guy forgets container........ Riceless

How do you stir up the politics in a Coca Cola drink? You add ices.

Why don't the polar bears ever drink Diet Coke in Coca-Cola commercials? Because bears don't drink aspartame, dumbshit.

Topical Jokes for 6/17 (For best results, imagine these in the voice of your favorite talk show host) In Michigan, a man was arrested after he tried to toss a football filled with drugs into a prison. Prison guards knew something was wrong when they heard 700 inmates shouting, ""I'M OPEN! I'M OPEN!"" The United States announced they've arrested the mastermind of the 2012 attack in Benghazi. When Republicans heard the news, they said, ""Oh great! They caught Hillary Clinton!"". Coca Cola is testi…

The dumb 'pretend' game Two simple minded men are trying to amuse themselves because they are bored. One says to the other... ""Oh ! I know. Let's play a game of 'Pretend' !"" The other one not knowing what was the game asked what he had to do... ""Simple !"" said the other. ""I will 'pretend' to be a Butcher in a shop and you come in as a 'pretend' customer and 'pretend' to buy something. The guy playing the customer part says ""Ok, lets do this !"" He turns around while the Butcher 'pretends' …

Chinese guy enters a grocery shop... A chinese guy enters a grocery shop and asks: -- ""Chunshun guashi Coca Cola"" The shopkeeper responded: -- ""A bottle of what?""

3 brewery presidents walk into a bar... 3 brewery presidents walk into a bar. One from Corona, Coors and Guinness. The president from Corona says to the bartender, ""Give me a Corona, the best Mexico has to offer"" and the bartender hands him one. Next, the Coors president orders a Coors saying ""Hand me the only beer in the world made with water fresh from the Colorado Rockies."" Then the Guinness president walks up to the bar and orders a Coca Cola. The bartender, a bit taken aback, hands him …

Your name must be Coca Cola, because you're so-da-licious

To a person in the US, it is anybody from the South. To somebody in the South, it is anybody in Mississippi. To a person in Mississippi it is somebody who lives in a mobile home. To somebody in MS living in a mobile home, it is a guy who drives a pickup. To a MS guy in a trailer house who drives a pickup, it is a guy who drives a pickup with a Dale Earnhart decal on it. To a MS guy in a trailer house with a decal of Dale Earnhart on his pickup, a redneck is somebody who drives around with his do…