#houston

-Houston, do you copy? -Houston, do you copy? -God damn it, Houston! -God damn it, Houston!

I like messing with Texas by calling random numbers in Houston and telling them I have a problem.

[tries to eject CD 5 mins into space mission] Houston we have a problem I KNOW U CHEATED W/MY WIFE TOM ENJOY 12 YRS OF SMASH MOUTH U PRICK

Just saw a snake slither through my backyard, so if anyone wants a house in Houston, it's yours.

Buzz: hey Neil where do cows come from? Neil: I dunno where Buzz: the moooon haha .. .. *single gunshot* Neil: uh Houston we have a problem

ASTRONAUT: Houston, we have a problem. HOUSTON: Oh, we're fine down here, thanks for asking. Let's make this all about you though, as usual.

1st girl @ the moon: - Houston, we have a problem - What happened? - Nothing, doesn't matter - Come on - Nothing.. - Tell me - U should know

woah. you can say "Houston we have a problem" in messy situations that have nothing to do with astronauts or texas? this changes everthing

"Houston we ... are fine." Female astronaut probably

Houston, we have a problem Houston: new phone who dis

Why Pro Athletes Can't Have Regular Jobs... (long but good) 1 Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: I wan' all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan' all the kids to copulate me."" 2 New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season: ""I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first.."" 3 And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skin's say: ""I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl,"" Matt Millen of the Raiders said: ""T…

Houston, we have a problem Whitney Houston Jokes Whitney Houston to star in her new film. The Bodybag. One more.., If she wasn't before, Whitney Houston is definitely 100% soul now.

What do you call a Muslim on a plane? Soon to be detained for flying home to his family in Houston after a business trip.

First woman in space ""Houston, we have a problem."" What? ""Never mind."" What's the problem? ""Nothing."" Please tell us. ""I'm fine.""

NASA sends a space shuttle up with two pigs and a blonde on board. While the shuttle is taking off, the NASA command center calls the first pig and asks, ""Pig #1, do you know your mission?"" The pig replies, ""Oink oink Houston. Get the shuttle into orbit and launch the trillion dollar satellite. Oink oink."" Then NASA Control asks the second pig, ""Pig #2, do you know your mission?"" The second pig replies, ""Oink oink Houston. Once Pig #1 has completed the trillion dollar satellite launch, cl…

The first woman on the moon. ""Houston we have a problem."" What? ""nevermind"" What's the problem?? ""nothing"" Please tell us!? ""You know what the problem is.""

There was a blackout in the streets of Houston yesterday... Don't worry, the police have everything under control..... they shot him.

A lawyer stopped by a sheriff A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff's deputy. He thinks that he is smarter than the deputy because he is a lawyer from New York and is certain that he has a better education than any cop from Houston. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the deputy's expense. Deputy says, ""License and registration, please."" Lawyer says, ""What for?"" Deputy says, "" You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign."" Lawyer says, ""I …

Stop sign regulations. A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff's deputy. He thinks that he is smarter than the deputy because he is a lawyer from New York and is certain that he has a better education than any cop from Houston. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the deputy's expense. Deputy says, ""License and registration, please."" Lawyer says, ""What for?"" Deputy says, "" You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign."" Lawyer says, ""I slowed …

Do you know why women aren't allowed in space? * To avoid scenarios like: ""Houston, we have a problem!"" * ""What is the problem?"" * ""Yeah, great, pretend like you don't know what I'm talking about!""

What do MLK, Elvis, and the Houston Oilers have in common? They all died in Tennessee

So NASA is stepping up its efforts to hire more women astronauts... ""Houston, we have a problem."" ""What is the problem?"" ""Nothing."" ""What is the nature of the problem?"" ""Never mind, I'm fine, whatever.""

An Australian travels to Houston for business, and sees who he suspects to be a famous football player. So he decides to ask him.... You Watt, mate?

How do you find Will Smith in the snow? You just look at him. Will Smith is black and wearing a black winter overcoat, it's pretty easy to see him. You don't need to look for him or anything, he's just right there. He's plowing his driveway. Wait, Will smith lives in California. It doesn't snow in Los Angeles does it? I live in Houston so I don't really see snow often. I think it's snowed like four or five times in the 14 years I've lived here, and only once was there any significant snow. (like…

A young man was going to be married so he asked his father if he could give his fiance his deceased mother's ring. This was fine with the father. The father decided to have it appraised for insurance purposes. He asked a lady friend who was a well-known jeweler to do the appraisal; she accepted, and said that her fee would be supper at a very nice Houston restaurant. They had supper together, and as they lingered over coffee, he produced the ring. She took it out of the box, examined it, put on …