#kerry

Joke that was totally told to me by a Navy SEAL and I am not lying or anything After numerous rounds of, ""We don't know if Osama is still alive,"" Osama himself decided to send George W. Bush a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game. Bush opened the letter which appeared to contain a single line of coded message, 370HSSV-0773H. Bush was baffled, so he e-mailed it to John Kerry. Kerry and his aides had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI. Noone could solve …

The FBI sends an agent to infiltrate the IRA They know that he has to pass him off as Irish, otherwise they won't accept him. So they send him first to random cities, where he learns the accent, the mannerisms. Few weeks later he starts to learn how to speak Irish. He spends some time in the Gaeltachts (Irish speaking areas) of Galway, Mayo, Kerry. All grand, nobody suspects a thing. It's now time to travel up to Belfast to meet his IRA contact. They meet and he speaks perfect Irish with the per…

Brotherly Love A new Irish pub opens in downtown New York. On the first day, an Irishman walks in and orders three pints of Guinness. He takes a sip from the first one, then a sip from the second and finally a sip from the third. He does this in turn until all pints are empty. This goes on every day for a few weeks, and since the barkeeper has never seen anything like this, he asks about this peculiar drinking habit one day: ""See"", the Irishman says, ""I used to go for a pint together with my …

WASHINGTON, DC (AP) - Congress approved sweeping legislation, which provides new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA), signed into law by President John Kerry shortly after its passage, is being hailed as a major victory by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition. ""Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society,"" said Kerry, a longt…

Brotherly Love A new Irish pub opens in downtown New York. On the first day, an Irishman walks in and orders three pints of Guinness. He takes a sip from the first one, then a sip from the second and finally a sip from the third. He does this in turn until all pints are empty. This goes on every day for a few weeks, and since the barkeeper has never seen anything like this, he asks about this peculiar drinking habit one day: “See”, the Irishman says, “I used to go for a pint together with m…