#george-w-bush

List of the shortest books 1. The Australian Book of Foreplay. 2. Contraception by the Pope. 3. The American Guide to Etiquette. 4. Healthy Marriages by the British Royal Family. 5. Consumer Marketing Ethics. 6. Career Opportunities for History Majors. 7. My Life's Memories by Ronald Reagan. 8. Integrity by Bill Clinton. 9. The Wit and Wisdom of George W. Bush. 10. What I've Accomplished by Barack Obama.

Obama announces his idea for air strikes against ISIS... Before publicly announcing it, he runs the idea past George W. Bush and Bill Clinton. Obama: ""I believe this will be exactly what we need to do to fight ISIS. It'll hit them right where it hurts. They'll never see it coming!"" Bush: ""Iraq sure didn't."" Clinton: ""Neither did she.""

So an airplane was about to crash..... An airplane was about to crash; there were 5 passengers on board but only 4 parachutes. The 1st passenger said, ""I am Kobe Bryant, the best NBA basketball player, the Lakers need me, I can't afford to die."" So he took the 1st pack and left the plane. The 2nd passenger, Hillary Clinton said, ""I am the wife of the former US President, a NY State Senator and a potential future President. I deserve to live"" And she took the 2nd pack and jumped out of the pl…

A Brazilian George W. Bush was sitting in the oval office with his commanders thinking about their next move with the invasion of Iraq. An informant quickly enters and tells Bush that Brazil has sent a group of soldiers to aid us in the conflict, and that 5 Brazilian soldiers died in an explosion earlier that day. George Bush suddenly bursts into tears and begins to cry uncontrollably. After a few minutes, Bush collects himself, looks at the informant and asks ""Exactly how much is a Brazilian?"…

BUSH AND BILL Jokes Q: Why was there so much confusion with the Secret Service after George W. Bush took over the White House? A: Because President Bill Clinton's code name was also ""Mr. Bush.""

George W. Bush was sitting in the Oval Office... ..... when his secretary walks in with a phone in his hand. He says, ""Four Brazilian soldiers were killed today in Iraq."" Upon hearing this The President says, ""Oh my God!"" and he buries his head in his hands. The entire Cabinet was stunned. Usually George Bush showed no reaction whatsoever to these types of reports. Just then, Bush looked up and said, ""How many is a Brazilian??""

So George W. Bush is in his office.. when his secretary of defense walks in, ""we lost 2 Brazilians in Iraq today."" GW puts his head in his hands looks up very sullen and asks, ""How many is a Brazilian?""

The George W. Bush Library just opened... It uses the Doofas Decimal System.

George W. Bush and Karl Rove are talking... Karl Rove walks into the Oval Office and says ""Mr. President, I have some bad news. Four Brazilian soldiers died yesterday in Iraq"" The president buries his head in his hands, crying ""no! No! No! That's awful, that's terrible...."" He pauses, collects himself, and says ""wait.... How many is a Brazilian?""

Subject: PRESIDENTIAL LIBRARY DESTROYED BY FLOOD ... GEORGE W. BUSH PRESIDENTIAL LIBRARY DESTROYED BY FLOOD Crawford, Texas (AP) A tragic flood this morning destroyed the personal library of President George W. Bush. The flood began in the presidential bathroom where the books were kept. Both books have been lost. A presidential spokesman said the president was devastated, as he had almost finished coloring the second one. The White House tried to call FEMA but there was no answer.

While suturing a laceration on the hand of a 90-year-old man, the doctor asked his patient how he thought George W. Bush was doing as President. The old man said, ""Ya know, Bush is a post turtle."" Not knowing what the old man meant, the doctor asked him what a ""post turtle"" was. He said, ""Did you ever drive down a country road and come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top? You know he didn't get there by himself, he doesn't belong there, he can't get anything done while he's up…

An aircraft is about to crash. There are five passengers on board but unfortunately only 4 parachutes. The first passenger says ""I'm Shaquille O'Neill the best NBA basketball player. The Lakers need me it would be unfair to them if I died."" So he takes the first parachute and jumps. The second passenger Hillary Clinton says ""I am the wife of the former President of the United States. I am also the most dedicated woman in the world a Senator in New York and America's potential future Preside…

George W. Bush and Osama bin Laden are having a conversation via Al Jazeera television. Bin Laden tells George Bush ""There is no point of engaging in further war. I can see total peace in the future!"" George Bush replies ""Oh yeah and tell me what you see?"" Osama answers ""I can see New York with new great buildings on one side and beautiful new buildings on the other side and everything is peaceful and wonderful."" George Bush says ""Wow is that what you see? Well I'll tell ya what I see …

A reporter cornered George W. Bush at a press conference: ""Many say the only reason why you would be elected for President is due to the enormous power and influence of your father."" ""That notion is ridiculous!"" mocked George Jr. ""It doesn't matter how powerful the man is. He can only vote once!""

George W. Bush is seen crossing the Potomac river on foot. The Washington Post : ""President Bush crosses the Potomac River"". The Washington Time : ""Bush's conservative approach saves taxpayers a boat"". Mother Jones : ""Bush can't swim"".

Four U.S. presidents are caught in a horrible tornado... Four U.S. presidents are caught in a horrible tornado, that hits a state funeral they’re all attending in Kansas. Suddenly, all of them are blown off to Oz. They finally make it to the Emerald City and come before the Great and Powerful Oz. “What brings you before the great Wizard of Oz?” Jimmy Carter steps forward timidly: “I've come for some courage.” ”No problem!” says the Wizard. “Who is next?” Ronald Reagan steps forward, “W…

This is a very old joke that I'm sure most people have heard. One day George W. Bush was walking through Washington when he spotted a boy selling week old "Republican Puppies", delighted he resolved to come back with reporters in a few weeks for his campaign. When he came back the boy was now selling "Democratic Puppies". Disgruntled he asked why and the boy said, "They used to be Republican Puppies, but now they've opened their eyes."

Einstein, Picasso and George W. Bush stand before the Pearly Gates Einstein, Picasso and Bush stand before the Pearly Gates. St. Peter gets out to greet them and says: "I'll let you in, but first you have to prove that you are who you say you are." Einstein: "That's easy. Could you give me a blackboard and some chalk, please?" St. Peter snaps his fingers, a blackboard and chalk appear, and Einstein writes a few formulas while explaining the theory of relativity. "I believe you, it really is…

Australia's smartest man An airplane was about to crash.. There were five passengers on board, but only four parachutes. The first passenger said, “I am President Obama, the chosen one. The world needs me, I can’t afford to die.” So he took the first parachute and left the plane. The second passenger, Tony Abbot said, “I am the Prime Minister of Australia and I am the smartest man in Australian history, so Australia’s people don’t want me to die.” He took the second parachute and jumped…

Osama Bin Laden sends George W. Bush a coded message Osama Bin Laden sends George W. Bush a coded message to let him know he is still alive:- "370H SSV 0773H." Bush is baffled. Condi Rice and her aides and even the FBI and CIA can't decipher it. So they ask Britain's MI6 for help. Within a minute MI6 replies:- "Er, tell the President he's holding the message upside down."

Dubya meets Moses George W Bush was sitting at an airport when he saw a strange man walking by. He had long white hair, a long white beard, wore robes, and rocked sandals that clicked against the floor along with his staff. Dubya got up and stood in front of him. "Hey, aren't you Moses?" Moses pretended he couldn't see him. Dubya asked again, but again Moses was looking away intently. Finally Dubya grabbed the man's arm and said, "Why are you so unfriendly??" To that Moses finally respond…

Four former U.S. presidents... Four former U.S. presidents are caught in a horrible tornado that hits a state funeral they’re all attending in Kansas. Suddenly, all of them are blown off to Oz. They finally make it to the Emerald City and come before the Great and Powerful Oz. “What brings you before the great Wizard of Oz?” Jimmy Carter steps forward timidly: “I've come for some courage.” ”No problem!” says the Wizard. “Who is next?” Ronald Reagan steps forward, “Well…I…I think I need a …

Bill Clinton, George W.Bush and George Washington are on a sinking ship. Bill Clinton, George W. Bush and George Washington are on a sinking ship. As the boat sinks, George Washington shouts, "Save the women!" George W. Bush hollers, "Screw the women!" Bill Clinton asks excitedly, "Do we have time?"

When he was president, George W. Bush decided to visit a school... ...so the kids could ask him questions. 'Mr. President, my name is Bob and I'd like to ask three questions,' says the first kid. 'Alright, ask away,' says Bush. 'My first question: why do you label everything as "terrorism"? My second question is: why do you always say we have the moral high ground when we were the ones who dropped two atomic bombs? And finally: how come you only became president after they counted the votes …

George Bush dies Albert Einstein dies and goes to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter says to him, "Who are you?" Einstein says, "I'm Albert Einstein." St. Peter says to him, "A lot of people pass through these gates, how can I be sure that you're the real Einstein?" So St. Peter gives him a blackboard, and Einstein draws and proves the amazing theory of relativity. St. Peter is amazed and says, "Go in! You're Einstein!" Many decades later, Pablo Picasso dies and goes to heaven. At the gates,…