#mr-president

A Muslim, A Commie, and an Illegal Alien walk into a bar.. and the bartender says, ""what can I get you Mr. President?""

A black guy, an illegal alien, a Muslim, and a communist walk into a bar... The bartender asks, ""What can I get you Mr. President?"" ;-P

Two men, an American and a Russian were argueing. One said, in my country I can go to the white house walk to the president's office and pound the desk and say ""Mr president! I don't like how you're running things in this country!"" The Russian said ""I can do that too!"" ""really?"" ""Yes! I can go to the Kremlin, walk into the general secretary's office and pound the desk and say, mr. secretary, I don't like how Reagan is running his country!""

Trump steps out onto the White House lawn in the dead of winter Donald Trump steps out onto the White House lawn in the dead of winter. Right in front of him, on the White House lawn, he sees ""Donald Trump Sucks"" written in urine across the snow. Well, he's is pretty ticked off. He storms into his security staff's HQ, and yells ""Somebody wrote an insult in the snow on the front damn lawn! And they wrote it in urine! Whoever did it had to be standing right on the porch when he did it! Where we…

A rapist, a con-artist and a fascist walk into a bar... The bartender says 'What'll it be Mr President?'

On the last day of Barack's presidency, he and Donald Trump go to the same barbershop to get their hair done. Barbers decide not to talk about politics, and everybody ends up not talking at all. The air is so tense. it could be almost cut with the barber's knife. Donald's hair gets finished first, and when the barber tries to apply some cologne to it, Donald goes nuts ""Are you out of your mind? I can't go to my house smelling like I've been in a brothel. Melania would go crazy"". Right at that …

What do you call someone who lost an election by 2 million votes? Mr. President.

A racist, a womanizer, and a rapist walked into a bar... ...the bartender says ""how may I help you, Mr. President?""

It's 2004 and George W Bush is on the campaign trail... He stops at a small-town midwest diner for breakfast. After taking a seat he is greeted by a pretty young waitress. ""Mr president, what an honor it is to be serving you. So what will you be having this morning?"" Dubya looks up from his menu, smiles, and says ""How about a quickie?"" The waitress is appalled. ""Mr president! I voted for you because I thought you stood for morals! And family values! I guess you're no better than Clinton."" …

Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, Tim Kaine, Mike Pence and an elderly lady were on a plane that was halfway across the Atlantic Ocean on their way to America. Suddenly, the plane began to start shaking violently. A voice on the intercom said, ""We lost an engine! Going Down! Passengers take a parachute and get away before it blows!"" Unfortunately there were only 4 parachutes available. Hillary grabbed one, said, ""I'm sorry, but as a potential first female president and keeper of Wall Street inte…

A black guy, a Muslim, and a racist walk into a bar... The bartender says, ""The usual, Mr. President?""

The president of United States converses with a retired veteran Veteran : You know, mr. president, when I was combatting in the Middle East I once killed 3 enemies single handedly while being shot in my chest. President : Syriasly? What happened afterwards? Veteran : Iran.

A black man, a lawyer, an illegal immigrant, a Muslim, and a Communist walk into a bar The bartender asks: ""What will it be, Mr. President?""

An old joke about President Calvin Coolidge The President and Mrs. Coolidge were being shown (separately) around an experimental government farm. When Mrs. Coolidge came to the chicken yard she noticed that a rooster was mating very frequently. She asked the attendant how often that happened and was told, ""Dozens of times each day."" Mrs. Coolidge said, ""Tell that to the President when he comes by."" Upon being told, the President asked, ""Same hen every time?"" The reply was, ""Oh, no, Mr. Pr…

Donald Trump gets elected as President. 1st day in office: We have to bring back jobs from China, lets just call Xi Jinping and tell him he's fired! 2nd day is office: We have insert our dominance back in Europe and send Russia a message, lets just call Putin and threaten him with another Cold War. 3rd day in office: Need to solve the immigration issue, lets just call Nieto and tell him to stop sending rapists. 4th day in office: Need to renegotiate Iran Nuclear Deal, lets just call Khamenei and…

What does 1 black man call a white man? Master. What do 10 black men call a white man? Coach. What do 100 black men call a white man? Warden. What do tens of millions of white men call a black man? Mr. President.

An illegal alien, a communist, and a Muslim walk into a bar The bartender says, ""Hello, Mr. President!""

What do you call a C-average student from Texas? Mr. President

President Obama walks into the Bank of America and says to a cashier, ""Good morning Ma'am, could you please cash this check for me""? Cashier: ""It would be my pleasure sir. Could you please show me your ID""? Obama: ""Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was any need to. I am President Barrack Obama, the president of the United States ."" Cashier: ""Yes sir, I know who you are, but with all the Government regulations, monitoring of the banks because of imposters an…

Joke by former president Calvin Coolidge The President and Mrs. Coolidge were being shown [separately] around an experimental government farm. When [Mrs. Coolidge] came to the chicken yard she noticed that a rooster was mating very frequently. She asked the attendant how often that happened and was told, ""Dozens of times each day."" Mrs. Coolidge said, ""Tell that to the President when he comes by."" Upon being told, the President asked, ""Same hen every time?"" The reply was, ""Oh, no, Mr. Pre…

Obama, Biden, and Clinton sit in a plane.. Obama looks out the window and says to the other two, ""Ive been thinking. I wish I could do more to help these people; they deserve so much!"" He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a $100 bill. He says, ""If I drop this out the window, I can make somebody really happy!"" Biden clears his throat and says, ""Excuse me Mr. President, but I can do you one better."" He pulls out ten $10 bills and continues, ""I can drop ten of these out the window and ma…

A Muslim, an Illegal Immigrant, and a Marxist walk into a bar... And the bartender asks, ""What'll ya have, Mr. President?""

Obama and Biden are sitting in the Oval Office... Obama looks at the Vice President and says ""Look at this economic report! The people of Bangkok are doing astoundingly! What will we call this country in 20 years?"" Biden thinks for a moment, then replies, ""I'm not sure Mr. President. What will we call them?"" Obama stands up, looks into the distance, and says ""We will call them Tai-Two."" The President sits back down and reads another report. ""My god!"" he exclaims, ""The Berlin numbers are…

A Muslim, a communist and an illegal immigrant walk into a bar... And the bartender says, ""Hello Mr. President!""

President Obama went to the bank to cash a check and he didn't have his ID. And the teller said you've got to prove who you are. He said, ""How should I do that?"" She said the other day Phil Mickelson came in, he didn't have his ID but he set up a little cup on the ground, took a golf ball, putted it right into that cup so they knew it was Phil Mickelson. They cashed his check. And then Andre Agassi came in. And Andre Agassi didn't have his ID either. He put a little target on the wall, took a …