#mr-president

Reagan’s joke. Two men, an American and a Russian were arguing. One said, “in my country I can go to the white house walk to the president's office and pound the desk and say "Mr president! I don't like how you're running things in this country!" "I can do that too!" "Really?" "Yes! I can go to the Kremlin, walk into the general secretary's office and pound the desk and say, Mr. secretary, I don't like how Reagan is running his country!"

America vs Russia An American and a Russian are arguing about freedom in their respective countries. The American says proudly: “I can walk into the Oval Office anytime, I can pound the president's desk, and I can say, Mr. President, I don't like the way you're running our country." The Russian replies nonchalantly: "Yes sir, I can do that too. I can go into the Kremlin to the President's office, I can pound his desk and say, Comrade President, I don't like the way President Biden's running hi…

Vladimir Putin confronts his speechwriter after giving a speech. “You said my speech would be 15 minutes long, but I had to speak for 45 minutes!” Putin exclaims. His speechwriter replies: “Mr President, I gave you three copies.”

Putin steps away from the war room to use the restroom... As he sits he hears alarms and red flashes fill the bunker. He hears his men running around and without hesitation he jumps up, pulls up his pants and runs our to see what the commotion is. He asks the next in command the situation: "ICBM Mr President!" Putin replies "I WAS IN A HURRY, I DIDNT WIPE!"

Vladimir Putin and his driver die in a car accident Not surprisingly, they end up in Hell. The Devil gives them choice - they can go to Russian Hell, or American Hell. They look around and don't see much difference between the two; really, they both look fairly nice and pleasant. The Devil lets them know, however, that each morning, they must eat an entire bucket of cow shit before they can do anything else. Putin, having always secretly been jealous of America, chooses American Hell. His …

An American and a Russian were arguing about the differences in their countries. The American says: Listen in my country i can walk into the oval office and i can hit the desk with my fist and say “ President Biden I do not like the way you’re governing our country” The Russian says: i can do that. The American says: what how? The Russian says: i can go straight into the kremlin go to the president’s office and i can pound my fist on Putin’s desk and say “ Mr. president i do not like the w…

Secret Service no longer yells “Get down Mr President” any more when the President is under attack

What do you call a 70 year old man trapped in the emotional state of a 14 year old girl? Mr. President.

The bodyguards of the POTUS used to shout ""Get down Mr. president!"" during assassination attempts

"Mr. President, two Brazilian soldiers were killed yesterday in Iraq." "Oh my god... How many is a Brazilian?"

One day, the President finds a nasty message scribbled with pee on the snowy White House lawn. He orders the Secret Service to investigate. They come back a few hours later with the results. "Mr. President, we have bad news and worse news." "What's the bad news?" "The urine belongs to the Vice President." "What could possibly be worse than that?" "The handwriting belongs to the First Lady."