#sunday-school

A mid 30's guy is grocery shopping, and a 20 something blonde catches his eye. She looks very familiar, but he can't remember where he met her. When they moved closer, she said to him, ""Hi - I think you're the father of one of my children."" The guy freaks out. He says, ""I've only cheated on my wife 3 times - in Vegas 5 years ago, in Orlando 4 years ago, and in Seattle 3 years ago. You look familiar, but I just can't remember. Who are you?"" She says, ""I'm your son's Sunday school teacher.""

Mary is sitting in Sunday school... She had a long night, so she was dozing off. The teacher asks ""Who is the creator of the world and all its creatures?"" A kid sitting behind Mary starts poking her with a pencil. She wakes up and turns around and yells ""My GOD!"" The teacher says she is correct and Mary dozes off again. The teacher proceeds to ask the class ""Who is the son of God?"" The kid pokes Mary again with a pencil, she again wakes up, turns around and yells ""JESUS CHRIST!"" The teac…

Little Jhony, April and Teacher Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ""Tell me, April, who created the universe?"" When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ""GOD ALMIGHTY!"" shouted April and the teacher said, ""Very good"" and April fell back asleep. A while later the teacher asked April, ""Who is our Lord and…

Little Johnny A teacher in Sunday school once asked Little Johnny, ""Johnny, do you believe in the Devil?"" ""No,"" said Little Johnny knowledgeably. ""It's just like with Santa Claus. I know it's really my dad.""

The Pope is teaching a Sunday school class ""Children"" begins the Pope. ""Where's Jesus today?"" Little Tommy says: ""He's in my heart."" Little Barry says: ""He's in Heaven."" Little Davey says: ""He's in our bathroom."" The surprised Pope asks Little Davey how he knows this. ""Well,"" says Little Davey, ""every day my Dad bangs on our bathroom door and yells 'Jesus Christ, are you still in there?""

My Sunday School teacher is so old... .. when the New Testament came out she said ""I don't care for the new curriculum.""

Little April wasn't the best student in Sunday school Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ""Tell me, April, who created the universe?"" When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ""GOD ALMIGHTY!"" shouted April and the teacher said, ""Very good"" and April fell back asleep. A while later the teacher asked April, ""Who is our Lord and Saviour,"" But, April didn't even…

Oh God, I am coming During a group discussion at Sunday school, a nun asks the children what they think God takes you by when you die. A kid responds, ""I think God takes you by your feet, because once I walked into my parents room and my mom's feet were in the air and she was screaming, ""Oh God, I'm coming!!!

A Sunday School teacher asks her kids, what is Jesus' name? Johnny violently shakes his hand from the back. The teacher calls on him and he says ""Jesus' name is Andy"". The teacher, confused, asks ""What do you mean"". Johnny replies "" Well we always sing about him at church,"" Andy talks with us, Andy walks with us""

A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed them to go to church, ""And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"" Annie replied, ""Because people are sleeping""

A Sunday School teacher is teaching her class about Hell. She asks the class, ""Do any of you know what happens to little boy and girls when they're bad?"" A child raises their hand as says, ""Oh yeah, Father Martin takes you into the bushes behind the church!"" The teacher is taken aback, and screams at the child. Another child stands up and says, ""No, it's true! Father Martin took my sister into the bushes behind the church the other day."" Gone white, the teacher asked what happened to her. …

Little Johnny and April Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ""Tell me, April, who created the universe?"" When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ""GOD ALMIGHTY!"" shouted April and the teacher said, ""Very good"" and April fell back asleep. A while later the teacher asked April, ""Who is our Lord and Saviour…

Penny was never the best Sunday school student. She was always falling asleep in class and getting into trouble. ""Penny,"" the Sunday school teacher asked, one dozing day. ""Who created the universe?"" When she didn't stir, Jimmy, who sat behind her, poked her in the rear with his pencil. ""God Almighty!"" shouted Penny, and the teacher said, ""Very good."" A while later the teacher asked ""Penny, who is our savior?"" But again Penny didn't stir from her slumber. Jimmy poked her again with his …

And The Lord Separated His Paper From His Plastics... My sister-in-law was teaching Sunday school class. The topic for the day: Easter Sunday and the resurrection of Christ. ""What did Jesus do on this day?"" she asked. There was n""What did Jesus do on this day?"" she asked. There was no response, so she gave her students a hint: ""It starts with the letter R."" One boy blurted, ""Re

A priest walks into a bar... sits down and orders a 12 year old Single Malt Whisky. That will be $10 the bartender says. $10?? The priest cries out, that's outrageous. Where else could you get a nice 12 year old for $10? Asks the bartender. The priest replies, Sunday School, for free

Suzy is sleeping in Sunday school when... The teacher asks the class: Who created the heavens and the earth? Little boy behind Suzy pokes her with a pencil. ""Good God"", Suzy exclaimed. ""Very good Suzy. Now who can tell me who saved us from our sins?"" the teacher asked. Little Johnny pokes Suzy again. ""Jesus Christ!"" she shouts. ""Very good Suzy. I'm glad you're answering so strongly. Now, what did Eve day to Adam after their last child?"" the teacher asked hoping to stump her students. Lit…

Little april in Sunday school! Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ""Tell me, April, who created the universe?"" When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ""GOD ALMIGHTY!"" shouted April and the teacher said, ""Very good"" and April fell back asleep. A while later the teacher asked April, ""Who is our Lord and …

Little Johnny in Sunday School A Sunday school teacher think his students might need a refresher on Jesus, so he asks the class, ""Do you know Jesus is?"" Steven raises his hand and says ""Jesus is in Heaven."" Mary answers ""He's in my heart."" Little Johnny raises his hand and jumps up and down and blurts out, ""He's in our bathroom!"" The surprised teacher asks Little Johnny how he knows this. ""Well"" Little Johnny says ""every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door and yells…

What river was Jesus baptized in? True story: I was the 7th grade Sunday School teacher and that was a question on a Bible quiz. The class guessed the Nile, the Amazon, and finally the Seine. ""Here's a hint,"" I said, ""There used to be a basketball player for the Chicago Bulls who was famous for his ability to leap to the basket."" One of the kids guessed ""The Michael Jordan river?""

Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ''Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?'' When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ''God Almighty !'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good'' and Mary fell back to sleep. A while later the teacher asked Mary, ''Who is our Lord and Savior?'' But Mary did…

Little Johnny comes home from Sunday school with a black eye. His father sees it and says, ""Johnny, how many times do I have to tell you not to fight with the other boys?"" ""But Dad, it wasn't my fault. We were all in church saying our prayers. We all stood up and my teacher in front of me had her dress in the crack of her butt. I reached over and pulled it out. That's when she hit me!"" ""Johnny,"" the father said. ""You don't do those kind of things to women."" Sure enough, the very next sun…

Two little girls were walking home from Sunday School One turns to the other and asks ""What did you think about all that Satan stuff- do you think he's real?"" The other replied, ""Don't be silly, the Devil's like Santa- it's just your dad."" Thanks Luther, for this joke and for being a great TV show.

Clergy with terrible, terrible habits... A Catholic priest, a Methodist pastor, a Baptist minister, and an Episcopalian rector were attending an ecumenical conference. After supper, they were relaxing in the hotel restaurant, talking. The Catholic priest said, ""You know, it's great to get to know one another's theology across sectarian boundaries like this. But I think it would be even better if we shared some of our human side. Don't any of you have any bad habits? You know, confession is good…

Resurrection day Children at Sunday school were asked what resurrection meant. One boy replied, ""I know that if you have a resurrection that lasts for more than 4 hours you should call a doctor."" Happy Easter!

Josey wasn't the best pupil at Sunday school. She often fell asleep and one day while she was sleeping, the teacher asked her a question. ""Who is the creator of the universe?"" Joe was sitting next to Josey and decided to poke her with a pin to wake her up. Josey jumped and yelled, ""God almighty!"" The teacher congratulated her. A little later the teacher asked her another question, ""Tell me who is our lord and savior?"" Joe poked Josey again and she yelled out, ""Jesus Christ!"" The teacher …