#sunday-school

How do you get into Heaven? When Tim was just a wee lad, he went regularly to Sunday School. One day, his teacher decided to test Tim to see if he understood the concept of getting to Heaven. She asked him, "If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, Would that get me into Heaven?" "NO!" Tim answered. "If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me into Heaven?" Again, the answer was, "…

Sunday School Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?" When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep. A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," Bu…

Jenny was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was having a nap: "Tell me, Jenny, who created the universe?" She didn't stir, so Mike, a boy in the chair behind her, quickly took a pencil and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted Jenny And the teacher said, "Very good". Soon, Jenny was fast asleep again. A while later the teacher asks Jenny: "Who is our Lord and Saviour?" Once again, Mike pricke…

Sunday School Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping. "Tell me, April, who created the universe?" When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep. A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Savior," but Ap…

Josey wasn't the best pupil at Sunday school. Josey wasn't the best pupil at Sunday school. She often fell asleep and one day while she was sleeping, the teacher asked her a question. "Who is the creator of the universe?" Joe was sitting next to Josey and decided to poke her with a pin to wake her up. Josey jumped and yelled, "God almighty!" The teacher congratulated her. A little later the teacher asked her another question, "Tell me who is our lord and savior?" Joe poked Josey again and she y…

Little Mary was not the best student... in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, 'Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?' When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, and altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed it in her rear. 'God Almighty!' shouted Mary and the teacher said, 'Very good,' and Mary slowly fell back asleep. A while later the teacher asked Mary, 'Who is our Lord and Saviour?' But Ma…

A joke from kids at my old Sunday School: A man buys a horse... The woman selling the horse says ''before you ride off with him, you must remember some very important phrases! This horse will not move unless you speak to him ''Thank God''. He will not stop until you say ''Amen''. Only these commands will he act upon, understand?'' The man is confused, but he can remember something as petty as that. He mounts the horse, yells ''Thank God'' and as the old lady said, the horse speeds off. a lo…

Ohh Jhonny!!!!! Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?" When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep. A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, April…

Little Johnny was in Sunday school... ... and when the teacher was asking questions about the church, Johny realized the girl named Suzy was sleeping the whole time, and when she was called on, he poked her hard in the back with his pencil to try to wake her up and help her. The teacher asked Suzy "Who is our Lord and Savior?" He poked the pencil hard in to her kidney to wake her Suzy up, "JESUS!" She yelled angrily. The teacher called on Suzy again and asked " Who created the heavens and the …

Little April was not the best student in Sunday school Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?" When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep. A while later the teacher asked April, "Wh…

Sunday School A girl named Emily is sitting in Sunday school, but she just can not stay awake. She falls asleep and the class continues. The teacher asks the class "who died on the cross?" A boy behind Emily sees that she is sleeping and pokes her in the back with a pencil. She yelps out "JESUS CHRIST" "Correct" says the teacher. Emily falls back asleep and the class continues on. Next the teacher asks the class "Who created heaven and earth?" The boy pokes Emily again and she yelps out…

Little April was not the best student in..... Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?" When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep. A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our…

Little Suzy wasn’t a very good student. She never paid attention in Sunday School and always fell asleep at her desk. One Sunday, the nun was at the front, teaching the class, and in an attempt to engage Suzy, who was visibly nodding off, asked her, “Suzy, who created the Heavens and the Earth?” Little Johnny, who was sitting directly behind her, decided to wake her up by surreptitiously taking his long pencil and sticking it in her bottom, causing Suzy to jump right up and yell “God Almighty…

I matched with an empty-picture Tinder profile We had a brief conversation. Clever and humorous, so I proposed a date. Yes, she replied. I was guessing she'll be 400 pounds. However, it was she who answered the door—this little strawberry blonde with a lustrous head and well formed curves everywhere. After exchanging our true names, I asked her what does she do for work. "Sunday school teacher," she says. I'm taking her to the second-best restaurant I can think of even though I've never …

Where? A Sunday School teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that He grew up, etc. So he asked his class, “Where is Jesus today? “ Steven raised his hand and said, “He's in heaven. “ Mary was called on and answered, “He's in my heart. “ Little Johnny, waving his hand furiou…

Moses Nine year old Joey was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday school. “Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea, he had his engineers build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then he used his walkie-talkie to radio headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved.” “ “Now, Joey, is th…

Who knows where Jesus is today? A Sunday School teacher was concerned that his

Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Little April was not the best student in Sunday school.

Who is the creator of the universe? Josey wasn't the best pupil at Sunday school. She often fell asleep and one day while she was sleeping

Little Dora liked to sleep in Sunday school Little Dora was not the best student in Sunday school

Tommy doesn't want to go to Sunday school Sunday morning

Little Mary always falls asleep in Sunday school class During class

Just a special day at sunday school Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping

Little Sandy was not the best student in Sunday school Usually she slept through the class.

Eligibility A teacher was testing the children in her Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of going to heaven. She asked them