#suzy

Free Kittens A pretty little girl named Suzy was standing on the sidewalk in front of her home. Next to her was a basket of furry animals; in her hand was a sign that read: FREE KITTENS. Suddenly a line of big black cars pulled up beside her. Out of the lead car stepped a tall grinning man. ""Hi there little girl, I'm Mitt Romney. What do you have in the basket?"" ""Kittens"", little Suzy said. ""How old are they asked Romney?"" Suzy replied, ""they're so young, their eyes aren't even open yet."…

A 2nd grade class just gets in from recess... The teacher tells the class they're going to do a spelling assignment that relates to what they did for recess. ""If you can come up to the board and write the word I give you, you'll get a gold star for the day,"" the teacher explains. ""Tommy, what'd you do for recess?"" she asks the first student. ""Well,"" Tommy begins, ""I played in the sand box with Suzy!"" ""Okay great. If you can come to the board and spell the word 'sand' I'll give you a gol…

Suzy Why did Suzy fall of the swings? Cause she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzy. What did Suzy get for Christmas? Gloves Ha Ha just kidding that's mean We actually don't know she hasn't opened it yet.

farmer & the little boy A farmer drove to a neighbor's farmhouse and knocked at the door. A boy, about 9, opened the door. ""Is your dad or mom home?"" said the farmer. ""No, they went to town."" ""How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?"" ""No, he went with Mom and Dad."" The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other, mumbling to himself, when the young boy says, ""I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one, or I can give Dad a message."" "…

A LESSON IN MORALS One day at the end of class, little Johnny's teacher asks the class to go home and think of a story to be concluded with the moral of that story. The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their story. Little Suzy raises her hand. ""My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market. Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the road."" When t…

Suzy is sleeping in Sunday school when... The teacher asks the class: Who created the heavens and the earth? Little boy behind Suzy pokes her with a pencil. ""Good God"", Suzy exclaimed. ""Very good Suzy. Now who can tell me who saved us from our sins?"" the teacher asked. Little Johnny pokes Suzy again. ""Jesus Christ!"" she shouts. ""Very good Suzy. I'm glad you're answering so strongly. Now, what did Eve day to Adam after their last child?"" the teacher asked hoping to stump her students. Lit…

Suzy Why did little Suzy fall of the swing set? She has no arms... Knock knock? Who's there? Not Suzy

Third grade teacher to her class: ""Who can use the word 'beautiful' twice in the same sentence?"" Suzy raises her hand and says: ""The girl has a beautiful new dress and she looks beautiful in it."" Teacher: ""Very good Suzy. Okay, Billy."" Billy: ""When my sister told our father that she was pregnant, he said 'Beautiful, just beautiful.'""

Little Suzie Goes Swimming in a lake One day, Little Suzy goes swimming in the lake with her grandmother. After they get out they go to shower. ""Grandma"" Little Suzy asks, pointing between her grandmother's legs. ""What's that?"" ""Oh,"" her grandmother replies. ""That's my beaver, dear."" The next day Little Suzy goes swimming with her mother, and they go showering afterwards too. ""Mummy, is that your beaver?"" asks the girl. ""Er, yes it is, Suzy. Where did you learn that?"" her mother answ…

Johnny's wife Suzy is upset... ...Johnny has forgot their anniversary. Suzy says, ""If tomorrow I don't see a shiny, metal object that can go from 0 to 300 in a few seconds by tomorrow, I'm leaving you!"" The next day, Johnny wakes up early and goes to work. Suzy wakes up, looks into the driveway and sees a big box sitting there. Suzy runs down and opens it. Inside she finds bathroom scales.

The teacher was quizzing the bible students... and she asked ""Who parted the Red Sea?"" Just then, rotten little Johnny poked Suzy with a pin, causing her to exclaim ""Holy Moses!"" The teacher said ""Very good, Suzy!"" Then the teacher asked ""Who turned water into wine?"" Johnny pokes Suzy with the pin again, who hollers ""Jesus Christ!"" The teacher can't contain herself, and asks Suzy ""What did King Davids wife say to him as they retired for the night?"" Johnny pokes Suzy yet again, bringi…

Chain jokes? I just wanted to know some chain jokes, doesn't matter any kind. I have 1 but that's really all I know: Q: Why did little Suzy get run over by a car? A: She had no arms or legs! Knock knock! Who's there? Not little Suzy

Future Plans! A third grade teacher always took role call each morning and had the pupils` answer by reciting a short poem. The first kid sat in the first row was a teachers pet. He stood and said, ""My name is Dan, and when I become a man, I would like to go to Japan if I can, and I think I can."" The next kid was a little girl who sat in the middle of the room. She stood up and answered the roll call by stating, ""My name is Suzy, and when I become a lady I would like to have a baby if I can, …

A Seventh Grade Health Class was learning about pregnancy. Young Suzy asks her teacher, ""Can my grandma get pregnant?"" Her teacher replies that no, she can't, shes far too old. Suzy then asks if her fifty year old mother could get pregnant. Her teacher tells her no, shes a little too old for that. Suzy, puzzled, asks if she can get pregnant. Her teacher freaks out and tells her ""Don't even think about it young lady, you're far too young!"" Johnny pipes up from the back of class ""See, I told …

Starting Early There was a little girl named Suzy and she liked to play with one of the little boys in her neighborhood named Jack after school. One day, Suzy comes home ecstatic and her mother asks, ""Suzy, why are you so excited?"". Suzy replies ""I was playing with Jack and he said he'd give me a dollar if I climbed the tree in our yard and I did. So now I have a dollar!"" The mother realizes her little Suzy is wearing a dress and puts two and two together. ""Suzy,"" the mom starts to say, ""…

Countryside Perspective A farmer drove to a neighbor's farmhouse and knocked at the door. A boy, about 9, opened the door. "Is your dad or mom home?" said the farmer. "No, they went to town," said the boy. "How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?" asked the farmer. "No, he went with Mom and Dad," the boy answered. The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other, and mumbling to himself. "I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one, or I can…

10-year old Little Johnny brings Suzy home from school . . . He says, "Mom, Suzy and I want to get married." His Mom thinks it's adorable, so she asks with fake concern, "But Johnny, where will you live?" He says, "Well, we thought about that and my room is bigger than hers, so we'll probably live in my room." "But Johnny, what will you do for money?" the mother asked grinning. "Well, I get $5.00 a week allowance, and Suzy gets $3.50, and I think we can get by on that." The mother asks sl…

Little Johnny was in Sunday school... ... and when the teacher was asking questions about the church, Johny realized the girl named Suzy was sleeping the whole time, and when she was called on, he poked her hard in the back with his pencil to try to wake her up and help her. The teacher asked Suzy "Who is our Lord and Savior?" He poked the pencil hard in to her kidney to wake her Suzy up, "JESUS!" She yelled angrily. The teacher called on Suzy again and asked " Who created the heavens and the …

A LESSON IN MORALS One day at the end of class, little Johnny's teacher asks the class to go home and think of a story to be concluded with the moral of that story. The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their story. Little Suzy raises her hand. "My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market. Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the road." When …

farmer & the little boy A farmer drove to a neighbor's farmhouse and knocked at the door. A boy, about 9, opened the door. "Is your dad or mom home?" said the farmer. "No, they went to town." "How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?" "No, he went with Mom and Dad." The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other, mumbling to himself, when the young boy says, "I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one, or I can give Dad a message." "Well," s…

When you're from the farm, your perception is a little bit different. A farmer drove to a neighbor's farmhouse and knocked at the door. A boy, about 9, opened the door. "Is your dad or mom home?" said the farmer. "No, they went to town." "How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?" "No, he went with Mom and Dad." The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other, mumbling to himself, when the young boy says, "I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one…

The Farmer's Daughter A farmer drove to a neighbor’s farmhouse and knocked at the door. A boy, about 9, opened the door. "Is your dad or mom home?" said the farmer. "No, they went to town." "How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?" "No, he went with Mom and Dad." The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other, mumbling to himself, when the young boy says, "I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one, or I can give Dad a message." "Well,…

Little Suzy wasn’t a very good student. She never paid attention in Sunday School and always fell asleep at her desk. One Sunday, the nun was at the front, teaching the class, and in an attempt to engage Suzy, who was visibly nodding off, asked her, “Suzy, who created the Heavens and the Earth?” Little Johnny, who was sitting directly behind her, decided to wake her up by surreptitiously taking his long pencil and sticking it in her bottom, causing Suzy to jump right up and yell “God Almighty…

Billy really wanted to ask Suzy to the prom but he was so nervous he waited until the day before to ask her... He walks up to Suzy in the hall and says ""Suzy

Little Suzy wet herself in class one day.. The teacher asked ""Why didn't you put your hand up?"" She said ""I did! but it ran out through my fingers!""