My telethon to raise money for starving children in Africa was a huge flop. I didn't know the TV added 10 pounds. Those kids looked fine. :(#Africa#Money0🔗 SharePermalink →
All I said was, Even those starving kids in Africa wouldn't eat your cooking and my wifes foot became Mayor of my ass on Foursquare.#Africa0🔗 SharePermalink →
Can any of you read your Chinese food bill? Looks like they charged me for a chicken lo-mein, a python, Africa, and a diet Coke.#Africa#Animals#Food#Technology0🔗 SharePermalink →
There are starving kids in Africa. IHOP has a "Kids Eat Free" promotion. Just build an IHOP in Africa. Problem solved.#Africa#Ihop#Work#One-Liner0🔗 SharePermalink →
Ate way too much..I'm gonna go to Africa and throw up everything I just ate for all the starving children..yes I do have a generous side.#Africa0🔗 SharePermalink →
Whenever my girlfriend doesn't eat her dinner, I remind her that there are starving kids in Africa, and that she'll never be that skinny.#Africa#Dating0🔗 SharePermalink →
I could've built a school in Africa with the amount of time I've spent uncapitalizing letters in texts to seem cool.#Africa#School#One-Liner0🔗 SharePermalink →
There are poor, helpless kids in Africa who really need our help. But there's also kids with machine guns so I'm not going.#Africa#Money0🔗 SharePermalink →
I'd like to learn one of those clicking languages from Africa because I get the feeling my knees are trying to tell me something.#Africa0🔗 SharePermalink →
If the new Instagram logo makes you upset, wait until you hear about child soldiers in central Africa.#Africa#Kids#One-Liner0🔗 SharePermalink →
Do we even know how much anything else costs in Africa? Maybe $1 a day to feed a child is way too much.#Africa#Kids#One-Liner0🔗 SharePermalink →
When I get depressed about an underperforming tweet, I think about starving kids in Africa & how lucky they are to never experience my pain.#Africa0🔗 SharePermalink →
I still don't understand how finishing my food is going to save a starving child in Africa.#Africa#Food#Kids#One-Liner0🔗 SharePermalink →
I'm with you, Hungry Hungry Hippos. I don't find small plastic balls very filling, either. I can't believe this what you guys eat in Africa!#Africa#Food0🔗 SharePermalink →
look son... rome wasnt built in Ade!! rome was built in I-TA-LY. do u even kno where Ade is?! A-FRI-CA. AFRICA. how r u goimg to pass school#Rome#Africa#School0🔗 SharePermalink →
Say what you like about us Arabs, but at least we don't go to Africa and start naming lions 'Ahmad' and 'Hassan'.#Ahmad#Hassan#Africa#One-Liner0🔗 SharePermalink →
I'm starting a Kickstarter to bring a lion from Africa and let it loose in a dentist's office.#Africa#Animals#Work#Doctor+1 more0🔗 SharePermalink →
ANIMALS IT'S OK TO KILL IN AFRICA 1. Mosquitoes 2. Terminally ill zebra who signed a DNR 3. The Nazi monkey from Raiders of the Lost Ark#Africa#Animals0🔗 SharePermalink →
Hi Africa, it's America. A guy over here just ate 69 hotdogs in 10 minutes! How's everything going with you?#Africa#America#One-Liner0🔗 SharePermalink →
I hope no one tells the kids in Africa we have forums on our computers where we can just complain about stuff.#Africa#One-Liner0🔗 SharePermalink →
The thermostat was invented 125 years ago, but I have yet to work in an office with one that has anything but Africa and Sibera as settings.#Africa#Work0🔗 SharePermalink →
Does anyone have the address for starving kids in Africa? Our daughter doesn't want her waffle fries.#Africa#One-Liner0🔗 SharePermalink →