#africa

Black sheep A professor is sent to darkest Africa to live with a primitive tribe. He spends years with them, teaching them reading, writing, math and science. One day the wife of the tribe's chief gives birth to a white child. The tribe is shocked, and the chief pulls the professor aside and says, ""Look here! You're the only white man we've ever seen and this woman gives birth to a white child. It doesn't take a genius to figure out what happened!"" The professor replied, ""No, Chief. You're mi…

The art of hunting elephants (By profession) Hunting Elephants MATHEMATICIANS hunt elephants by going to Africa, throwing out everything that is not an elephant, and catching one of whatever is left. EXPERIENCED MATHEMATICIANS will attempt to prove the existence of at least one unique elephant before proceeding to step 1 as a subordinate exercise. PROFESSORS OF MATHEMATICS will prove the existence of at least one unique elephant and then leave the detection and capture of an actual elephant as a…

A Canadian, a Japanese and an American were out venturing the jungles of Africa... When they got caught trespassing by the natives in the area. The natives decided the penalty would be 100 spanks with a croquet bat. ""But you each shall get one wish."" said the Leader of the natives. The Canadian said ""I want 6 pillows taped to my ass."" and it was so. After the 70th spanking, the pillows fell apart and the Canadian had to take 30 spankings on his ass. ""At least I am a very creative person,"" …

This fella is on safari in Africa when he comes across an elephant lying on the ground, in distress. He investigates and finds a thorn in its foot. He removes it, and the elephant trots merrily away. Twenty years on, the man is standing in the street in London watching a circus procession pass by. When the elephant gets level with him, it stops, looks straight at him, reaches out with its trunk, lifts him bodily into the air, smashes him on the ground and jumps on him. It was a different elephan…

Monkey at the bar A guy walks into a bar with a monkey following him and hops up on the bar stool, followed by his monkey. He orders a drink for him and the monkey, and the monkey reaches over for the basket of peanuts. Monkey picks up a peanut, looks at it intently, sticks it up his butt, takes it out and eats it. The bartender looks at the monkey, horrified at what it just did, and then to the man who showed no reaction at all. The bartender shrugs it off. A little while passes and the guy goe…

A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder.. The bartender looks at him and says, ""Wow, that's pretty cool! Where'd you get it?"" The parrot replies, ""In Africa, they're everywhere!""

How do you start a rave in Africa? Glue toast to the ceiling

black man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder... the bartender says ""where did you get that?"" parrot says ""africa, where else?""

Kids from around the globe were asked to write an essay... and the teacher asked, ""Please write in your own opinion about the insufficient amount of food in other countries."" But none of the could write it. The kid from South America didn't know what 'please' was. The Asian kid didn't know what 'your own opinion' was. The European kid didn't know what the word 'insufficient' meant. The Kid from Africa didn't know what 'food' was. And the kid from North America had absolutely no clue what the h…

So a black man walks into a bar... A black man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender looks over, and then looks over at the parrot and says, ""holy shit where did you get that?"" The parrots like, ""Africa"".

An ethnically diverse group of people are doing something... An African-American, a Mexican-American, Jewish-American, and a white man are walking along the beach in Florida. One of them stumbles over a lamp and as he picks it up, a genie appears. The genie thanks them from freeing him from the lamp and offers them each a wish. The African-American says, ""My native land has suffered from all the people stolen away by slavery. I wish for all my people to be returned to Africa to start a new age …

Father and son talking: - Daddy, is it true that in some parts of Africa and Asia a man does not know the wife until marrying her? - Here too, my son. Here too ...

The elephant fight The biggest and baddest elephant in Africa had after shagging the nearest elephant lady, somehow contracted fleas and found them highly annoying. After rubbing his huge bulk against trees, and scratching with his trunk all the places he could reach, he asked for advice from an old monkey on how to get rid of the fleas. ""Just go to the nearest mudhole and take a good mud bath, that should solve the problem"" He went straight to the nearest mudhole, jumped into the mud and tras…

I thought I would go and help out in Africa... ...turns out they have enough aids.

There was this group on Facebook called Help the children in Africa who are suffering from the heat'. So I became a fan.

I don't get it, no one complains when Madonna and Angelina Jolie steal black kids from Africa.

People think that in Africa we ride lions and elephants to work. That's ridiculous, we don't have jobs.

I wanna go to Africa to see where rappers come from.

Do you know why there's no casinos in Africa? Because there's too many CHEETAHS!

What do u call 1,000 black people on a plane back to Africa? A good start.

Two missionaries in Africa were apprehended by a tribe of very hostile cannibals who put them in a large pot of water, built a huge fire under it, and left them there. A few minutes later, one of the missionaries started to laugh uncontrollably. The other missionary couldn't believe it! He said, ""What's wrong with you? We're being boiled alive! They're gonna eat us! What could possibly be funny at a time like this?"" The other missionary said, ""I just peed in the soup!""

A Jewish missionary went to Africa to educate a tribe of pygmies called Trids. After a few weeks, during the first full moon, the Rabbi noticed the Trids getting nervous. Then all of a sudden, a giant gorilla came out of the jungle and started kicking the Trids up in the trees. The Rabbi confronted the gorilla and said, ""Pick on someone your own size!"" The gorilla replied, ""Silly Rabbi, kicks are for Trids!""

A Russian arrives in New York City as a new immigrant to the United States . He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, ""Thank you Mr. American for letting me into this country, giving me housing, food stamps, free medical care, and a free education!"" The passerby says, ""You are mistaken, I am a Mexican."" The man goes on and encounters another passerby. ""Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in America ."" The person says, ""I not American, I Vietnamese…

A Somalian arrives in Minneapolis as a new immigrant to the United States. He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, ""Thank you Mr. American for letting me in this country, giving me housing, food stamps, free medical care, and free education!"" The passerby says, ""You are mistaken, I am Mexican."" The man goes on and encounter s another passerby. ""Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in America!"" The person says, ""I not American, I Vietnamese."" The …

A Jewish missionary went to Africa to educate a tribe of pygmies calledTrids. After a few weeks, during the first full moon, the Rabbi noticed theTrids getting nervous. Then all of a sudden, a giant gorilla came out ofthe jungle and started kicking the Trids up in the trees. The Rabbiconfronted the gorilla and said, ""Pick on someone your own size!"" The gorillareplied, ""Silly Rabbi, kicks are for Trids!""