#south-america

Dora the explorers parents don't give any kind of shit about Dora. She's 7 and she's flying planes and shit to South America with a monkey!

- grabs leash - grabs phone - takes dog out for walk - pulls out phone - checks Twitter - walks dog to South America

Just blocked all users from Central & South America. I doubt this "Zika" virus can spread thru social media but why take the risk?

Penguin visits the desert. A penguin living on the southernmost tip of South America decides he's been freezing his ass off for far too long. He decides to rent a car and take a road trip up the West coast to warmer destinations. Eventually he winds up in San Diego, where he sees a sign for Las Vegas and decides he'd like to find out what all the fuss is about. So he's driving his rental across the desert, when smoke starts to pour out of the hood. Cursing, he looks over to realize that he's rig…

The Foo Bird A group of explorers traveled to South America in order to find El Dorado and other places of great fortune. On the first day, they met up with the locals in the town they were staying in. There the locals warned them of the dangers of the jungle, specifically the Foo bird. During their first hike into the jungle, one of the explorers suddenly shouted out in disgust, for he had been covered in a gigantic bird dropping. One of the locals in the group pointed out that the Foo bird had…

Coke There's a white guy a Latino and a black guy who come across a Genie. He tells them they each get one wish. Latino's wish is for all his people to be back in south America out of the US. Poof... Wish granted. Black dude wishes all African Americans back to Africa. Poof.... Wish granted. White dude ask that all spics and niggers are out of the US.... Wishes for a coke.

I like my women like i like my coffee.. Ground up on the back of an alpaca somewhere in south america.

I like my girls like I like my coffee... Fresh, not matured, and sold from a shady part of South America.

What pokemon does South America have that other continents don't? Zikachu.

Two cowboys are at a saloon in the Old West. After a long day of shootin, tootin, and high-falootin, they've settled down for a conversation over the finest beer in the frontier.   One says to the other, ""You ever ate a banana?"" The second cowboy replies, ""No, I hain't. What's a banana?"" ""Well, it's this new, shiny, bright yella fruit, that a bunch of ex-plor-ators found in the South America. Darn tasty, too. I'll get one to ye.""   Months pass. The two cowboys meet again …

A recent Forbes study. Forbes magazine recently did an international consumer study, something that happens quite often. However what separated this study from others is that instead of only looking at buying trends and per capita purchasing, this study looked into the reasons behind these trends. One interesting trend that was found in this study was that the South West coast of South America was purchasing the most jackets, sweaters, and scarves per capita; this was a strange trend as South Am…

Last month, the UN conducted a worldwide survey. The only question asked was: ""*Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?*"" The survey was a HUGE failure. * In Africa, they didn't know what ""food"" meant. * In Eastern Europe, they didn't know what ""honest"" meant. * In Western Europe, they didn't know what ""shortage"" meant. * In China, they didn't know what ""opinion"" meant. * In the Middle East, they didn't know what ""soluti…

What is black and white and is nearest to South America O-Rio

I went to South America and bought some frozen peppers. Chile's chilly chilis

Northerners Once upon a time, in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days. Eventually, Archangel Michael found him on the seventh day resting. He enquired of God, 'Where have you been?' God pointed downwards through the clouds. Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, 'What is it?' 'It's a planet,' replied God, 'and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance.' 'Balance?' inquired Michael, still confused. God explained, pointing dow…

How many people live in South America? A Brazillion

Man: Lima is a capital city in South America. Woman: Peru-ve it!

I just got married and our bed is South America My wife gets Brazil, and I get Chile.

In South America, how many women get waxed per year? A Brazilian.

There's an airplane flying from North America to South America... ... after a while over South America the captain makes an announcement: ""Dear passengers, in a few minutes we will experience some turbulences, please stay seated and wait for further information!"" Some minutes later the plane shakes and moves from right to left, up and down. The captain again: ""Ok, you felt the turbulences; we are too heavy to continue this flight and will have to lose weight immediately in order not to crash …

Another blonde joke So as many of you know in South America has opposite Seasons than the U.S so this blonde was on vacation in Argentina and asked her tour guide. ''I know the seasons are different here so what month is it ''

A fugitive in Russia The room was packed. Military officials, informants, and members of the cabinet surrounded the President, anxiously waiting for the situation's broadcasting to begin. A man walked into the room, his striped suit sleek but worn in that way that seems particular to those with stressful jobs. ""Mr. President, we've got good news, and bad news,"" he announced, steadily yet nervously stepping to his place at the front of the room. ""Walt, you know I, uhhh, value your opinion. You…

Northerners Once upon a time, in the Kingdom of Heaven God went missing for six days. Eventually, Archangel Michael found him on the seventh day, resting. He enquired of God, 'Where have you been?' God pointed downwards through the clouds. Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, 'What is it?' 'It's a planet,' replied God, 'and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance.' 'Balance?' inquired Michael, still confused.God explained, pointing do…

Kids from around the globe were asked to write an essay... and the teacher asked, ""Please write in your own opinion about the insufficient amount of food in other countries."" But none of the could write it. The kid from South America didn't know what 'please' was. The Asian kid didn't know what 'your own opinion' was. The European kid didn't know what the word 'insufficient' meant. The Kid from Africa didn't know what 'food' was. And the kid from North America had absolutely no clue what the h…

Two assassins are hired to kill a dictator in South America. They follow his every move for months, and find out that every day at noon he goes outside and does his stretching exercises. So the assassins set up shop right across the street, get all of their sights set, load the guns, and have everything ready to go. Noon comes, no dictator... 10 minutes longer... no dictator. One assassin turns to the other and says, ""Gee, I hope nothing happened to him.""