#peru

Fortune Teller: I see a trip in your future Me [cancelling a week-long trip to Peru]: haha nope. wrong, idiot. [fall down stairs as I leave]

There once was a man from Peru Whose limerick was three lines too few.

A letter from home Dear Bala I am writing this letter slowly because I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we lived when you left home. Your father read in the newspaper that most accidents happen 20 miles from home, so we moved 20 miles. When we moved here, I brought the house number from the old house so our address will remain the same here also. This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine above the toilet. I'm not sure it works because last week I put in 3 shirts and p…

Lymeric Joke (courtesy of a friend) Here's a joke my friend told me: There was once a man from Peru, who's limericks end at line two He went on to tell me: There once was a man from Verdun He also told me that there was a limerick about Emperor Nero, but he didn't know it

What country does every one called Andy come from? Peru, because it's the home of the Andes!

Man: Lima is a capital city in South America. Woman: Peru-ve it!

Dirty limerick... There was a girl from Peru Grammar to her was new She asked after the deed With her mouth full of seed Did I just blow or blew?

There was an old man from Peru... whose limericks all end on line two.

What's yellow comes from Peru and is completely unknown ? Waterloo Bear Paddington Bear's forgotten cousin !

Here's one you might know... There once was a man from Peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe he woke with a fright in the middle of the night to find that his dream had come true.

The blue gorilla. (Shaggy dog joke) The Blue Gorilla. (Warning, very long) there was once a great photographer, who prided himself on taking a picture of every animal on earth, from the most common bug, to the rarest fish . Well one day, at a big party celebrating the Photographer’s 1,000,000th picture, an old man approached the photographer. “So” he said, “You’ve photographed every animal on earth have you?” “Yep” he said “Every one”. the old man looked at him with doubt. “How about the Purp…

A man walks into a bar and orders three drinks. The barman serves him and then watches as the man alternates between each drink until all three are empty. "Why do you drink them in that fashion?" asks the barman. The man replies "I have two brothers, and they've both recently moved away. One is in Portugal, and the other is in Peru. But we've decided that we should still all drink together once a week, so right now my brothers are doing the exact same thing." The barman, thinking it a wonder…

There once was a man from Peru, Whose limericks stopped at line two.

there were three race horses; ernie, bill, and ted. the three of them were good friends; they enjoyed racing each other and generally won and lost to each other equally. every evening, after the races, they went to a local bar to relax and drink some beer. they would often discuss racing techniques, their families, etc. one season, bill wasn't doing so well. he rarely beat the other two, and was worried that he'd be sent to the glue factory if his luck didn't change. one night, at the bar,…

Four "Limericks" There once was a girl from Lahore Whose limericks stopped at line four. When asked why this was, She responded, "Because..." --- There was a young man from Tyree Whose limericks stopped at line three, and try as he might, --- I met a nice chap from Peru Whose limericks stopped at line two, --- I once met a man from Verdun

My grandmother's favorite joke A priest dies and arrives in heaven. Here, a couple of angels greet him, shake his hand, and welcome him. A few moments later, a drunken Peruvian bus driver appears. He is welcomed with a celebration, fireworks, and God himself comes to welcome him. At this point, the priest, somewhat offended, approaches God and says, 'Excuse me, I served the church and your name for an entire lifetime, and I am welcomed worse than this man?' God responds, 'Your church was n…

Ornithologists in Peru have discovered that owls hunt there in pairs They're Inca hoots.

Why hasn't Peru adopted LED lights yet? Because they are proud of their incan descent.

Boxed In There was a young girl from Peru

(OC) What did the auditors say to the South American shopkeeper?,"Hello I'm here to Peru-se your inventory.

(OC) What did the auditors say to the South American shopkeeper? Hello, I'm here to Peru-se your inventory.