#spain

Spain at the 2014 World Cup

Three England fans on their way to the world cup fin a magic lamp.. Three England fans on their way to the world cup find a magic lamp on the road, the first one picks it up and a genie comes out! "England fans?!" says the genie, puzzled at how they made it to the world cup.. "Well I guess you get one wish each like everyone else. What do you choose?" The first England fan blurts out, "Rooney! I want Wayne Rooney to break his World Cup curse and finally score!" "Done" says the genie. The s…

Top 20 worst jokes ever !!!! The 20 Worst Jokes Ever! 1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The Ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent. 2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve You, but don't start anything." 3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted. 4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra. 5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road." 6. Two canniba…

A woman gets accidentally pregnant as a teenager and ends up giving birth to twin boys... Unfortunately, she is forced to give them up for adoption since she doesn't have the resources to support them, and the father wants nothing to do with them since he is a teenager himself. In the hope that she will get to see them some day, she leaves her personal information with the adoption agency just in case the boys want to meet their biological mother in the future. One of the boys gets adopted by a…

A couple decides to go on vacation. A couple from London decides to go on a vacation together to Spain. Due to a sudden change in the wife's work schedule the husband decides to fly first and the wife will join him a couple of days later. As the husband arrives weather is great and he feels kind of bad for his wife still working at home so he immediately decides to send her a letter. Unfortunately the letter by mistake gets sent to the grieving widow next door. Being old and still in shock aft…

A husband and wife are unable to have children, so they decide to adopt... They eventually find a boy from Spain named Juan, and bring him back to America to live with them. Years later, they learn from the adoption agency that Juan has a twin brother, who was raised by an Arab family. His parents were tragically killed, so the boy, named Amal, needs a home to live. So, since they wanted another kid anyways, they decide to adopt him. The husband and wife are looking through the adoption pape…

The Matador's Special A man on a business trip in Spain decides to take in a bull fight. After the event, he stops in to the little restaurant next to the venue called "The Matador". As he checks out the menu trying to decide what he wants, he sees a waiter bring a dish to another customer. The other customer starts eating what appear to be two large meatballs with great gusto. When the waiter comes to his table, the man asks about the dish. "Oh Senor, that is the Matador Special," replies th…

Twins. A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan". Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named “Ahmal.” The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him “Juan.” Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, They’re twins! If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Ahmal.”

Joke from Spain (forgive my English) There was once a married couple that wanted a divorce, and they were arguing about who would keep the child. "I birthed the child, therefore it's mine!" Says the wife. "That's not true, you're not the mother!" Replies the husband. "Oh, and I suppose you claim to be the real father then?" Says the wife. "No, I actually don't know who the real parents are," replies the husband. The wife is surprised at this and so asks what he means by that. "Well," he repli…

A British man, a French man and a Spanish man are caught stealing in a foreign country. They are prosecuted and the judge sentences them all to 100 lashes each. However he wants to look lenient in the eyes of their respective countries so he reduces the lashes to twenty and allows them to have two requests each before being lashed. The Spanish is first to be lashed and requests a bottle of tequila and a pillow strapped to his back. They let him drink the tequila and strap the pillow to his ba…

Top 10 worst jokes! The 20 Worst Jokes Ever! 1.Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The Ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent. 2.A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve You, but don't start anything." 3.Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted. 4.A dyslexic man walks into a bra. 5.A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road." 6.Two cannibals are eating…

Scottish couple decided to go to Spain A Scottish couple decided to go to Spain to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier, but because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Glasgow and flew to Barcelona on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel, and there was a computer in his room, so he decide…

A Woman was touring Spain A woman was touring Spain, and she wanted to eat a unique exotic dish typical for Spain. A waiter says "Madam, we have balls of a bull killed in a bullfight." She orders them, and she gets this plate with gigantic balls, and eats them up. She loved them so much, that next day she came in and ordered the same dish again. And she does same thing the next day, and the day after that. On the 5th day, she orders same thing, and they bring her the plate and the balls look sm…

My Wife and I went to Spain. The other week I went to Barcelona for a vacation with my wife. We stayed at a small local hotel about 30 minutes from the city. The first day we had a great time going around las ramblas and going taking pictures at La Sagrada familia. That night we even attended a Barcelona game against Real Madrid. It was a great game, but unfortunately ended in a draw. We took a taxi back to the hotel, but on the way I started to feel funny. I had some pains in my chest and felt…

A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal. A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, ''But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, yo…

Recently, I was flying into Barcelona from London, and as we were descending to land we passed through some very dark clouds. The plane began to be buffeted by turbulence like I’ve never experienced before in my life. Suddenly, a blinding light exploded outside and an explosion of noise enveloped us. Lighting had struck the plane! The cabin erupted in screams and cries as the plane dropped hundreds of feet in a single moment, but the worse was yet to come. The strike seemed to have impacted th…

There was an interesting legal dispute between Portugal and Denmark Portugal had sold off some of their fishing rights to the Danish government. There were many details and stipulations, things about the size of the nets, number of boats, locations, environmental protections, types of fish to be caught, etc etc. But the one that became relevant was about the usage of the fish. See, Portugal wasn't making that much money off of selling certain fish as food anyway, but they did want to retain c…

Daughter asked me "dad, why don't you treat me like a princess." So I married her off to the King of Spain in exchange for 5000 acres on the Costa del Sol.

I was telling my German colleague about how my parents, who were living in Spain, kept having problems with eagles killing their chickens. Me: yeah, these eagles come down out of the mountains, they steal the chickens right out of the pen! Frank: an eagle!? AN EAGLE DOES THIS!? Me: yes, they have eagles over there, mad isn't it? Frank: AN EAGLE IS STEALING THE CHICKENS? Me: errr, yeah, they're predators you know? Frank: THEY ARE PREDATORS? Me: yeah, and they fly down and kill the chickens…

People always ask where I got my incredibly detailed tattoo done People always ask where I got my incredibly detailed tattoo done, but they never believe me when I tell them Spain. Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision.

I let some of my friends use my high quality printer from Spain. When I told them where it was from, they all gasped in shock. Because no-one expects the Spanish ink precision!

A woman has twin boys and gives them up for adoption. The first goes to a family in Egypt, which names him Ahmal. The second goes to a family in Spain, which names him Juan. Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Excited at receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

I’m ready for a holiday. Paddy says to Mick, “I’m ready for a holiday, only this year I'm going to do it a bit different. 3 years ago I went to Spain and Mary got pregnant. 2 years ago I went to Italy and Mary got pregnant, last year I went to Majorca and Mary got pregnant." Mick asks, "So what are you going to do this year?" Paddy replies, "I'll bloody take her with me!"

People always ask where I got my incredibly detailed tattoo done, but they never believe me when I tell them Spain. Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision.