#india

Captain America outsources much of his crime fighting to Captain India.

So sick of not knowing if a girl's single. We need a symbol "Rings?" Not visible enough "Screw it, lets put a dot on their foreheads" -India

Meanwhile India is just blown away that you can get Britain to leave by voting

"i used to live in india, now I live in indiana" "is there a difference?" "na"

Failed my Politics exam. "Describe the role that India plays in the modern world". Apparently "Tech Support" is not the correct answer.

"Operator, run this licence plate please Echo Alpha Tango Alpha Delta India Charlie Kilo" - Me, if I was a cop on the day I got fired.

Went to India and let me tell you, never seen so many taxi drivers in my life!They work in restaurants, banks even in hospitals over there.

India launched a rocket to Mars this morning. That's a heck of a place to put a call centre.

Columbus: SO THIS IS INDIA Natives: actually it's no- C: HI INDIANS N: no see, we are nowhere near- C: INDIA IS FUN LETS EAT YOUR FOOD

Grading system for students in India: A - Average B - Below average C - Can't have dinner D - Don't come home F - Find a new family

I will be celebrating Columbus Day by setting sail for India, landing in Spain, and telling everyone who lives there to move out.

Most populated places in the world: 1. China 2. India 3. United States 4. Indonesia 5. Friend Zone 6. Hell

Why do people assume I know all about computers just because I'm from India? That makes so I angry I just want to 01010010101010101010101

"I wish some random guy from India would DM me!" -no girl, ever

Wife: Did you pay the mortgage yet? Me: Do you think surfers in India are called Hindudes? Wife: What? Me: What? Communication is hard

*kneels to pray* "Hello, God?" "YOU'VE REACHED CUSTOMER SUPPORT." "Who is this?" "MY NAME IS BRAD." "Are you in Heaven, Brad?" "NO, INDIA."

We've all talked to this guy!! Mujibar was trying to get a job in India. The Personnel Manager said; ""Mujibar, you have passed all the tests, except one. It is a simple test of your English language skill. Unless you pass it, you cannot qualify for this job."" Mujibar said, ""I am ready."" The manager said, "" You must make a sentence using the words yellow, pink, and green."" Mujibar thought for a few minutes and said. ""Mister Manager, I am ready."" The Manager said. ""Go ahead."" Mujibar sai…

Kiss and heal A young couple and another old couple were traveling in a 2nd AC coach train in India. The older couple was allotted the upper berth while the young couple was on the lower one. Just before going to bed the young man goes over to his wife's berth to give her a good night kiss. While getting up from his berth, he loses his balance and falls over the girl. She starts complaining about it and says that she's hurt her wrist. The guy gets up and lovingly kisses her on her wrist and asks…

Overworked Employee in India

Justin Bieber is on a game show... He is asked the question; ""what is one of the most popular pieces of clothing in India?"" Bieber's mind is racing, well as fast as his mind can race, but the timer buzzes. Time is up. Put out, Bieber cries out, ""Is it too late to say sari?""

LPT: Learn the military alphabet Please learn it. It'll save you so much time on the phone. Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, Delta, Echo, Foxtrot, Golf, Hotel, India, Juliet, Kilo, Lima, Mike, November, Oscar, Papa, Quebec, Romeo, Sierra, Tango, Uniform, Victor, Whiskey, X-Ray, Yankee, and Zulu. Ever tried to spell something out and the other person mixes around letters? SNot F, S! S as in Sam! That doesn't work. Sierra, Echo, November, Delta, November, Uniform, Delta, Echo, Sierra. Works like a charm. ED…

Why did the cannibal get food poisoning in India? He ate Rameet!

I met one of my beautiful Maths teacher yesterday We greeted and she asked me directions to the State Bank of India. I told her make a 299 degrees turn and walk for 290 meters, then subtend the angle of X using Pythagoras Theorem and round it up to the nearest degree using tan . From that point, draw a parabolic curve and walk 342 meters on its major axis and bisect the straight road at an obtuse angle. That's where the bank is. Let her feel what I felt when I was in school

The Commonwealth is like a family party... There's the UK, the old Grandma sat down in her chair the whole time, letting her children get on with their lives, no matter how bad it gets. Some adore her, but some don't like what she did when they were young. Then there's Australia, the drunk Uncle in a Hawaiian shirt, but everyone respects him really. Canada's there as well, the smartly dressed man who has never done anything wrong, most people joke about him, but respects him. There's India as we…

In India, you don't drive on the left of the road.. you drive on what is left on the road.