#india

Columbus didn't get to India because he was dis-Oriented He found the Americas by Occident.

Dad, I'm in love with a boy who is far away from me. I am in India and he lives in Alaska. We met on a dating website, became friends on facebook, had long chats on whatsapp, he proposed to me on skype, and now we've had 2 months of relationship through viber. I need your blessings and good wishes daddy .................. Dad said: Wow! Really!! then get married on twitter, have fun on tango. Buy your kids on e-bay, receive them thru gmail. And if you are fed up with your husband.... sell him on…

A Husband working in UK wrote to his wife in India. Dear Sunita Darling, I can't send you my salary this month because the global market crisis has affected my Company's performance, so I am sending 100 kisses. You are my sweetheart, please understand and adjust with this situation. Your loving husband, His wife replied Hey hubby Thanks for the 100 kisses. Below is the list of expenses I paid with the Kisses 1. The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for one month's milk. 2. The electricity man, agreed …

So the God had commandments and wanted to give them to people... He came down to Earth and first went to India and said ""I have commandments. You want some""? They said ""I don't know what you have are good; but tell us one"". God said ""Thou shalt have no other gods before me!"". The Indians laughed and said ""We already have millions of Gods here. Not interested!"" Then he went to France and said ""I have commandments for you"" The French said ""Show us one of what you have"". He said ""Thou …

When negro baby says the first word... In India it's fact that every baby's first word is 'mother' or 'mom'. Once a negro and his wife settled in India. They had a baby too. One day the baby said it's first word 'Mother'. The negro then said joyfully to his wife 'Yo man, the baby just said half the word...'

Dog poop There is a city in India where dog poop is used as currency instead of paper money. One day in this city a man really wanted to buy a woven basket for his wife and he knew that a store near him was having a basket sale. So the day before he went, he fed his dog two big meals knowing that the next day he could count on two big dog poops to pay with. The following day, he walked down to the store with his dog; set on buying this beautiful woven basket for his wife. He entered the store an…

If the World Trade Center was in India.... Would the terrorist attack be on 7/11?

Army commando recruitment - from India A Man was being interviewed for the post of a Commando in Army. Interviewer: ""We want a person with a suspicious mind; always alert, merciless; ready to attack; high sense of hearing & most importantly; having a killer instinct. So Do you think you are eligible?"" Man: ""No Sir; but can my Wife apply?""

Q & A with Ms Sonia Ghandi Ms Sonia Ghandi is visiting a school. She goes to one class, gives a brief statement and says to the class full of rural children, ""Ask me anything!"" So Pappu stands up. ""Madam Sonia-ji, I have three questions. One, why are you not the prime minister of India; Two, who ordered the police to attack the peaceful demonstrators at Ramlila Maidan; Three, how much money do you have in your Swiss bank accounts."" Before Ms Ghandi can answer, the lunch bell rings. So af…

An Indian army camp receives a new commander... One time there was an army camp in India that just received a new commander. During the new commanders first inspection everything checked out except one thing. There was a camel tied to a tree on the edge of the camp. The commander asked what it was for, one of the soldiers who had been stationed there for a while explained to him that the men sometimes get lonely since there where no woman there so they have the camel. The commander just let that…

Mujibar get a job in India Mujibar was trying to get a job in India . The Personnel Manager said, 'Mujibar, you have to show you are proficient in the English language. Please make a sentence using the words: Yellow, Pink, and Green.' Mujibar responded, 'The telephone goes green, green, I pink it up, and say, Yellow! This is Mujibar.' Mujibar now works at a call center. No doubt you have spoken to him.

A guy moves to the US from India After a few weeks he gets really sick and starts throwing up and having trouble sleeping. He finally decides to go to a doctor and explains his situation. The doctor runs some tests and they all come back normal. After thinking about it for a while, the doctor says ""ok, I think I have a solution. Go home and take a shit into a bucket. Stick your head into the bucket and keep it there for a half hour. I bet you will feel better almost immediately."" The Indian ma…

I came back from holiday in India with a really heavy case of diarrhea... ...but they wouldn't let me take it through customs.

McDonald's is opening their first restaurant in India. Employees must ask if you want flies with every order.

""Q. Why were India kicked out of the Soccer world Cup held in England in 1966 ? A. Every time they were given a corner, they built a shop.""

Difference between rain in India and USA is that in USA the water disappears in 5 minutes. In India the road disappears in 5 minutes

A company in India is releasing the first-ever ""smart shoe"" that connects with Google Maps to track your footsteps. ""Merry Christmas,"" said your wife.

India launched a rocket to Mars yesterday... That's a heck of a place to put a call center.

The Obama Administration just created 100 million jobs @ Dell and Comcast by cutting power in India.

I would like to apologize to all my American Friends for the Power Blackout in India. Electricity is now restored and your Customer Service & Tech Support is now up & running.

Bulls from all over India sent a petition to SC asking it to classify them as 'Jallikatu Bulls'.

Pakistan army will never try to win the war against India, someone told them winner has to speak English on live television.

Part of rebuilding New Orleans causes residents to often be challenged with the task of tracing home titles back potentially hundreds of years. With a community rich with history stretching back over two centuries, houses have been passed along through generations of family, sometimes making it quite difficult to establish ownership. Here's a great letter an attorney wrote to the FHA on behalf of a client; You've got to love this lawyer...... A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client.…

A Japanese company ( Toyota ) and an American company (General Motors decided to have a canoe race on the Missouri River Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance before the race. On the big day, the Japanese won by a mile. The Americans, very discouraged and depressed, decided to investigate the reason for the crushing defeat. A management team made up of senior management was formed to investigate and recommend appropriate action. Their conclusion was the Japanese had …

Q: How many Sagittarians does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Look ask me when I get back from India okay?