#india

Ingenuity Just heard that the Chinese have got to know about Indians planning to boycott Chinese products. So they are now mass producing stickers saying ""Boycott Chinese products"" to sell those stickers in India!!

Bill Gates resigns! *Bill Gates has resigned as the 'Chairman of Microsoft' after receiving a letter from kuppuswamy. It reads*: *Saar*, I have some questions for you.... Please *yanswer* them: *Nambar wan*) The keyboard alphabets are not in order, when will you launch the correct version? *Nambar too*) There is yeh 'Start' button... but no 'Stop' button... Rascalaa, where it is? *Nambar tree*) I have already learned Microsoft Word, when are you "" *laanching*"" Microsoft Sentence? *Nambar for*)…

a pakistani soldier enlists in the army , ( xpost - india ) A Pakistani soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3 day pass.The CO says, ""Are you crazy? You just joined the Pakistani army, and you already want a 3 day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!"" So the soldier comes back a day later in an Indian tank! The CO was so impressed, he asked, ""How did you do it?"" ""Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the border with the Indians. I approac…

Why are there so many doctors in India? Because about 20 million people are Sikh.

Solution to overpopulation Professor : ""Over population is a big problem in our country. A woman in India gives birth every minute!"" Student : ""Somebody should stop her!!""

Why the population in India is exploding these days? Because everyone over there is doing IT!

What country has the shittiest beaches? India.

what does a son tell to his mother when he's leaving his house in India? Mumbai

69 years ago both India and Pakistan got independence on this day. Indians have become heads of Google, Microsoft, Pepsico, Jaguar, Land Rover and Pakistanis have become heads of Taliban, Al-Qaeda, Jammat U Dawa, Hijbul Mujahideen Also India entered Mars but Pakistan still trying to enter India.

I told my friend not to play Pokemon Go in India You won't just find a Pikachu there, you'll also find a gang banging you.

A missionary came to my door asking if I could help with the floods in India. I said sure, but my garden hose only reaches to the end of the driveway.

I was worried about the price of bread in India But then I realized it's a naan issue.

The official carriers of India and Pakistan. because of the risk factors: Pakistan International Airlines or PIA is expanded to Please Inform Allah. Air India or AI is expanded to Already Informed.

How many Americans does it take to change a light bulb? None. According to Trump, they outsourced it to India & China.

""What is the fastest thing you know?"" the interviewer asked to 4 candidates. Dave, the American, replied,""A THOUGHT"". It just pops into your head. There's no warning that it's on the way; it's just there. A thought is the fastest thing I know of."" ""That's very good!"" replied the interviewer. ""And now you sir?"" he asked Vladimir , the Russian. ""Hmm... let me see. A blink! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know. ""Excellent!"" said…

IF It's a Hot Girl On Fb In India.. Damn It's A man IF a young Beautiful girl from India sent you a friend Request in Facebook please reject ""HIM""

Mujibar was trying to get a job in India . The Personnel Manager said, 'Mujibar, you have passed all the tests, except one. It is a simple test of your English language skills. Unless you pass it, you cannot qualify for this job.' Mujibar said, 'I am ready.' The manager said, 'You must make a sentence using the words YELLOW, PINK, and GREEN.' Mujibar thought for a few minutes and said, 'Mister manager, I am ready.' The manager said, 'Go ahead.' Mujibar said, 'The telephone goes GREEN, GREEN , an…

What do steaks and pot brownies have in common? If you eat either of them in India you'll get stoned.

Pricey set of teeth A tourist was admiring a tribal necklace at a gift shop during her honeymoon in India. ""What is it made of?"" she asked. ""Crocodile teeth"" the salesman beamed. ""I suppose,"" she said patronizingly, ""that crocodile teeth mean as much to you as pearls do to us"" ""Of course not!"" he objected. ""Anybody can open an oyster""

It is too hot in India now There's a cap for that.

When I worked at Ford... (true story) When I worked at Ford, I had a team member from India named Agus. But then he got transferred to the crankshaft damper team. So I said ""I guess what is good for Agus is good for a damper!""

An Indian man walks into a NYC bank and asks for the loan officer. He tells the loan officer that he is going to India for some business for 2 weeks and needs to borrow $5000 The loan officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan. So the Indian man hands over the keys and the documents to his new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank. The loan officer consults the president of the bank, and everything checks out to be OK. The loan officer agrees to acce…

Kim Kardashian arrives in India for the first time, she walks out of the airport, and to her surprise, everyone on the streets stops, turns towards her, and kneels in humility and reverence Little did she know, they worship cows over there!

No joke, I'm in India This is no joke, I took a long light to India after a long time. I see so many lines, long lines of cars and buses, lines for shopping. etc. No punchline.

Homesick Indian Haji comes to the United States from India, and he's only here a few months when he becomes very ill. He goes to doctor after doctor, but none of them can help him. Finally, he goes to an Indian doctor. The doctor says, ""Take dis bucket, go into de other room, shit in de bucket, piss on de shit, and then put your head down over de bucket and breathe in de fumes for ten minutes."" Haji takes the bucket, goes into the other room, shits in the bucket, pisses on the shit, bends over…