#pakistan

Telling a woman that you want to "rock her body" means something completely different in Pakistan.

What's up with these people in Pakistan getting stoned to death? What kind of weed are they growing there?

[2011, pakistan, seal team 6 enters the compound] "chief, something has brought the boys to the yard" bin laden [making a milkshake]: SHIT

*Makes typo* *Deletes tweet* *Deletes account* *Destroys computer* *Changes name* *Moves to Pakistan* *Opens a curry shop*

Little Johnny is sitting in geography class when the teacher asks him, ""Where is Pakistan?"" He replies ""Outside playing with Paki-Dave.""

Today I was asked by a Red Cross member if I could help towards the floods in Pakistan I said I would, but I don't have a hose that reaches that far

Reports of terrible flooding in Pakistan Authorities fear it was the work of a suicide plumber

Trump's first day at the Oval Office after being elected President First briefing to the President by CIA, Pentagon, FBI: Trump: We must destroy ISIS immediately. No delays. CIA: We cannot do that, sir. We created them along with Turkey, Iran, Qatar and others. Trump: The Democrats created them. CIA: We created ISIS, sir. You need them or else you would lose funding from the natural gas lobby. Trump: Stop funding Pakistan. Let India deal with them. CIA: We can't do that. Trump: Why is that? CIA:…

Trump's first day at Oval office..... ........after being elected President. First briefing by the CIA, Pentagon, FBI: Trump: We must destroy ISIS immediately. No delays. CIA: We cannot do that, sir. We created them along with Turkey, Saudi, Qatar and others. Trump: The Democrats created them. CIA: We created ISIS, sir. You need them or else you would lose funding from the natural gas lobby. Trump: Stop funding Pakistan. Let India deal with them. CIA: We can't do that. Trump: Why is that? CIA: I…

Pakistan launches a rocket to Moon. Pakistani News channel reports: ""Water and fishes found on Moon."" BBC reports: ""Pakistani satellite found in Arab sea.""

My friend from Pakistan said he hates his job and can't take it anymore ""It will get better"", I said. ""You have your whole life ahead of you. You're only 12 years old.""

If Trump becomes president, I'm moving to Pakistan! hehehehe......

Two beggars in London Ali and Habib are beggars. They beg in different areas of London ... Habib begs just as long as Ali does, but only collects 2 to 3 every day. Ali brings home a suitcase FULL of 10 notes, drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage-free house and has a lot of money to spend. Habib asks Ali :- 'I work just as long and hard as you do but how is it that you bring home a suitcase full of 10 notes every day?' Ali says, 'Look at your sign, what does it say'? Habib's sign reads 'I have …

69 years ago both India and Pakistan got independence on this day. Indians have become heads of Google, Microsoft, Pepsico, Jaguar, Land Rover and Pakistanis have become heads of Taliban, Al-Qaeda, Jammat U Dawa, Hijbul Mujahideen Also India entered Mars but Pakistan still trying to enter India.

An Afghan, upon landing at Islamabad Airport, introduced himself to a Pakistan Immigration Officer, as Ex-Minister of Ports & Shipping of Afghanistan. The surprised Pakistani Officer asked:""But there is no sea in Afghanistan. How can you be the Ex-Minister of Ports & Shipping.?"" The Afghan replied: ""Wallah ya Habibi, don't you have a Minister for Law & Justice in Pakistan.?""

The official carriers of India and Pakistan. because of the risk factors: Pakistan International Airlines or PIA is expanded to Please Inform Allah. Air India or AI is expanded to Already Informed.

Did you hear about the problem in Pakistan where smoking a scorpion gets you high? Well only the men get high, the women get stoned

Depression I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, Social Security, retirement funds, and everything that I called the Suicide Lifeline. I was forwarded to a call centre in Pakistan and when I told them I was suicidal, they asked if I could drive a truck...

We are Trumped Trump's first day at the Oval Office. First briefing by the CIA, Pentagon, FBI: Trump: We must destroy ISIS immediately. CIA: We cannot do that, sir. We created them along with Turkey, Saudi, Qatar and others. Trump: The Democrats created them. CIA: We created ISIS, sir. You need them or else you would lose funding from the natural gas lobby. Trump: Stop funding Pakistan. Let India deal with them. CIA: We can't do that. It is Modi in India and not Manmohan. Trump: So what? CIA: Mo…

best funny prank pakistan you cannot stop your laughing nice one

Suicide hotline The other day I was feeling real sad and depressed... It got so bad I had to call a suicide hotline. They put me through to some guy in Pakistan and I was so upset I told him what I was going through. I don't think he heard a word I said, he just got really excited and asked me if I was any good at diving a truck

TIL Mine sweeper (game) was invested in Pakistan

An Afghan lands at a Pakistani airport, and walks up to the immigration desk. He introduces himself to a Pakistan Immigration Officer, as Ex-Minister of Ports & Shipping of Afghanistan. The surprised Pakistani Officer asks: ""But there is no sea in Afghanistan. How can you be the Ex-Minister of Ports & Shipping.?"" The Afghan replies: ""Wallah ya Habibi, don't you have a Minister for Law & Justice in Pakistan?""

International airline acronyms Italy ALITALIA = Always Late In The Air, Late In Arrival ALITALIA = Arrived Late In Turin, And Luggage In Australia Britain BOAC = Better on a camel Belgium SABENA = Such A Bloody Experience Never Again Pakistan PIA = Please, Inform Allah Yugoslavia JAT = Joke About Time Pacific Western Airlines PWA = Pray While Aloft PWA = Please Wait Awhile Airlines Trans World Airlines = Teeney Weeny Airlines.

Why are Pakistan not allowed to play football? Because every time they get a corner they set up a shop.