#red-cross

FUN PRANK: Replace signs for Red Cross Blood Drive line with "iPhone 6 in Stock" and watch the shenanigans ensue.

[1665] ME:Make it enormous "But if I paint a red cross on ur door, ppl will think you've got the plague & never visit" ME:Make it enormous

Red cross: would you like to volunteer to give blood? Me: oh, no thank you, I already involuntarily give blood 5 days out of the month

Today I was asked by a Red Cross member if I could help towards the floods in Pakistan I said I would, but I don't have a hose that reaches that far

I tried to donate blood to the Red Cross the other day... ...but they wouldn't accept it in a 5 gallon bucket. They also said it had to be mine.

A man got lost on a camping trip. Rescuers scoured the wilderness until a medical emergency team finally spotted a solitary figure across a wide chasm. ""Charlie Smith,"" someone shouted, ""is that you?"" ""Yes, it is,"" came the reply. ""Who are you?"" ""We're from the Red Cross."" ""I gave at the office!"" Charlie shouted back.

Two American soldiers have taken cover in a foxhole during an offensive in France during ww2. The enemy fire power is fierce, and they are unable to advance or retreat. Shells are zinging past them like wasps, and errant ricochets unnerve them. Mortar shells explode all around and the two men are sweating lest a shell might land atop of them. As the evening wears on and nerves become frazzled in the stifling heat, one of the men confides that he has to go to the bathroom really bad. ""Number 1 o…

A devout Christian is asked to evacuate in the face of coming floods. Upon hearing an announcement on the radio that the levies have failed and flooding is imminent, the Christian decides not to evacuate because the Lord will surely protect him. Well the storm comes and as it's pouring rain a police cruiser comes up making sure everyone is evacuated. He comes to the man's door and says 'sir, this is your last chance, evacuate now while the roads are still passable!"" ""No need sir, the Lord will…

A man dies and goes to heaven... He is standing in front of the pearly gates when saint Peter stands before him and asks ""What have you done to be here?"" The man says ""Well ten years ago I gave $1 to the Red Cross"" Saint Peter asks ""is that all?"" The man then says ""Well 5 years ago I gave $1 to some charity that I can't remember the name"" Saint peter asks ""is that all?"" The man then says ""yeah"" Saint peter says ""well in that case here is your $2 back and you can go to hell!""

Why did the cat join the Red Cross ? It wanted to be a first aid kit.

Kids' thoughts. I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life? --Age 15 Give me the strength to change the things I can, the grace to accept the things I cannot, and a great big bag of money. --Age 13 It sure would be nice if we got a day off for the president's birthday, like they do for the queen. Of course, then we would have a lot of people voting for a candidate …

I inherited a million dollars from a wealthy uncle. Charities got wind of my newfound wealth and being a generous chap, I am giving one quarter of it to the Boy Scouts, one quarter of it to my church, one quarter of it to the Red Cross, and another quarter to United Way. I'll still ... Read more...

Q: Why did the cat join the Red Cross? A: So it could become a first-aid kit.

At the Cedar Rapids Chamber of Commerce meeting the treasurer reported a deficit of two hundred dollars. One of the chamber members stood up and said ""I vote that we donate half of it to the Red Cross and then give the other fifty dollars to the Salvation Army.""

Q: What do you call a cat who's joined the Red Cross? - A: A first-aid kit!

Why did the cat join the Red Cross ? Because she wanted to be a first-aid kit !

Old Mrs. Watkins awoke one spring morning to find that the river had flooded the entire first floor of her house. Looking out of her window she saw that the water was still rising. Two men passing by on a rowboat shouted up an invitation to row to safety with them. ""No thank you"" Mrs. Watkins replied. ""The Lord will provide."" The men shrugged and rowed on. By evening the water level forced Mrs. Watkins to climb on top of the roof for safety. She was spotted by a man in a motorboat who offer…

A man got lost on a camping trip A man got lost on a camping trip. Rescuers scoured the wilderness until a medical emergency team finally spotted a solitary figure across a wide chasm. “Charlie Smith,” someone shouted, “is that you?” “Yes, it is,” came the reply. “Who are you?” “We're from the Red Cross.” “I gave at the office!” Charlie shouted back.

A joke about an old Jew. For context, the Western Wall, found on the Temple Mount is the holiest site in Judaism. Here is the joke: An old Jew prays briefly at the Western Wall every morning. A reporter says to the old Jew: "What have you been praying for?" The old Jew says: "I have been praying for peace at this wall ever since I was bar mitzvahed at age 13.For decades, I have prayed for peace here at this holy shrine, every morning. And then, I go about my day. I have been working with a…

A priest, an imam, and a rabbit walk into a Red Cross. The nurse asks them, "What's your blood type?" The rabbit says, "I'm pretty sure I'm a type o."

So I was at the Red Cross... Shopping for a stretcher. The assistant asked if I'd like try it out before I bought it. I thought ""Nah

I tried to donate blood to the Red Cross the other day... ...but they wouldn't accept it in a 5 gallon bucket.