#sir-you

Trump's first day at the Oval Office after being elected President First briefing to the President by CIA, Pentagon, FBI: Trump: We must destroy ISIS immediately. No delays. CIA: We cannot do that, sir. We created them along with Turkey, Iran, Qatar and others. Trump: The Democrats created them. CIA: We created ISIS, sir. You need them or else you would lose funding from the natural gas lobby. Trump: Stop funding Pakistan. Let India deal with them. CIA: We can't do that. Trump: Why is that? CIA:…

Trump's first day at Oval office..... ........after being elected President. First briefing by the CIA, Pentagon, FBI: Trump: We must destroy ISIS immediately. No delays. CIA: We cannot do that, sir. We created them along with Turkey, Saudi, Qatar and others. Trump: The Democrats created them. CIA: We created ISIS, sir. You need them or else you would lose funding from the natural gas lobby. Trump: Stop funding Pakistan. Let India deal with them. CIA: We can't do that. Trump: Why is that? CIA: I…

Trump on Day 1 Trump's first day at the Oval Office, after being elected President First briefing by the CIA, Pentagon, FBI: Trump: We must destroy ISIS immediately. No delays. CIA: We cannot do that, sir. We created them along with Turkey, Saudi, Qatar and others. Trump: The Democrats created them. CIA: We created ISIS, sir. You need them or else you would lose funding from the natural gas lobby. Trump: Stop funding Pakistan. Let India deal with them. CIA: We can't do that. Trump: Why is that?…

We are Trumped Trump's first day at the Oval Office. First briefing by the CIA, Pentagon, FBI: Trump: We must destroy ISIS immediately. CIA: We cannot do that, sir. We created them along with Turkey, Saudi, Qatar and others. Trump: The Democrats created them. CIA: We created ISIS, sir. You need them or else you would lose funding from the natural gas lobby. Trump: Stop funding Pakistan. Let India deal with them. CIA: We can't do that. It is Modi in India and not Manmohan. Trump: So what? CIA: Mo…

God save the world from America! Trump's first day at the Oval Office. First briefing by the CIA, Pentagon, FBI: Trump: We must destroy ISIS immediately. CIA: We cannot do that, sir. We created them along with Turkey, Saudi, Qatar and others. Trump: The Democrats created them. CIA: We created ISIS, sir. You need them or else you would lose funding from the natural gas lobby. Trump: Stop funding Pakistan. Let India deal with them. CIA: We can't do that. It is Modi in India and not Manmohan. Trump…

""Taxi"" A: Hey, man! Please call me a taxi. B: Yes, sir. You are a taxi.

John need Taxi John: Hey, man! Please call me a taxi. Steve: Yes, sir. You are a taxi

WTF!!!!!!!!!!! A: Hey, man! Please call me a taxi. B: Yes, sir. You are a taxi.

Black man wants to go live in Africa A black man is very upset with how blacks are treated in America and decides he wants to go to Africa to live among his ancestors. He goes up the counter at the airport and says ""I want a one-way ticket to Nigeria"" and throws his money on the counter. ""I'm sorry, sir. You appear to be 5 cents short"" said the clerk. ""5 cents? Who cares! Give me the ticket lady!"" shouted the man. ""I'm sorry sir, I need the correct amount or I cannot complete the transact…

Customer: Hi. How much is your paint? Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends on quite a lot of things. Customer: Can you give me a guess? Is there an average price? Clerk: Our lowest price is $12 a gallon, and we have 60 different prices up to $200 a gallon. Customer: What's the difference in the paint? Clerk: Oh, there isn't any difference; it's all the same paint. Customer: Well, then I'd like some of that $12 paint. Clerk: When do you intend to use the paint? Customer: I want to paint tomorrow. I…

An archaeologist is visiting a small town in Nevada... And he's just ambling around, enjoying the play of the autumn light on the terracotta and adobe-colored buildings. He rounds a corner and is surprised to see the most, bar none, *stunningly* beautiful alley he's ever come across. It may sound like he's a bit nerdy, but we all have our things we love, and he's a lover of old streets. The ground of the alley is a light orange in hue, with a soft almost nutty sheen and texture. His feet feel…

Elderly couple is driving down the road and get pulled over. The officer says "sir. You were doing 65 in a 45". Old lady in the passenger seat says "What did he say?" Man says "he said I was speeding" Officer says "I'm gonna have to issue you a citation." Old lady, "what did he say?" Man "he's giving me a ticket" As the officer is filling out his paperwork he notices the couple is from Cornhusker, Iowa. Officer says "I've been there. Worst piece of ass I ever had, I got there." Old lady, "wha…

If airlines sold paint (from Car Talk) Customer: Hi. How much is your paint? Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends on quite a lot of things. Customer: Can you give me a guess? Is there an average price? Clerk: Our lowest price is $12 a gallon, and we have 60 differentprices up to $200 a gallon. Customer: What's the difference in the paint? Clerk: Oh, there isn't any difference; it's all the same paint. Customer: Well, then I'd like some of that $12 paint. Clerk: When do you intend to use th…

A man was sitting at the bar when he walked over to the bartender... He asked the bartender, "Hey, how about one on the house for your ol' pal?" The bartender replied, "No can do, sir. You have to pay money to drink here." The man, crestfallen, tries a different strategy. "How about a bet?" The bartender's crippling gambling addiction took over, and with piqued curiosity said, "What do you have in mind?" "I bet you 500 dollars that I can piss into a glass on this bar and not get a drop anyw…

An american walks into a swiss bank... The bank is very full so it takes a long time for it to be his turn. After an hour wait he finally gets to go up to the counter. The woman asks him how she could assist him. He looks around, making sure he cant be heard and whispers into her ear "I would like to deposit $1 million into a bank account" The woman looks a bit startled and says out loud "oh dont worry sir! You dont have to whisper, here in Switzerland its no shame to be poor."

The Admiral An Admiral who lost one of his ears in an accident and was very sensitive about his appearance was interviewing a Navy Master Chief, an Aviation Master Chief and a Marine Sergeant Major for his personal staff. The first Master Chief was a Surface Navy type and it was a great interview. At the end of the interview the Admiral asked him, “Do you notice anything different about me?" The Master Chief answered, "Why, yes, Admiral. I couldn't help but notice that you are missing yo…

History Lesson Teacher: 'When was Rome built?' Sanjay: 'At night, sir.' Teacher: 'Who told you that?’ Sanjay: 'You did, sir. You once said that Rome was not built in a day.'

A: “Hey, man! Please call me a taxi.” B: “Yes, sir. You are a taxi!”