""What is the fastest thing you know?"" the interviewer asked to 4 candidates. Dave, the American, replied,""A THOUGHT"". It just pops into your head. There's no warning that it's on the way; it's just there. A thought is the fastest thing I know of."" ""That's very good!"" replied the interviewer. ""And now you sir?"" he asked Vladimir , the Russian. ""Hmm... let me see. A blink! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know. ""Excellent!"" said the interviewer. ""The blink of an eye, that's a very popular cliche for speed"". He then turned to George, the Australian who was contemplating his reply. ""Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light in the barn comes on. Yep, Turning on a LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of."" The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. ""It's hard to beat the speed of light"" he said. Turning to Patel, the Guy from India , the fourth and final man, the interviewer posed the same question. Patel replied, (in his Gujju accent!) ""Apter herring da 3 prebius ansers sir, et's obius to me dat the fastest thing is DIARRHEA."" ""WHAT!?"" said the interviewer, stunned by the response. The others were already giggling in their seats.. ""Oh, I can expleyn sir,"" said Patel. ""You see, sir, da ader day my tummy was pheeling bad and so I run so fast to the baatrum, but before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I alredi done it ! ""Patel is now the new ""Office Manager"" at Wal-Mart in Washington.