#bill-gates

Reportedly, Bill Gates filed for trademarks on iCrosoft, iNdows & iHateSteveJobs today. Then, he wiped his ass with a bazillion dollar bill.

[bill gates house] Bill: What's on at the cinema? Wife: Let me google it and- *terrified look at bill* Wife: Let me bing it and see.

Bill Gates is donating $10Billion to help children everywhere get vaccinations. ...But you know they're just gonna spend it on booze.

Considering what Bruce Wayne and Tony Stark did with their wealth, Bill Gates should be ashamed of himself.

Obama has been endorsed by Warren Buffett, Colin Powell, Mark Zuckerberg and Bill Gates. Romney has been endorsed by Lindsay Lohan.

Bill Gates is giving 100k to help develop a better & safer condom. I don't care how good it is, im not wearing a condom that says Microsoft.

Seeing how Iron Man and Batman are only really smart and super rich, I'm really disappointed with Bill Gates.

I accepted the Microsoft terms and conditions without reading them, and apparently I'm now responsible for hemming all of Bill Gates' pants.

Bill Gates is so rich... he hired cancer to kill Steve Jobs.

People on a plane Bill Gates, Tony Blair, an old man and a schoolchild are on a plane, when the pilot bursts out of the cabin ""The plane is about to crash, and there are only four parachutes. And one of them is mine!"" The pilot jumps out of the plane with the parachute Tony Blair stands up, grabs a parachute and says ""I was Prime Minister of the UK, I deserve to live!"" He jumps out of the plane Bill Gates stands up and says ""I am the smartest man alive, I should survive"" He grabs a parachu…

If you had to choose between Bill Gates' money and world peace... ...what colour should your porsche be?

Windows vs. Ford At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, 'If Ford had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.' In response to Bill's comment, Ford issued a press release stating: If Ford had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part): 1. For no …

This is business The dad walks up to his son and say: I wanna choose a girl for you to get married. Son: NO Dad: The girl will be Bill Gate's daughter. Son: Ok, then. Dad: I wantyour daughter to marry my son. Bill Gates: No freaking way! Dad: My son is the CEO of the World's Bank. Bill Gates accepts the offer. Dad goes to the World's Bank president: I want you to make my son your CEO. President: NO! Dad: He's Gate's daughter's fiancee. President: YES!

It is said that Bill Gates once farted in an Apple store which stank up the entire place. But after all, it's their fault for not having Windows.

The difference between me and Bill Gates is ""th"". He makes tens of millions of dollars per year. I make tenths of millions of dollars per year.

Bill Gates dies in a car accident, He finds himself in purgatory, being sized up by St. Peter. ""Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call; I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created that ghastly Windows '95. I'm going to do something I've never done before in your case; I'm going to let you decide where you want to go."" Bill replied, ""Well, what's the difference bet…

Smartest Man in the World An old priest, a boy scout, the President, Bill Gates and the smartest man in the world are traveling in an airplane together. Without warning, the engines fail and the plane starts plummeting towards the earth. There is one problem: the plane is loaded with only 5 parachutes. Someone will have to stay on the plane and die. The pilot walks into the cabin and let's them know the situation. He silently grabs a parachute and jumps out. Bill Gates responds, ""Society still …

Bill gates teaching a kindergarten class ""Let's count"" says Gates The children start counting as he told them to. 1,2,3.x,95,98,2000,ME,XP,7,8,8.1,9,10, 10 anniversary edition

Hey it's Bill Gates! Mr. Gates, why was 6 afraid of 7? ""I don't know, because 7 8 10?""

Bill Gates teaches a kindergarten class to count to ten. ""1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10.""

Bill Gates resigns! *Bill Gates has resigned as the 'Chairman of Microsoft' after receiving a letter from kuppuswamy. It reads*: *Saar*, I have some questions for you.... Please *yanswer* them: *Nambar wan*) The keyboard alphabets are not in order, when will you launch the correct version? *Nambar too*) There is yeh 'Start' button... but no 'Stop' button... Rascalaa, where it is? *Nambar tree*) I have already learned Microsoft Word, when are you "" *laanching*"" Microsoft Sentence? *Nambar for*)…

How Politics Really Works I told my son, ""You will marry the girl I choose."" He said, ""No."" I told him, ""She is Bill Gates daughter."" He said, ""Yes."" I called Bill Gates and said, ""I want your daughter to marry my son."" Bill Gates said, ""No."" I told Bill Gates, ""My son is the C.E.O. of World Bank."" Bill Gates said, ""Okay."" I called the President of World Bank and asked him to make my son the C.E.O. He said, ""No."" I told him, ""My son is Bill Gates son-in-law."" He said, ""Okay.…

John knows everyone John at work brags about him knowing everyone. His boss, Mike, is quite mad at him, and one day he says ""It's impossible that you know everyone on Earth"", but John replies ""That's not true, I'll prove it to you, just says a name"". Mike, quite confident, replies ""President Obama"". ""Ah, Barack, an old friend. Let's take a flight, we are going there to meet him"". Once they arrived at the 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, John enters the White House, greetings all the security gu…

Bill Gates dies and goes to Heaven St. Peter is waiting for Bill Gates at the pearly gates of heaven ""Well Bill, you're not Christian, but since you've led a good life, I'll let you choose where you end up."" St. Peter shows Bill a video of heaven - people praising god, floating on clouds, etc. ""Eh, that place looks kind of boring. What else do you have for me?"" He then shows Bill a video of hell - a bunch of people playing video games and talking tech. ""That place looks awesome! I'll go the…

Bill Gates farted in an apple store and stank up the whole place, But it's their fault for not having windows.