#bill-gates

Bill Gates walks into a Apple Store.... and as he is looking at the ipad he farts. He takes a whiff and says to an employee, you need to buy some windows.

Bill Gates be like: Hi,my name is Bill Gates, Let me teach you how to count: 1, 2, 3, 95, NT, 200, XP, VISTA, 7, 8, 10 Now give me money.

A business man can do anything... Dad: I want u 2 marry a girl of my choice. Son: No Dad: The girl is Bill Gates' daughter. Son: Then ok Dad goes 2 Bill Gates Dad: I want ur daughter 2 marry my son. Bill Gates: No Dad: My son is the CEO of the World Bank. Bill Gates: Then ok Dad goes 2 the President of the World Bank.. Dad: Apoint my son as the CEO of ur bank. President:No! Dad: He is the son-in-law of Bill Gates. President:Then ok! This is BUSINESS xD

Best dad joke Dad goes to his son and says: ""Son I want you to marry a girl I have selected for you"". The son says ""No way"". The dad says, ""She's the daughter of Bill Gates"". The son says ""Ok then"". The father goes to Bill Gates and says: ""I want your daughter to marry my son"". Bill Gates says: ""No way"". The father says, ""He's the ambassador of the World Bank"". Bill Gates says ""Ok then"". The father goes to the World Bank head and says ""I want you to make my son the international…

Bill Gates is a good rapper. Word.

There was a vote at the offices of Microsoft whether to update a beloved software or keep it the way it was. Bill Gates decided to v2 it

The Cheerio Joke Oh boy do I have a joke for you... Its called the cheerio joke. \------------------------------------- So there is this land called cheerio land and in cheerio land there are 7 classes of cheerio, 0-5 and the frosted cheerios. Now there is this level 0 cheerio. Hes homeless, living out on the street, probably an alcoholic. But he falls in love with a frosted cheerio princess. So one day he sneaks into the royal gala and goes up to the princess and asks her ""will you marry me?""…

Bill Gates, Steve Jobs and Linus Torvalds walk into a restroom in 2005... When Bill Gates finishes doing his business, he goes to the sink, washes his hands, pulls 20 paper towels from the dispenser, and dries his hands completely as Steve Jobs walks up. Bill says ""at Microsoft, we like to be thorough."" Steve Jobs washes his hands even cleaner than Bill, then takes only one paper towel, using every last little bit of it, and still managing to dry his hands completely. Steve says ""at Apple, we…

Really good business joke! - Clean Dad: son i want u 2 marry a girl of my choice. Son: NO! Dad: the girl is bill gates daughter Son: then OK Dad goes to bill gates Dad: i want your daughter 2 marry my son Bill gates: No Dad:My son is the CEO of the world bank Bill gates: then OK Dad goes to the president of the world bank Dad: Appoint my son the CEO of the world bank President: No Dad: he is the son-in-law of Bill gates President: then OK THIS IS BUSINESS

Bill Gates How does Bill Gates fix a broken lightbulb? He buys a new house.

Why did Bill Gates & Warren Buffett once have me quickly kicked out of a game of bridge? When it was my turn to bid I kept saying, ""Go fish"".

A man in a shop What happened to the man who fell over? He got up. Why did the man buy beans? Because there was no peas. what happened to the drunk who asked for directions? he lost his way. Why did the dentist say aww because the doctor told him to. what is big blue and hard to see a big blue dot 400 feet away who owns microsoft bill gates what did the german say when the chinese man spoke to him excuse me if you had a million pounds what would you do with it buy a very expensive plastic duck a…

What would you get if you crossed Bill Gates with Louis Leakey ... a philanthropologist.

The Cheerio Joke Oh boy do i have a joke for you... Its called the cheerio joke. ------------------------------------- So there is this land called cheerio land and in cheerio land there are 7 classes of cheerio, 0-5 and the frosted cheerios. Now there is this level 0 cheerio. Hes homeless, living out on the street, probaly an alchoholic. But he falls in love with a frosted cheerio princess. So one day he sneaks into the royal gala and goes up to the princess and asks her ""will you marry me?"" …

If you had to choose between world peace and Bill Gates' fortune... What color would your Lamborghini be?

So, Bill Gates and Steve Jobs walk into a bar... and I got sued for millions because I used both of their names in the same sentence.

When Bill Gates feels like a million bucks, he's having a crappy day.

If Bill Gates had a penny for every time I had to reboot my computer ...oh wait, he does.

Q: What should you do if windows crashes cost you a lot of money? A: You should bill Gates.

Funny helpdesk chat transcripts: Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have? Female customer: A white one... -------------------------------------------------------------------- Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out. Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button? Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck. Helpdesk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note ...."" Customer: No ... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry ........ --------------------------…

World's thinnest Books available at a bookstore near you. FRENCH WAR HEROES by Jacques Chirac HOW I SERVED MY COUNTRY by Jane Fonda MY BEAUTY SECRETS by Janet Reno MY SUPER BOWL HIGHLIGHTS by Dan Marino THINGS I LOVE ABOUT BILL by Hillary Clinton MY LITTLE BOOK OF PERSONAL HYGIENE by Osama Bin Laden THINGS I CANNOT AFFORD by Bill Gates THINGS I WOULD NOT DO FOR MONEY by Dennis Rodman MY WILD YEARS by Al Gore AMELIA EARHART'S GUIDE TO THE PACIFIC AMERICA'S MOST POPULAR LAWYERS DETROIT: a Travel G…

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: ""If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon."" In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics: 1. For no reason whatsoever your…

A pilot Michael Jordon Bill Gates the Pope and a pizza delivery man were all in a plane together traveling through stormy conditions. Suddenly the pilot came running back to the passengers and announced that lightning had hit the plane and they were going to crash in a matter of minutes. ""There are only enough parachutes for four of the five of us"" he announced. ""Since I'm the pilot I get one!"" After saying this the pilot grabbed a parachute and jumped out of the plane. ""I'm the world's gr…

Q. How does Bill Gates enter his house? A. He uses ""windows"".

What did Bill Gate's wife say to him on their wedding night? No wonder you called the company Microsoft