#google

Google+ is not a "ghost town", because a town filled with ghosts would actually be fun.

Stranger: "Excuse me where is the nearest..." Me: "GOOGLE IT!"

My IQ? With google or without?

After I clear my browser history I do a quick google search for things like "feeding the hungry" and "How to thank a loving wife"

Listen google, it's 2015. I need you to figure out who I'm talking about when I type "that one guy in that movie I didn't like."

I always keep a google search for "how to find anyone, anywhere, and kill them" open on my phone in case anyone steals it.

If you're going to bother Google with a search, it is polite to type "excuse me" first.

To use Google efficiently, write like Tarzan. "good tacos boston"

Some guy named Rand McNally printed out a bunch of Google maps and sells them at gas stations. Weird.

I was just told I'm someones BFF. Being the idiot I am, I had to google it. Backup-file Format is a euphemism for something hot right?

I just watched the girl next to me google "lack toast and tolerant symptoms" Symptoms: you have no toast but it's totally tolerable.

the boss hands me a gun, "you know what to do." I nod. outside, I frantically google: boss gun why how to kill is killing ok regift gun ok

They say drugs will hurt your long term memory but I kind of take pride in needing to Google the proper spelling of "Bieber" every damn time

"Google, how long will my trip to Cleveland take? "Your trip will take 5 hours" "Google, I have a child. "Your trip will take 9 hours".

God: One last thing before I let you in. Let's look at your Google search history. Me: I'll show myself out.

As I walk through the valley of the Shadow of Death, I remind myself that you can't always trust Google Maps.

HEALTH TIP: If you find a pill on the floor of a public restroom, Google it before taking it.

yikes. don't google "cream pies", google "cream pie recipes"

Wife: Did you want to go to Comic Con? Me: *Google searches 'Is Emilia Clarke going to be on the Game of Thrones panel at Comic Con'* "No"

I constantly google "how to put your kids up for adoption" so my kids can find it on my search history and know that I'm not messing around.

Fox News knows we can google stuff, right?

Google just alerted me to light traffic in my area which is odd because I'm in the bathtub.

You know you drank too much last night when you have to use google maps to locate yourself the next morning.

It's embarrassing that 90% of my Google history is just words I wasn't sure how to spell, and yes I googled embarrassing.

When writing science fiction, always Google your made-up planet name; 9 times out of 10, it's an existing yeast infection medication.